MittensMcMittens Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Hey guys, I'm new, so I'm not sure if it's right to post in here... Well my friends/boyfriend think my boss is sort of creepy towards me but I'm not so sure... I've been working in my job for a year now, just a regular, boring office job. I work with mostly girls but my boss is a youngish guy. He is nice enough and a cool enough boss ( for giving time off, etc), but I noticed some odd stuff about him and I'm not sure if it happens to just me... I've caught him staring at me a few times, not just looking at me, but full-on creepy staring. This happens in our break room sometimes, so he has no reason to be looking my way, as I'm not even working! Though he could just be staring into space, who knows... I've caught him blatantly staring at my chest, for no longer than about ten seconds but it's still obvious... he did it once in a one-on-one meeting when he was basically talking at my tits , not my face, and another time in a team meeting which was kinda embarrassing as I thought other people may have noticed... again, maybe he was actually just doing it without thinking One time we were on our own, putting away some files, and this could have been an accident as we were standing beside each other, and whatever way he dropped his hand from the shelf, he ended up touching my ass. Now, it was probably accidental but he just muttered ''sorry'' and walked away... It was weird. The other girls in work never mention anything like this happening to them, but I have heard them make jokey remarks about how great-looking he thinks he is and how he likes young women around him. I don't even know why I'm posting this, tbh, cause he is nice enough so I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I guess I just find it hard to be comfortable around him and get self-conscious. Btw, he is married and I'm not particularly attractive or anything so this could all be in my head. I s'pose I'm just looking for advice on how to block it out and get on with my day. Please be brutally honest if you think I'm being stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
The Straightener Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 He does sound like he's doing some pretty creepy things. I'd watch myself if I were you. Mention something about your "boyfriend" being an MMA fighter or a boxer with a very nasty temper and lets see if he changes his actions. Link to post Share on other sites
orionboxing Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Hmmm...tough call. He doesn't sound like he's crossing the line until he's said something flat out inappropriate. Staring at the chest is normal. Guys do things like that. He said "sorry" after touching your ass. I think a creeper wouldn't have said anything. Him staring at you a long time in the break room might be a part of his personality. He's a boss, he might have confidence, and confident people (at least the ones I'm around) don't break eye contact. See how things progress... Link to post Share on other sites
favoritepills Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I find this to be really good advice: male coworker won?t stop staring at me ? Ask a Manager The next time he stares at you, just ask him about it. "I noticed you kept looking at me. What's up?" It doesn't have to be confrontational, you can take an is-there-something-on-my-face tone when you say it. As for talking to your breasts -- look, I know men stare, but it's pretty rude to be so blatant about it. A man should at least make an effort to be subtle. You can be jokey about calling him out on it, like, "Hey, I'm up here" or "They can't talk to you, look up." Link to post Share on other sites
Author MittensMcMittens Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 He does sound like he's doing some pretty creepy things. I'd watch myself if I were you. Mention something about your "boyfriend" being an MMA fighter or a boxer with a very nasty temper and lets see if he changes his actions. Haha:laugh: He does know I have a boyfriend, and it doesn't seem to have bothered him so far... I'll mention the temper thing if he does get too weird and we'll see what happens:p Hmmm...tough call. He doesn't sound like he's crossing the line until he's said something flat out inappropriate. Staring at the chest is normal. Guys do things like that. He said "sorry" after touching your ass. I think a creeper wouldn't have said anything. Him staring at you a long time in the break room might be a part of his personality. He's a boss, he might have confidence, and confident people (at least the ones I'm around) don't break eye contact. See how things progress... I defo have thought all of the above at some point. I do feel like I'm making a fuss in my own head out of nothing ( I've been known to over-analyse things!).... hmm, the eye-contact thing though, it's not so much that we're both looking at each other... I just see him out of the corner of my eye, watching me... I don't know though. I'm probably coming across as really arrogant here Thanks for your response!. I find this to be really good advice: male coworker won?t stop staring at me ? Ask a Manager The next time he stares at you, just ask him about it. "I noticed you kept looking at me. What's up?" It doesn't have to be confrontational, you can take an is-there-something-on-my-face tone when you say it. As for talking to your breasts -- look, I know men stare, but it's pretty rude to be so blatant about it. A man should at least make an effort to be subtle. You can be jokey about calling him out on it, like, "Hey, I'm up here" or "They can't talk to you, look up." Thank you for the link, some good advice there. I'd be with you on the staring-at-boobs thing, I know men tend to stare at them, but I think there should be some subtely especially in a professional environment. again, I'm not really sure what advice I want really, but it was nice to get it out in the open and hear other's opinions on it! Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you want to make a joke of it, the next time he stares at your chest in conversation, draw an arrow pointing upwards onto a piece of paper and place it in front of your chest. No words need to be spoken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 If you want to make a joke of it, the next time he stares at your chest in conversation, draw an arrow pointing upwards onto a piece of paper and place it in front of your chest. No words need to be spoken. Although if the boss has her boobs and sex on the brain, he'll probably interpret the arrow as a symbol for "erect penis". Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 I think there are a couple things you can do. I have been in similar situations and in some I have just ignored, in others I have taken action. I have sat down with the person, brought up the behavior and asked them to stop. I said that I wasn't sure if they were aware of it but it made me uncomfortable and to please refrain from doing so. In another case when the person would not stop with their behavior I went to their supervisor and complained to have it addressed. You can also go to HR and have them assist you in addressing it. The last thing a company wants/ should want is a sexual harassment claim and he is on the slippery slope to it. In a lot of cases, these things continue/escalate. Please understand this and figure out where your line is and what actions you will take if it gets there. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts