Why is it more acceptable for a man to cheat/sleep around than a woman?

[loversquarrel]

I bolded these points because I think this is a myth that will get debunked the longer women are able to have casual sex. Women havent been able to have casual sex and not get judged for much time (guesstimating...40 years? Thats .000000001% of human existence)

 

I know several women who were in LOVING relationships that cheated on a whim. Why? A hot guy gave them attention and they went for it.

Have you visited Europe? All of my friends who studied abroad there said women cheated like crazy there, same as men. The difference is there people arent as judgmental and dont label women as villains. I studied abroad in New Zealand and it was the same culture. The Kiwis thought Americans were "f***** crazy" when I told them about the double standard. It doesnt exist there

 

I also know men who have cheated for emotional reasons. Because they had hot, bitchy girlfriends who didnt support them enough and when a sweet woman did the same, they went for it

 

I didnt say I disagree with biology, but biology is used as an excuse. Women cannot use biology as an excuse- we get villainifed. Biology also really tends to paint women as less likely to cheat in general as well as less likely to cheat for sexual reasons. I dont agree 100%...I think males are in denial. Really, you should go live in an environment where women wont be judged and youll see their behavior and what I mean

 

We still have ways to go in terms of equality

 

Really, the only thing thats thrown out alot lately about cheating that I agree with 100% is that women are better at hiding it. You will get VERY few women who will ADMIT they cheated on a whim for sexual reasons...I am sure alot of these women lie.

 

Have your friends ever visited the middle east? There's quite a few over there that tend to think we have no standards at all.

[Ladybugz]

its just that men often put a end t it often immidiatly when they fing out.

but wman often keep giving him chances.

[pbjbear]

Have your friends ever visited the middle east? There's quite a few over there that tend to think we have no standards at all.

 

Yep. Men who use sex from a biology point of view really just use it to justify their selfish behavior.

Evolution says women are wired to cheat with alpha males when theyre ovulating and they fail to look at that too.

Cultural influences are important. in the US, its more acceptable for a man to cheat than a woman.

[nofool4u]

Why is it more acceptable for a man to cheat/sleep around than a woman?

 

Its not.

 

 

I see double standards in this forum alot.

 

I also see them, but in a different context, which I'll highlight below.

 

 

I see even more in real life.

 

Only from the dog ass men that cheat and think this. In which case their opinion can be easily dismissed as having any merit, much less intelligence.

 

 

Some of the situations Ive read by the men posting here, if it was reversed where they were wronging the woman...the woman is told its not a big deal

 

Well then we can take that in another direction I've seen on this forum. When a man cheats, he is simply a selfish dirty dog, to which I agree.

 

But I've seen posts where when a woman cheats, it should be understood and she cheated because the man pushed her to it.

 

 

If a woman sleeps with another guy before shes committed to him/when shes just dating him= shes a whore with bad character

If a man does the same thing = hes a guy and it doesnt mean anything

 

 

I've seen that kind of thinking and its a load of horses***

 

I know people will list biological reasons to justify men's cheating but I dont buy it at all.

 

Neither do I. That whole animal instinct and men are programmed to spread their seed bulls***

[Woggle]

I don't buy that biology or evolution crap either. We all have free will and can choose whether or not to cheat. Some people don't like being monogamous and in that case they should just be honest with partners.

[KathyM]

I think there's definately a double standard. Women are expected to look the other way if their spouse cheats, accept that men will be men, boys will be boys, etc., and overlook/be forgiving of his cheating, whereas if the wife cheats, men cannot get over that usually. I know a couple where the man cheated a few times during their marriage, and the wife always tried to forgive, but when she decided to go outside the marriage, he went into a rage and then divorced her. Double standard for sure.

[Leigh 87]

I don't buy that biology or evolution crap either. We all have free will and can choose whether or not to cheat. Some people don't like being monogamous and in that case they should just be honest with partners.

 

 

 

Totally. You know, as a women, I too really love the buzz and the thrill of meeting someone "new" and the way it feels when they first touch you.. it is new and really exciting.

 

Who doesn't like that feeling?

 

It makes me roll my eyes when guys are like "but it is in our DNA to have sex with as many women as possible to spread our genes"

 

LOL. It's like well, women enjoy the thrill of meeting new guys too, and the "new" sex they have with new people.. but the decent women do not go around bein sluts about it, nor do they cheat.

[Leigh 87]

I think there's definately a double standard. Women are expected to look the other way if their spouse cheats, accept that men will be men, boys will be boys, etc., and overlook/be forgiving of his cheating, whereas if the wife cheats, men cannot get over that usually. I know a couple where the man cheated a few times during their marriage, and the wife always tried to forgive, but when she decided to go outside the marriage, he went into a rage and then divorced her. Double standard for sure.

 

Tell me about it!

 

My boyfriend once had that stupid mindset, that boys will be boys and occasionally go to a hooker when they have a partner..... His friend and culture around ihm dictated that most guys did cheat on their partners, cos ya know, sex with one person for life is.... just not NATURAL :lmao:

 

Yet if I so much as touched a guy, he would have literally gone crazy, punched the guy, and been devastated.

 

I did not get into a propper relationship with my partner until he got THAT out of his system. We stayed friends until he felt like he WANTED to be monogomus, and not feel the need to "just be a guy who needs more than one women for sex"

 

Sometimes when the guy actually loses their partner, they will wake up and realise how unfullfilling it is to be able to have more women to f*ck, opposed to having their partner.

 

Turns out the thrill of having "more than one women" to have sex with is... not remotely appealing compared to having a loving partner. Wh they are attracted to and enjoy sex with.

 

But yeah, I used to believe that notion too; of men needing to be men, about biology dictating that they need more than one sexual partner.......

[magnum pi]

Whatever man.

 

You just sound like another bitter person who likes to focus on the negative things in life.

 

Why start this thread? WHy not just focus on the potisive elements of dating, like the fact your an attractive (from your description or yourself), clever girl, who is likely to find a decent guy?

 

There are people way worse off than you in terms of their dating prospects, so I recommend that you focus on the good in people, rather that think about why things are not "fair".

 

And no, both men and women who sleep around in a way that is not classy are looked down upon.

No decent girl who is looking for a serious relationship would want to get with a guy who had a history of sleeping around..............

 

I SO SO agree there is no double standard .its just loose women that get judged and for good reason imo that get mad and pisses cause word gets around and guys just see her as blow job betty lol .

[magnum pi]

Whatever guys and girls that sleep with lots of people both get judged by classy people .

 

That's life if you make poor choices you get judged .

And hey if you want to screw 100 dudes then do it just don't cry about the rolling eyes and wispering when you walk by or if you bf finds out later and dumps you .

[magnum pi]

Tell me about it!

 

My boyfriend once had that stupid mindset, that boys will be boys and occasionally go to a hooker when they have a partner..... His friend and culture around ihm dictated that most guys did cheat on their partners, cos ya know, sex with one person for life is.... just not NATURAL :lmao:

 

Yet if I so much as touched a guy, he would have literally gone crazy, punched the guy, and been devastated.

 

I did not get into a propper relationship with my partner until he got THAT out of his system. We stayed friends until he felt like he WANTED to be monogomus, and not feel the need to "just be a guy who needs more than one women for sex"

 

Sometimes when the guy actually loses their partner, they will wake up and realise how unfullfilling it is to be able to have more women to f*ck, opposed to having their partner.

 

Turns out the thrill of having "more than one women" to have sex with is... not remotely appealing compared to having a loving partner. Wh they are attracted to and enjoy sex with.

 

But yeah, I used to believe that notion too; of men needing to be men, about biology dictating that they need more than one sexual partner.......

 

Guys and girls that cheat are scum bags. Doesn't matter whats between the legs and if you screw tons of random people its hoe like .

[chucksagent]

Magnum PI makes a GREAT point...

 

Not sure all of your ages...But when I was in High School, College, and Law School, there was DEF a double standard that men who slept around were "cool players" and women who slept around were "dirty whores."

 

BUT...Now that I am an adult, mid 30's, real world, real job, etc...I've noticed that BOTH are equally shamed and judged.

 

PRIME EXAMPLE...I have 2 friends who are BOTH man whores and sleep around a lot. Earlier in life, these 2 guys were revered and thought "wow, those guys rock!" But now, we all pity them and they are a running joke for us normal guys AND our wives and girlfriends and their friends.

 

And usually, these types of guys have other problems. Lol. One has several DUI's and couldn't even drive for a long time. The other still lives with his mother.

 

But I think the double standard erodes as you get older. Maybe not in the Italian American community, but I know in my Irish Famly, if I ever cheated on my spouse, my ENTIRE family would disown me and take her side.

[loversquarrel]

Yep. Men who use sex from a biology point of view really just use it to justify their selfish behavior.

Evolution says women are wired to cheat with alpha males when theyre ovulating and they fail to look at that too.

Cultural influences are important. in the US, its more acceptable for a man to cheat than a woman.

 

 

Evolution does not dictate cheating.

 

If you are stating that women are wired to cheat with alpha males while they are ovulating, then men must be wired to seek out many women to spread their dna. While this is true with most species, it isn't necessarily so with humans. We have the capacity to control our own actions, even when temptation arises.

 

Women who use sex from an emotional point of view really just use it to justify their selfish behavior.

[pbjbear]

Evolution does not dictate cheating.

 

If you are stating that women are wired to cheat with alpha males while they are ovulating, then men must be wired to seek out many women to spread their dna. While this is true with most species, it isn't necessarily so with humans. We have the capacity to control our own actions, even when temptation arises.

 

Women who use sex from an emotional point of view really just use it to justify their selfish behavior.

 

I agree with you 100%. I stated that bit about ovulation (which has been proven true by scientific studies...) to illustrate the point that men just use their DNA as an excuse ignore the rest of evolution that doesnt suit them and say its not true. One of my guy friends who used his DNA as a reason to cheat on his partner sure did not like hearing that part about women's ovulation and subonsciously seeking for a more alpha partner and he said it was bullcrap...even though I majored in evolutionary psych and there are just as many studies to support that as there is that men "need to spread their seed"

 

Women cheat for nonemotional reasons ALL the time...difference? They justify it using emotional reasons because a woman who admits she did it for physical reasons is judged a whore. Men tend to be more honest when they state why they cheat...they just say "it was for a good f***"

[ChessPieceFace]

OP I would just say - stop taking advice from, and stop surrounding yourself with people who think cheating is OK for either gender. I don't think it's ever OK in any way, for anyone. Anyone who cheats has ruined the relationship, because they've broken the trust any relationship is based on.

 

I could make so many rant threads in the other direction, on so many topics where men get the short end of the stick, or just endless injustices about life on planet Earth in general, but I don't see the point of that.

 

Start surrounding yourself with people of moral character.

[loversquarrel]

I agree with you 100%. I stated that bit about ovulation (which has been proven true by scientific studies...) to illustrate the point that men just use their DNA as an excuse ignore the rest of evolution that doesnt suit them and say its not true. One of my guy friends who used his DNA as a reason to cheat on his partner sure did not like hearing that part about women's ovulation and subonsciously seeking for a more alpha partner and he said it was bullcrap...even though I majored in evolutionary psych and there are just as many studies to support that as there is that men "need to spread their seed"

 

Women cheat for nonemotional reasons ALL the time...difference? They justify it using emotional reasons because a woman who admits she did it for physical reasons is judged a whore. Men tend to be more honest when they state why they cheat...they just say "it was for a good f***"

 

Of course they do, just as their are many men who cheat for emotional reasons and tell their partners it was "just sex", a lie used to lessen the extent of emotional fallout when caught.

[in_absentia]

It isn't...!