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Friendship or more?


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About 6 months ago I met a guy on a flight. I often travel between the US and UK for family and work reasons. We talked, and I mean talked the whole flight. Swapped email addresses and continued to chat on line for a few months. Very platonic, very nice and a little bit of flirting. We met a month or so later whilst I was in the UK. Had 3 great days together but then things cooled. We still talked until December, every other day. Mainly email but a few phone calls. During my time in the uk we texted every nigh until late.

 

We had a talk in December and he said we would just be friends, he doesn't want sex anymore until he meets the girl of his dreams. We have a 4 day trip booked next time I'm in the UK but decided to do this as friends.

 

However, in the last month things have stepped up a little. We talk, text, email everyday. He has shared really personal information. I know this in itself is a big move for him as he is very private. Pictures have been exchanged and we talk for 2 or 3 hours at a time.

 

Here's my question, clearly we have a huge amount in common, the conversations we have are very deep but fun. We tease each other and he said I'm like no one else he has in his life. Both of are single. He however is a player from way back but claims he now wishes to move away from this. He puts x's on every single message. He calls me luv all the time and it feels like he spends so much time with me over text and phone. He calls me, not just me calling him.

 

I have been out of the dating game for years and years so have no idea what to think.

 

Is he after more? Or is this just a really nice friendship?

 

He confuses me greatly and I have fallen him in a big way but I can't bring myself to say anything.

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Personally, to me it sounds like you guys just have a very close relationship. I have basically the same kind of relationship with a girl I have known since I was a kid, we flirt every one and awhile and if she is in the mood we have been known to talk pretty dirty to each other and we share things with each other like an open book and both of us are very closed and secretive people. I too was in the same boat you are in thinking there might be something more and I spilled my feelings and kinda made her close up a bit on me. Now that she knows I like her she isnt the same as she once was and in her mind we just had sort of a special bond between us, but nothing more then a close platonic friendship. Please dont make the same mistake I did, just value the friendship for what it is and if the guy your friends with wants something more let him come to you. You will know if he wants something more by his actions when you both are together. Dont just assume he wants something more by the way you guys talk on text messages.

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I stuffed up big time. I need some advice. We had planned a 3 night getaway next time I am in the UK. This is in just 3 weeks. I sent him an email telling him how I feel. That I have feelings from him that I am sure are friendship based and I needed him to know. I got a terse email back, saying he is going away for a few days to think about if meeting is a good idea. You have to understand that there is definate chemistry there, he must have known from the way and amount we had been interacting. Why would he do this. Is it over? I am just so devasted and empty. I sent him a message saying I thought I made myself clear that it was just friendship and we had been both going through something traumatic in the last month and my feelings had crept up on me. I cant bare to loose the friendship and now I just have to sit and wait to hear from him. Do you think he might have feelings? am I reading too much into it? HELP

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