Angel32 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 I was wondering if anyone can help. I have been married for 4 years now but with my husband for 8 years. We have been on a major roller coaster ride from day one. He is extremely jealous & extremely possessive. I am feeling very smothered lately and I'm not sure how deal with it. I have been dealing with some health issues that has made me very moody and very difficult for me to deal with the emotional stress. He has to know every move I make and if not I am in trouble & I hear about it forever. He thinks that I am having an affair which is totally impossible as busy as I am. I have been extremely tired lately from being sick and haven't had any energy to do anything. The jealousy issue is just getting so overwhelming I can't go anywhere without him, if I look in the wrong direction I get accused of starring at another guy. We can't even go out and have a good time anymore because he says I make eye contact with other guys. He has cheated on me when we were just dating & I'm thinking that is why he is so insecure because he doesn't trust himself. I was kinda hoping someone could give me some suggestions on how to deal with someone that is this insecure. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Go to marriage counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angel32 Posted August 24, 2004 Author Share Posted August 24, 2004 we have gone to counselling but he is so stubborn he doesn't think the way he is acting is wrong at all. We have been going to church too. I'm wonder if they way he is acting could be due to his Roxycodone medicine he takes everyday and he drinks beer everyday also. There are times that he is so good & doesn't question me about anything and we get along so well. But then there are times that we fight from the time we get home from work until we go to bed about jealousy issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Have you read up on the drug he's taking? If not, read the following: http://www.drugs.com/PDR/Roxicodone_Tablets.html Maybe that will help answer some of your questions. Does he act differently since he's starting taking this drug? How long is he going to be taking it? Does his doctor know he's drinking while taking it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angel32 Posted August 24, 2004 Author Share Posted August 24, 2004 Yes I have read about this drug. He has been taking this drug for at least 3 years now. He has 5 degenerating discs in his back & no I haven't told his Dr. that he is drinking while taking it. He has received a letter recently though from the pain clinic that they are requiring every on these types of medicines to go through counseling. I told him that I thought it would be good for him. I also told him that he needs to go on some type of anti-depressant but he won't do it. His dad died about 2 1/2 years ago from alzheimer's and he has been checked for it & it came back negative. He sometimes forgets where he is going when he gets in the car. He also forgets when I tell him where I am going. I had to go the the Dr's for a shot & then to the hospital for an MRI. I was gone for about 2 1/2 hours and he couldn't get ahold of me because I couldn't have my cellphone on at the hospital. Well needless to say he left me 4 voicemails and when I was walking out of the hospital guess who was in the parking. His last voicemail he left was when I get his message call him and tell him where I am and who I am with. I am so tired of him acting this way and would like to live my own life. Don't get me wrong I love him very much but this tearing our relationship appart. He has moved out for a few months & we were ready to get a divorce but we both realized how much we love each. He then moved back in and was not questioning me for like a month then he went back to the same old thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 The first thing you need to know is that he is probrobly suffering from Low Self Esteem and he has Trust Issues. I can't be certain that the medication is causing his insecurity ( big doubts there. ) but regardless he is using alcohol which tends to pull away the sheild of *civilty* causing you to see the real side of him. If he accuses you of cheating, this is a constant never ending cycle of his insecurities. How do I know ? I lived with a alcoholic and found out later in my classes that what you * See * when he is using alcohol is the REAL him. The alcohol only takes away the common sense of acting civil. So in other words, if he started hitting you ( as an example )when he drank , then he really is abusive 100% of the time but holds back until the alcohol takes away his control. So you see the percentages of abuse and pretty soon the percentages are getting higher because he is under the influence of something that is beyond his control without help. It is a disease. ( Alcoholism ) He is taking that drug and that is most likely exacerbating ( increasing ) his feeling of loss of control over you..feeling like you are cheating....He has a low opinion of himself and his dysfunctionalism is either partly related to the drug/alchohol but most likely he had a dysfunction early on and now it comes to term later in his life. My advice ( it would have been to leave him and soon ) but since this drug is unfamiliar to me I cannot say whether it has alot to do with his behavior. If it does and he can change medications and he can be a better husband then its worth working with. If however he is always acting insecure and jealous without probable cause then your best advice is to RUN far way ! I did and deeply appreciate my new life...free of most of what you are going through now Good Luck ! Link to post Share on other sites
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