Am I friend or love?

[Miss Doubtful]

Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been going out for about a month now. We're both really shy, so it has taken us awhile to be comfortable with one another......and we're still not there.

 

I have a feeling that he may not be interested anymore, and may just want to be friends. I have tried recently to call him pet names, because it's what I want to do. But he never calls me petnames directly......instead he gives me these riddles that when solved become pet names. It was sweet for awhile, but i can't help thinking that he's only doing it to keep me happy.....because he never says anything sweet to my face.

 

He's also always acting cool around me....like I told him that I was going away for about 2 weeks, and he firstly said "awwwww" but the acted like he couldn't give a hoot.....did I hurt his ego or what?

 

Also, when we were talking on the net last night.....he reffered to me as "matey, chum, buddy"........and when he went, all he said was "later" and that was it. Is he trying to tell me something or what??

 

Am I just being paranoid?

 

Please help

[Tony T]

Well, he certainly won't win Romantic of the Month.

 

He may be extremely shy and slow moving, just clumbsy and unaware of what he should say or how he should conduct himself, he may be very inexperienced with dating and relationships, he may be very coy.

 

I don't think he would spend time with you if he wasn't interested. However, when you determine you have spent enough time dealing with him, you will probably need to move on.

 

No, I don't see how you could have hurt his ego by telling him you were going away for two weeks. That wouldn't make a lot of sense. He may just be too socially inept to know what to say...like, gee, I'll really miss you but I do hope you have a great time...or something like that. He just sounds like he doesn't have a clue of what to say.

 

There is a possiblity he likes you so much he just gets really nervous around you and his mind goes blank. I have gotten that way before. Although it's a remote possibility, I doubt it's the case here.

 

If you really want to find out what's going on, stop talking to him on the net, back off a bit, start being busy when he calls and cut the conversations short, don't accept so many of his invitations to go out, etc. Become a super challenge. If that doesn't turn him around real quick, then you can bet he has some sort of problem. Give him some of his own medicine...call him bud, kiddo, etc.

 

He really sounds a bit immature and inexperienced. Maybe you ought to move on to someone further along the road of life. If he isn't helping you feel special and desireable, there's not much reason to spend time with him...even as a friend.

[Deejette]

Matey and chumb are not romantic words. As much as you may not want to hear this, it sounds like he is trying to steer the relationship towards friendship rather than romance.

 

You may need to step back and see what his next moves will be over the next few months.

Well, he certainly won't win Romantic of the Month. He may be extremely shy and slow moving, just clumbsy and unaware of what he should say or how he should conduct himself, he may be very inexperienced with dating and relationships, he may be very coy. I don't think he would spend time with you if he wasn't interested. However, when you determine you have spent enough time dealing with him, you will probably need to move on. No, I don't see how you could have hurt his ego by telling him you were going away for two weeks. That wouldn't make a lot of sense. He may just be too socially inept to know what to say...like, gee, I'll really miss you but I do hope you have a great time...or something like that. He just sounds like he doesn't have a clue of what to say. There is a possiblity he likes you so much he just gets really nervous around you and his mind goes blank. I have gotten that way before. Although it's a remote possibility, I doubt it's the case here. If you really want to find out what's going on, stop talking to him on the net, back off a bit, start being busy when he calls and cut the conversations short, don't accept so many of his invitations to go out, etc. Become a super challenge. If that doesn't turn him around real quick, then you can bet he has some sort of problem. Give him some of his own medicine...call him bud, kiddo, etc. He really sounds a bit immature and inexperienced. Maybe you ought to move on to someone further along the road of life. If he isn't helping you feel special and desireable, there's not much reason to spend time with him...even as a friend.