Ya'll aint gonna believe this...

[NotCamelot]

At this point, there is nothing he could say that would change my path. My W says that she has told me everything. He said that as well last August.

 

Maybe they have, maybe they haven't. I really don't care to know anything further.

 

I do know it's over.

 

This past Monday when I was having one of my "bad" days, filled with memory triggers, she asked me what was wrong. She said, "I know something wrong. I have not done anything, so please tell me what it is so I can help." She was in tears as she said this. I explained that it was memories that were bothering me. She again repeated the sorrow and apologies.

 

Guys I really do appreciate all the comments, but she really is genuine.

 

He obviously has a problem and I know a lot of it is alcohol related.....according to his wife. He has severe financial problems.

 

Don't forget, I did talk to his family and told them about him and his actions last month. So, maybe there is some retaliation on his feeble mind.

Edited January 25, 2013 by NotCamelot

[NotCamelot]

Ok, we got the TPO's at lunch today. Now he will have to show up in court in about 40 days to defend himself. I he has anything to say to me, that will give him his chance.

 

AND, most important to me, he will have to say it in front of my wife!

[Survivor12]

Please, find out what he was convicted for. Convictions are public record. If it was a local crime, it would be listed with the Circuit Clerk. Call and ask. At the very least, they could tell you where else to inquire. You could also google his name or do an online background search.

 

If he is a violent criminal, you need to be aware of it. A TRO won't protect you if he chooses to ignore it. It's merely a deterrent and a "paper trail" if he were to come after you or your wife. It's important to know who you are dealing with & what he's capable of so you can be prepared.

[Survivor12]

It may also be useful in supporting your case in court.

[NotCamelot]

Please, find out what he was convicted for. Convictions are public record. If it was a local crime, it would be listed with the Circuit Clerk. Call and ask. At the very least, they could tell you where else to inquire. You could also google his name or do an online background search.

 

If he is a violent criminal, you need to be aware of it. A TRO won't protect you if he chooses to ignore it. It's merely a deterrent and a "paper trail" if he were to come after you or your wife. It's important to know who you are dealing with & what he's capable of so you can be prepared.

 

Trying to find out..... one of his wife's sister's has offered to help!

[Snowflower]

Not Camelot, the first thing that came to my mind when I read your post--and before I read the subsequent responses was, "what a whole lot of stupid drama."

 

I don't have a good feeling about your situation and I'm not going to speculate about what the truth is. The bad feeling stems from this drama and stupidity that you are no subject to, through no fault of your own.

 

Really? A supposed convicted felon? Being followed from your work at lunch? Getting a TPO?

 

Is this how you want to live your life? I have no idea what is really going on and I don't like to speculate.

 

However, I would be mad as h*ll about this unnecesary drama your wife has brought into your life.

 

Why do you put up with this?

[Act Two]

Tell your wife you're curious as to what he needs to say and that you've decided to let him have that opportunity at the upcoming court date.

 

The curiosity would kill me!

[Journee]

I hate that you have to endure such drama and stress.

 

I really just want to offer you support. I hope that their is not any further pain to come your way. It's difficult enough to move through the swamp of sexual impropriety without the interference of AP.

 

Keep your head up and your eyes and nose wide open.

[ComingInHot]

Why & when was the OM's W snapping picture of you?!?!

 

That IS Creepy to say the least...

 

Anyway, a nightmare if ever I read but hopefully w/a happy ending as your Wife is acting appropriately.

 

I'm rooting for you!**

[Ellin]

.as soon as it goes red, I go through the light making a right turn -- that car does the same.

I don't want to appear as if I'm picking on things... but I just don't understand. Why did you feel it was necessary to break the law and put yourself / others in danger in that situation?

[whichwayisup]

I don't want to appear as if I'm picking on things... but I just don't understand. Why did you feel it was necessary to break the law and put yourself / others in danger in that situation?

 

She didn't go through the light, she made a right turn when the light turned red.

[silvermercy]

 

I do feel 100% certain that she has no NC with him.

 

He told the cops he wanted me to stop emailing him. I have not emailed that fool but twice in the entire time - or ever.

I'm trying to glue these odd reactions together for BOTH of them.

ODD reaction number 1: your wife immediately grasping the phone to call 911. How did she know to do that? What prompted such a reaction?

 

ODD reaction number 2: the OM claiming he wanted you to stop emailing him even though you know you had only emailed a couple of times.

 

My conclusion: your wife has been in contact with the other man (either with your email or hers or a new hidden email, perhaps claiming it was you instead of hers.

[anne1707]

She didn't go through the light, she made a right turn when the light turned red.

 

I am not sure where Ellin lives - in the US, you can go through the red and turn but in the UK, you can't. This may just be different rules of the road thing.

[Ellin]

She didn't go through the light, she made a right turn when the light turned red.

oh, I see.

 

Yep, where I live you're not allowed to do that. I thought the OP broke a couple of traffic rules (also turning without indicating) and thought it was a bit odd to "run away" like this just because someone seemed to be following. It would perhaps be more logical to stop somewhere and see what it was all about.

 

Another thing I'm worried about is why the W called the police straight away. From what I understand this was the first time something like this happened, so not exactly stalking or anything. The guy wasn't aggressive or threatening neither, just wanted to say something so why not listen to what he wanted to say, or just tell him to go away and if he didn't then threaten to call the police, and if he still insisted then maybe call 911?

 

Also, why did the W want him arrested, what was his crime?

 

Unless she was so utterly guilt-ridden that she just wanted to remove the xMM from the view asap, but in any case seems like a bit of over-reaction and unnecessary drama on all sides.

[whichwayisup]

The guy wasn't aggressive or threatening neither,

 

Being followed like what was described IS aggressive! If someone did that to me, for sure I'd call the cops. In fact, I'd probably drive to the nearest cop station!

[Ellin]

Being followed like what was described IS aggressive! If someone did that to me, for sure I'd call the cops. In fact, I'd probably drive to the nearest cop station!

Being followed like what? From what I understand the guy was, well, following, nothing more than that. You make it sound as if the guy tried to push OP off the road or something.

 

The OP did not have to run away like crazy, taking unnecessary risks to himself and other people, as if he was an action film hero. If he had not done that, that whole chase would not have taken place.

 

You don't run away just because someone appears to be following you, unless of course you are a lone, vulnerable person in the night in a deserted area, or you know that they are there to kill you, or something like that.

 

Maybe I missed something but I did not see any mention of xMM threatening OP or his W.

[Ellin]

It is called stalking... and yes it is a crime!

 

Guys, please give this guy a breath... we all know a lot of things can go wrong.. but here I have read too many conspiratorial theories!

 

My advise is indeed to hear what the OM has to say in court and then to move forward from there...

 

But for now just concede the benefit of the doubt to your wife!

I would imagine that stalking as a crime would involve a little bit more than one isolated incident.

[beenburned]

Yes, it is legal to turn right on red in most states here in the US.(not all)

 

NC,

 

Please protect yourself and keep us updated! I agree with the other posters that there is no limit to the lies cheaters tell to save their a**!

[NotCamelot]

hmmm.....

 

I did go through the light making a right turn. All actions in driving, up until we stopped the first time, was to see if the car was really following us. Other than not using turn signals, every move I made was legal.

 

When I did stop at the restaurant, the car pulled in and parked to our right. He got out and approached my W's side and window - waving his arms and saying something we could not hear.

 

He is being served in with the TPO papers today. He will get his chance to say something in court.

 

The thing is, if he really wanted to tell me something, he has 3 different phone numbers to me. He also has 3 email addresses to where he can write me. Obviously this is not what he wants.

 

My W called 911 AFTER we stopped he approached our car and then continued to follow us as we left that place.

 

This idiot has threatened bodily harm to my W and to me in several emails, all of which I still have. THAT is why we called 911. We wanted the safety the cops would provide and, most of all, we wanted a "legal" witness. You can claim stalking or harassment all you want, but you need to be able to prove it if you want to do something about it.

 

As for my W, she even told the cops, "if he had wanted to contact me he has phone numbers and I not heard from him since, when was it......?" "Last May", I added.

 

If he had something to tell me, he has had every opportunity do so.

 

I sent him 1 email in August, he answered it and responded to it. He answered that one. Those are the only two emails I have ever sent that nut.

 

It is to the point that my W is shopping for a small handgun to carry. We have quite a few large handguns, they don't fit in her purse. She is afraid that he will show up again and try something more criminal.

[NotCamelot]

Tell your wife you're curious as to what he needs to say and that you've decided to let him have that opportunity at the upcoming court date.

 

Actually, what she said to the police last Wednesday was, if he has anything to say to us, he can say it in front of a judge.

[BetrayedH]

For what it's worth, I see nothing wrong at all with your actions on that particular day. In fact, I would say, well done.

 

If I were to have any (20/20 hindsight) regret it would just be wanting to know what he had to say. In that regard, you can't be contacting him; he's not contacting you; perhaps something will come out in court (I would ask if the opportunity presents itself). Nothing to do but wait and see.

 

Good luck with it all.

[Ellin]

hmmm.....

 

I did go through the light making a right turn. All actions in driving, up until we stopped the first time, was to see if the car was really following us. Other than not using turn signals, every move I made was legal.

 

When I did stop at the restaurant, the car pulled in and parked to our right. He got out and approached my W's side and window - waving his arms and saying something we could not hear.

 

He is being served in with the TPO papers today. He will get his chance to say something in court.

 

The thing is, if he really wanted to tell me something, he has 3 different phone numbers to me. He also has 3 email addresses to where he can write me. Obviously this is not what he wants.

 

My W called 911 AFTER we stopped he approached our car and then continued to follow us as we left that place.

 

This idiot has threatened bodily harm to my W and to me in several emails, all of which I still have. THAT is why we called 911. We wanted the safety the cops would provide and, most of all, we wanted a "legal" witness. You can claim stalking or harassment all you want, but you need to be able to prove it if you want to do something about it.

 

As for my W, she even told the cops, "if he had wanted to contact me he has phone numbers and I not heard from him since, when was it......?" "Last May", I added.

 

If he had something to tell me, he has had every opportunity do so.

 

I sent him 1 email in August, he answered it and responded to it. He answered that one. Those are the only two emails I have ever sent that nut.

 

It is to the point that my W is shopping for a small handgun to carry. We have quite a few large handguns, they don't fit in her purse. She is afraid that he will show up again and try something more criminal.

Ok, so he did threaten you at some point in the past - now it all makes more sense. And since he has other avenues open to contact you, I don't think he had anything significantly new to say.

 

The good thing is it has brought you and your W closer. Good luck for the future.

[Ninja'sHusband]

OP, you keep thinking that this guy has nothing more to tell you just because you already talked (or emailed) about the affair with him back in August.

 

Why is it so impossible for you to consider that maybe what he wanted to talk to you about was something that's happened much more recently?

 

I had this problem with my thread last year...people kept making up crazy stuff based on incomplete information. I had my own suspicions reading NC's post originally but held them back because he seemed to have reached such a peaceful point. Especially now that he's explained further I see no reason to keep dogging him, trying to destroy the peace of mind he came here to celebrate. He knows his situation better than we ever will. There has to be some kind of credit given to him for being the one actually living his story!

 

Again, NC. Congrats on your peace of mind. I think it's awesome. I wish your family a bright future. Some of us should make it to the other side.

[Snowflower]

I had this problem with my thread last year...people kept making up crazy stuff based on incomplete information. I had my own suspicions reading NC's post originally but held them back because he seemed to have reached such a peaceful point. Especially now that he's explained further I see no reason to keep dogging him, trying to destroy the peace of mind he came here to celebrate. He knows his situation better than we ever will. There has to be some kind of credit given to him for being the one actually living his story!

 

Again, NC. Congrats on your peace of mind. I think it's awesome. I wish your family a bright future. Some of us should make it to the other side.

 

I agree with you and dealt with the same things in my early threads/posts back in 2009. Some of what is posted is food for thought, and well...some of it is utter garbage from people who wish they had found out the truth in their own situation.

 

My only caveat to the OP is that there seems to be a whole lot of drama in his life which was caused by his wife's choices, like what he describes in this thread. This isn't fair to NC nor did he ask for any of this.

 

I encourage NotCamelot to think about this impact on his life and make sure that it is something that he wants to live with for an indefinite amount of time.

 

Not Camelot, your choices as to what you will accept in your life NOW are completely within your control, unlike during your wife's affair when you had no idea...just that something was really wrong.

 

If this drama becomes too stressful for you or adversely affects your peace of mind, it is time to reevaluate.

 

Good luck to you.

[NotCamelot]

OP, you keep thinking that this guy has nothing more to tell you just because you already talked (or emailed) about the affair with him back in August.

 

Why is it so impossible for you to consider that maybe what he wanted to talk to you about was something that's happened much more recently?

 

The thing is, he has had plenty of opportunity to talk to me the RIGHT way. But he has not even attempted.

 

Someone that has harmless intentions does not lie in wait, stalking and following, in order to have a conversation.

 

Remember the scum has 3 phone numbers and 3 email addresses. He CHOSE NOT to use any of those and did the aforementioned.

 

Now, I ask you, when it is so easy to get in touch with me to talk, why would someone act in that way if he were not up to something sinister?