Ya'll aint gonna believe this...

[NotCamelot]

 

Again, NC. Congrats on your peace of mind. I think it's awesome. I wish your family a bright future. Some of us should make it to the other side.

 

Thank you!

[NotCamelot]

You and/or your wife have never blocked this "threat" from those avenues of communication?

 

No. We talked about doing that months ago. I blocked one of my email addresses for a day, but removed the block the next day. With the threats, we thought it best that we "know" about them so that we could be aware enough to expect something.

 

However, last Wednesday's action were not expected. The last email he sent to me was last September.

[whichwayisup]

It is to the point that my W is shopping for a small handgun to carry. We have quite a few large handguns, they don't fit in her purse. She is afraid that he will show up again and try something more criminal.

Get her to carry mace instead. And to call 911 immediately! Not gonna have a gun discussion on your thread here but really REALLY get her to think about this before buying a gun. (I'm Canadian, just fyi)..

 

She's feeling threatened enough to buy a gun, then this guy better be served his RO and stay away. Hopefully the courts will have him assessed as well.

[NotCamelot]

We already own a about a dozen handguns.....just don't have carry permit. Can have in car...considered extension of home. But for a woman to have in her purse she must have a concealed weapon permit.

 

So, no gun shopping. Already got them.

[Ninja'sHusband]

If I recall, all the "crazy stuff" we were saying was pretty much spot on.

 

The folks on this board can usually tell when a couple is in false reconciliation long before the BS figures it out.

 

Loads of rug sweeping by the BS and a WS who laps up all the pats on the back from the BS to the WS for "trying" so hard.

 

Sorry to thread jack, but my daughter is my child, no doubts. My wife certainly didn't cheat while she was visiting her sister out of state the weekend I started my thread, the very thought is ridiculous...noone to cheat with, and under her sister's eye with my daughter tagging along. Me in phone contact the whole time, hearing the family in the background.

 

Claiming my ex gave this guy a bj 8 years ago. I'm not even going to go into explanations, but I'm 100% certain that didn't happen.

 

Claiming my ex would have gone to OM to prepare for me telling his wife, didn't happen. Claiming she'd be outraged that I told OMW (she was actually kinda relieved)

 

Saying my ex wanted to runaway with the OM when I had logs of private messages between them saying completely the opposite... Saying that they were still involved, they weren't. Even most of your ideas about what the MA was was completely off. It was no contact, no sparring...and they were almost never in class together post DDay (only 2 different days, both of which I was there for) It goes on and on and on. Alice you were one of the people I eventually had to put on ignore(#2 spot, #1 spot was by far the worst person) because reading/scrolling through the extremely off base\angry posts was just a waste of my time. FYI my ignore list only has 1 person on it now, and I rarely see them pop up anymore (a WS who never posted on my thread).

 

You were right it was a false reconciliation, but I was going to try my hardest before I gave up and I wouldn't change any of what I did w/regards to that. I knew perfectly well it had a very good chance of all ending in flames(said it often) and people screaming at me telling me I was in denial was completely unhelpful, frustrating, and waste of both of our time. I was not in denial, I was trying to save my family.

 

Just_A_Poster I wasn't necessarily aiming directly at you but more at the group in general...but you were pushing, still implying he was going to tell NC they had been cheating more recently. Which may or may not be true, but I would let NC be the judge of that.

Edited January 29, 2013 by Ninja'sHusband

[NotCamelot]

Well, I can assure you that nothing is going on. That I am certain of. I do know that guy is a lunatic.

 

I got a phone call from the Sheriff's office yesterday. They served him with both of the TPO's at 5:40PM. So he has to answer to both of them in 3 weeks. He will have the opportunity to talk to the judge that day to explain the stalking.

 

And I really don't care what he has to say. My W is so over-the-top committed to me that it is almost smothering.....but I like it. I don't have to eplain, but I know things are good.

 

We BOTH want this idiot to stay away, stay in the past, and not to contact or interfere with us ever.

 

So, while I WILL remain vigilant and ever watchful, I am not afraid of my W's intent anymore.

[NotCamelot]

 

I'm glad to hear that things between you are your wife are going well....keep it up

 

Thank you!

[road]

Well, I can assure you that nothing is going on. That I am certain of. I do know that guy is a lunatic.

 

I got a phone call from the Sheriff's office yesterday. They served him with both of the TPO's at 5:40PM. So he has to answer to both of them in 3 weeks. He will have the opportunity to talk to the judge that day to explain the stalking.

 

And I really don't care what he has to say. My W is so over-the-top committed to me that it is almost smothering.....but I like it. I don't have to eplain, but I know things are good.

 

We BOTH want this idiot to stay away, stay in the past, and not to contact or interfere with us ever.

 

So, while I WILL remain vigilant and ever watchful, I am not afraid of my W's intent anymore.

 

 

Would you feel that way if you knew that your WW only told you half about her affair and the OM wanted to tell you the rest?

[NotCamelot]

Would you feel that way if you knew that your WW only told you half about her affair and the OM wanted to tell you the rest?

 

His story matched hers 100%. The two stories were heard by me in a timeframe where they could not have planned it. The story he told his wife was also the same.

 

He gave me a little extra info that I did not ask for such as: name of hotel, where they met for lunch. Although I knew and she admitted this things upfront, I never asked for names of those places. Didn't really matter in the long run, even though I thought it did at the time.

 

Now, If I had not already had this talk with him back when he begged for forgiveness and offered an apology, then I would want to hear his side. BUT, I already have.

[Decorative]

His story matched hers 100%. The two stories were heard by me in a timeframe where they could not have planned it. The story he told his wife was also the same.

 

He gave me a little extra info that I did not ask for such as: name of hotel, where they met for lunch. Although I knew and she admitted this things upfront, I never asked for names of those places. Didn't really matter in the long run, even though I thought it did at the time.

 

Now, If I had not already had this talk with him back when he begged for forgiveness and offered an apology, then I would want to hear his side. BUT, I already have.

 

Just be careful.

 

That's the bottom line of what people are telling you.

 

Trust but verify.

[NotCamelot]

Just be careful.

 

That's the bottom line of what people are telling you.

 

Trust but verify.

 

Don't worry, I am - and I will for quite a while.

 

I bet everyone of us said, at some past point, it would never happen to us or to our marraige. So, I am fully well aware of what can happen.

 

Ever watchful, I will remain.

[Ellin]

 

Remember the scum has 3 phone numbers and 3 email addresses.

Maybe he lost them?

[BetrayedH]

His story matched hers 100%. The two stories were heard by me in a timeframe where they could not have planned it. The story he told his wife was also the same.

 

He gave me a little extra info that I did not ask for such as: name of hotel, where they met for lunch. Although I knew and she admitted this things upfront, I never asked for names of those places. Didn't really matter in the long run, even though I thought it did at the time.

 

Now, If I had not already had this talk with him back when he begged for forgiveness and offered an apology, then I would want to hear his side. BUT, I already have.

 

Just bear in mind that what you heard then could have been a collaborated story. And while your wife may be done with him, she may not want him telling you the rest of the story. I never would have caught my wife breaking NC without being hypervigilant. And I never would have found her blog. And she was the same super duper remorseful wife with a sad face that you're seeing in your wife. It IS possible, my friend. He most certainly could say something that would make a difference to you. If you find out that your wife has been a big fat liar about what happened, you might even toss her out and burn the couch.

 

My personal hope is that he's just putting on a big show for his wife. He's showing her how much effort he is making to rid himself of your wife (that probably relentlessly pursued him) and you (the crazy husband that keeps sending emails). He probably wants to make a big show out of his efforts to tell you to leave him alone. Poor victim.

[NotCamelot]

They would have had to plan the story during the A incase they were to be found out -- "if he catches us here is what we are gong to say"........ I don't think that was planned as they did not plan to get caught. There was no opportunity to collaborate as I got the stories the same morning.......and so did his wife.

 

Still.....if he wanted to talk to he has a lot of ways to do it.... he knows he can call my work number if he has lost everything else. He has 2 friends and one relative that work with me so he knows how to get in touch.

 

And.....you don't lie in wait, stalking, and when you approach someone's car and they leave because of it, .....you don't continue to follow until cops intervene.....IF THERE IS NO MALICIOUS INTENT.

 

There had to be something more sinister on his feeble mind. You don't act in that way just to talk to someone.

 

I appreciate all advice. I do. That's the reason I'm at LS. Otherwise I'd keep it to myself.

Edited January 31, 2013 by NotCamelot

[NotCamelot]

Wait, what?....you are saying the OM actually threatened both you and your spouse with an email trail multiple times last year and yet neither of you ever went to the police or got a lawyer or did anything else about it until this latest incident???

 

It actually sounds like you STILL wouldn't have done anything about it, even though this guy was stalking you, it was your WIFE who finally called the police.

 

Also it's crazy if you know someone is following you that you would have actually gotten out of the car. As soon as he got out of his car and approached your car you should have locked it up and just driven away and THEN called police.

 

It actually sounds like you are such a passive and fatalistic individual that you are waiting for this guy to hunt you down and seriously beat you down so you can be a martyr and your wife will be so sorry for what she did.

 

Well, obviously you don't have all the details...at all.

 

Have not gotten an email since September 7th ... last year...after I threated legal action if I heard any more from him.

 

I did not get out of my car and neither did my wife.....doors always locked all the time even when car is vacant.

 

As soon as we saw him get out and approach, I put car in reverse as my wife was saying "Let's go."

 

As soon as we left and we saw him continue to follow us, I handed her my phone to call 911. I was driving and did not want to be trying to drive in city traffic while talking......all the while not knowing what kind of moves the cops may tell me to take.

 

And, I have no fear of this assclown, and don't think he is a match for me in size or strength. Unless he had a weapon....but then, I carry as well.

 

So, you got it all wrong.

[NotCamelot]

I think it's safe to assume that a man who f*cks your wife behind your back can be construed as having a generally malicious intent w/o waiting for him to stalk you and perhaps kill you--oh yes especially when you add in the multiple threatening emails he sent you and your wife last year. And of course he's rumored to be a convicted felon.

 

As far as whether or not your wife and him could have cooked up any number of different stories and contingency plans behind your back at any time unknown to you....DUH, they were F*CKING behind your back, so I GUESS they could have been communicating behind your back too.

 

"No opportunity to collaborate"???

 

Maybe you're just not paying attention?

 

She has not heard from the clown since last May. I have not heard from him since last September. I have heard from his wife.....but that was 3 months ago.

 

To create a story to cover last week, it would have to have been made up before the A was discovered as I got matching stories from both of them withing minutes of each other on the morning of D-Day. I called him, hung up and called her. Same story on both calls.....with details.

 

You are really turning this into much more than what it is.

[NotCamelot]

....or, OM approaches them "just to talk"....Mr. Camelot goes into a psychotic rage and starts attacking Mrs. Camelot.....gun comes out of purse, Mr. Camelot is fatally shot in self defense--OM is the witness--and the widow and OM live happily ever after on the life insurance proceeds....

 

Mr. Camelot have you checked on whether your wife has taken out any life insurance on you recently?

 

This woman would never do that.....even to an enemy. She won't even pour salt on a slug.....because she will cry if the thing is hurt.

 

This is really too much!

 

The gun for her was my idea......has been for years....she felt she never needed one, even with the threatening email......after the stalking, she agreed.

 

Wow, what an imagination you have......Lifetime movie fan????

[NotCamelot]

I think it's safe to assume that a man who f*cks your wife behind your back can be construed as having a generally malicious intent w/o waiting for him to stalk you and perhaps kill you--oh yes especially when you add in the multiple threatening emails he sent you and your wife last year. And of course he's rumored to be a convicted felon.

 

I think it would be best if you read a lot of threads on LS. The affair partner, in almost all cases, never has a concern of any kind for the OP. They usually never enter into an affair with the intent to hurt that person's spouse. They are only concerned with their own selfish wants.

 

Where did that come from?