Love sick

[lovesick8911]

First post, and this is really long, so please bare with me.

 

Met a girl last year at an open mic that me and my friends used play at. She had just broke up with this guy and I moved in on her. She gave me her number when I asked and we talked. We eventually went out on a date and I took her to out to eat. The eager beaver I was, I tried to kiss her at the end and she just gave me a hug. About a week later I sent her a text that I liked her more than friends and asked her to be up front with me. She said she didn't feel it more than a friendly way and that was that.

 

I quit contacting her until around October when I said I liked her too much to not be her friend. She said she liked me too and wanted to stay friends. I then asked her too meet up at a bar to hang out and she obliged. She then would ask me to hang out with her and her friends.

 

Come December, she posted on Facebook that her roommate had her credit card and needed money to get home for Christmas. I sent her a message asking when she needed it, but she said she found a gas card and said thanks.

 

She then text me on Christmas Eve. We text for awhile and that was that. Then a few days after Christmas she said she had a gift card and asked if me and my friend wanted to go to the bar sometime and I said sure.

 

A week later my friend was in a bad car wreck and I asked if she would meet me at the bar and talke about it. She said sure. We hung out for three hours talking and playing pool. At the end of the night, I asked her if there was ever a chance we would date again. She said, "I'm not ruling that out, but right now we are just friends." She then told me I was a great guy and that she was a loner.

 

I was okay with that. A week later i asked her if she wanted to go to the movies since my dad got free movie tickets. She said sure, and we went and saw Les Mis. We went strictly as friends and nothing happened.

 

About two weeks later I asked her when we were going to the bar that she had the gift card to. She said she didn't know, but maybe Sunday because she worked all day Friday and Saturday. I texted her on Thursday to ask when/

 

I then texted her on Sunday and said the bar was probably closed but I was going to another one, if she wanted to come and play some pool with me and have a drink. She said she probably would.

 

So this past Sunday we hung out from 10-3 in the morning. She invited her female friend along, which she was mostly a wallflower anyway, and we talked and had fun. I bought her drinks and flirted a little bit. This other guy that she new came over and talked to her while I was getting drinks, but then when I came back he said, "this is the guy you were talking about?" She then was getting excited about her Birthday and was excited about a movie that comes out the day before her Birthday, which is on Valentine's Day. I said, "You want me to take you for your Birthday." She said, "Yes!" She also wanted to play a video game we were talking about.

 

Long story short,(not that it matters now), I'm in love with her and I can't quit thinking about her everyday. It's affecting my sleep and my eating. I've only told her I like her more than a friend. But I've never told her I love her. She backs off almost after every time we hang out. I almost just want to say, "I love you, but I have to move on with my life" I can't keep doing this.

 

So should I just tell her I love her and say I have to move on, because it's too much to bare? I don't text her everyday, though I did text her today to see if she wanted to play PlayStation after she got off work, but she said she couldn't today because she has errands.

 

I need help! I don't know what to do! I want to cut ties with her, but every time I hang out with her my love grows fonder.

 

Can any of you relationship gurus help me, please!?

[picaso28]

Hi mate, feel your pain. I am sort of in a similar situation, wouldn't say I love her but think about her everyday, started having dreams about her, sad if she doesn't txt etc.... anyway it is a difficult one as it sounds to me she enjoys your friendship and maybe the fact she knows you like her. The girl I like knocked me back around 6 months ago. So the tactic I took was to back off a lot and not give her any attention. I remained friendly if we spoke or txt but I wouldn't call her or start conversations.. now recently she has started showing signs she likes me....I think!! Her attitude towards me has definitely changed anyhow. So my friend if I were you I would back off from her...make her crave the attention and see if her feelings grow. If they don't then its prob for the best because as long as you stay friends with her wanting more you are torturing yourself. I am going to ask her out again but if its still a no that's it end off. So in short back off from her and see if she starts growing towards you, if signs are there give her one more chance.

[lovesick8911]

Thanks for your response. I want to back off, but it kills me the longer I'm away from her. I'm just torturing myself. I think I'm just going to tell her up front. Because if I don't, I'm just waiting my life for a girl who doesn't even like me in a romantic way.

[Sex_Panther]

I am in the exact same situation your in. I used to be like you where I was sad when I couldnt talk to my female friend. I felt like I loved her and I knew we should be together and I knew she was the one and nobody else mattered to me. Other girls could throw themselves at me and I would not bite. However, I am going to give you a little advice here and save you some of the hassle I have gone through. First of all, as painful as it sounds, take some space. If she asks you whats up, just say your busy with work or family issues. Dont tell her your taking space because you like her too much. I made the mistake of not once, not twice, but three times in a row telling this girl I like how much I like her and guess what? It turned her off, she closed up on me and we arent the same. I am working on her, we kinda opened up tonight, but things have definitely changed. I can honestly say the space I took from this girl helped me to take a step back and stop being so damn clingy. You have to realize to yourself you dont need this girl, you are the man and build some confidence. Realize if its meant to be, it will happen. Just be her friend and keep those feelings at bay. I am doing the exact same thing, keeping my feelings at bay and trying to be her friend with no expectation of anything more then a close friendship. If you start spilling your feelings and how you want to cut ties you will just creep her the **** out and turn off any little attraction she may have for you.

[picaso28]

Sex panther is spot on.....I did that and if anything she has started to contact me wanting to talk and hang out more than she ever did in the past. As for telling her how you feel its a big no for the time being.I totally get how you must feel and when I did it it was a weight lifted from me however...I asked the girl I like out on a date which she rejected and it made her totally turn cold on me. However by not contacting her or chasing her I think it has attracted her to me a little....I would try doing the same. Then and only then should you make it clear about your feelings. People want what they cannot have so try this tactic

[lovesick8911]

I just told her I couldn't keep buying her drinks and taking her to the movies in hope that she changes her mind. She said she understood and that she wanted to like me more than a friend but just couldn't feel it. She said I was a great guy. I didn't tell her I loved her, I just told her I've always liked her more than a friend. She said she was sorry and still wanted to talk to me and see me once in awhile. I had to cut ties. I was wasting my life away and I don't have time to just wait for one chick. So thank y'all for the advice, but I'm better off without her.

[picaso28]

Well done for having the guts to do it. Think you did the right thing and although it wasn't the response you wanted from her I bet it sort of seems like a weight lifted? That's how I felt the last time I got knocked back by the girl I like. Stay strong mate and don't contact her no matter how much you want to.

[lovesick8911]

Thanks, Picaso. I'm going to try. And yes, it's a huge burden lifted off of me. It's weird too, because this is like the third time I've said something like this. And as soon as I do, she starts liking pictures and statuses on my facebook. Anyway, good luck to ya!