SweeterGirl Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Does anyone else have a problem with Jealousy? Be it, the man looking on the internet at porno, or playboy, or strip clubs with his single or married friends? or ex-girlfriends who are still like best friends to him? I would like to know how other people cope with this? I know my boyfriend would never cheat because of situations he has been in, but this is something I've always had, the jealousy of the unknown women....let me know. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Touch_of_Naughtiness Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 I am not a jealous person. It has to take a lot for me to get jealous. Most of my friends always get mad when their bf or husbands go to a strip club, to me it does not seem like a big issue, in the end he comes home to you, right? Unless it's a legitimate reason to get jealous I tend not to over do it. Jealousy has to do a lot with your self-esteem, if you are sure about yourself then you tend to not worry as much. Link to post Share on other sites
relention Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 I have a huge problem with jealousy, and my partner has done nothing wrong, i find it really unfair on him but i can help how i feel. im as bad as him looking at women, speaking to them, anything, it makes me feel uncomfortable, i feel they are always a threat cause they are so much better than me, so much nicer, so much prettier, even if my boyfriend tells me otherwards. I know he wouldnt cheat on me but i still always feel like this and its tearing my up inside, and its really upsetting him as its coming through as a trust issue, although i feel its a self esteem/anxiety one. I really need help with this and ive been trying to find some online. Im not good to talk to people face to face or on the phone about problems. If anyone has any goos sites or advice id appreciate it. I have recently got a hyponosis tune on overcoming jealousy but it just makes me think of it alot. Does anyone know any good self esteem websites for free? I see so many want money... Thanks, and sorry for going on Link to post Share on other sites
fatty Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 WOW! Finally someone who feels exactly like me. I have a huge problem with jealousy, and my partner has done nothing wrong, i find it really unfair on him but i can help how i feel. im as bad as him looking at women, speaking to them, anything, it makes me feel uncomfortable, i feel they are always a threat cause they are so much better than me, so much nicer, so much prettier, even if my boyfriend tells me otherwards. I know he wouldnt cheat on me but i still always feel like this and its tearing my up inside, and its really upsetting him as its coming through as a trust issue, although i feel its a self esteem/anxiety one. I really need help with this and ive been trying to find some online. Im not good to talk to people face to face or on the phone about problems. If anyone has any goos sites or advice id appreciate it. I have recently got a hyponosis tune on overcoming jealousy but it just makes me think of it alot. Does anyone know any good self esteem websites for free? I see so many want money... Thanks, and sorry for going on I thought i was the only one, I feel the same way with my girlfreind. My insecurities are caused of my low self esteem and are causing my relationship to fall. Any one have any good places to get help with this. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
flyhigh Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 i get jealous in this way and can't stand it at times. My bf doesn't know that I feel this way and I really don't want him knowing either. I view it as a weekness. Being jealous is just a insecurity that we all have to deal with even if we don't like it. We can't sit around being a big baby ...especially when our partners aren't doing anything physically wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 I dont know if it's jealousy, but i have a friend who claims to have low self esteem and lacking confidence. In the past in h.s. if i dressed casual he'd call me gay. Since i started dressing like an average joe things have been ok. Then a month ago i told him i was meeting up with an acquantance for drinks ( to catch up, nothing happened of course). Then the next day we hangout with some friends...he seemed to be silently mad at me that day. at night we head back to my place...somehow in the conversation he brought up "youre ugly". then later on we're on the topic of condoms and he says "yea condoms for you and your sister"...which was sick. I know he has issues cause he told me himself. but if he's angry about something he shouldnt be projecting it at me. Link to post Share on other sites
kscholze Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 my ex still had contact with her ex when we were together and I didn't get jelous over that. She is with him now Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 hi i have a real BIG problem with jealousy.be it by my man looking at other women in the street on the net,on tv and in magazines.i dont think theres an easy way to get over it if you have low self esteem as you will get more and more jealous(like i have)im trying to seek professional help to build my self esteem.but i still think its wrong for men to always want to look at other naked women all the time,they always use the excuse all men do it!what a load of rubbish!i told my boyfriend if most men jumped of a bridge would you do it?he said no.so i said its not a good enough excuse then! i say if men want to oogle other women all the time stay single.because my man does it and it really tears me up inside.he says he loves me!so stop hurting me then! i know people will say just because hes got with me doesnt mean hes blind but he shouldnt stare at other women like that or need to look at porn.hello im here! ive told my boyfriend and everyones going to think im a moo for this but i said stop going on the net and looking at other naked women and to stop oogling other women in the street or i dont want to be with you anymore.it is cruel i know but at the end of the day im not happy with it and dont think i ever will be.im living for me nobody else and if i cant make myself happy what is the point in living?if he doesnt like the ultimatum then hes quite free to dump me if he wants to keep looking at other women. hes weve both promised each other something!he promised hed stop doing it and i promised that id go to counselling to get more self esteem. does anyone agree with my views or is everyone going to give me the men always do it they cant stop talk? Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 oh just forgot.also i get very jelous about porn.i dont agree with it.most people would think its stupid as porn is not real.but it is real people isnt it there alive!what happened about sex being for 2 people and doing it with someone they love?i think porn just shows how people nowadays cant stay faithful.sex is supposed to be about to people in love enjoying it together.not 2 people and the rest of the porn stars out there Link to post Share on other sites
Justme888 Posted September 16, 2005 Share Posted September 16, 2005 I want to say that I am soooo jealous. I think it has to do with my insecurities, but I would love for my jealously to just disappear. Wouldn't it be great???I am sure that you are like me, that you are pretty and do not have reasons to be jealous, but it is something that is so complpetly uncontrollable. Why do guys have to look at smut and why should we excuse that behavior? It is sick and disgusting. I am destined to find that one guy that isn't affected by it or the other girl that happens to be walking by with half her chest hanging out. The one thing I know is that we should never settle! Link to post Share on other sites
jwlindacrwn Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 i feel da same way most of da time 2. i dnt wanna be jealous bt sumtymz i juz cant help it n it bugz me a hell of a lot. i knw my bf luvz me a lot bt at times i feel insecure. i dnt like it when he lookz at other galz or chatz with them. i knw they r juz his palz n he aint cheatin on me....bt there's sumthin at da back of my mind that really bugz....maybe itz bcoz of my family background. coz ive alwayz see my mum n dad fightin n tryna break up n all that crap. da thin is, i react 2 it since am kinda moody...n my bf realizes that sumthing's wrong n he keeps on askin me bt all i do is cry at that time coz i cant handle it n i dnt wanna tell him that am feelin insecure....coz he has done nuthin wrong n he treatz me lyk an angel. am nt tryin 2 flatter myself bt i think i look pretty ok, n ppl say am quite attractive, so i dunno wotz holdin me back. any advise pls. i dnt wanna mess him up juz bcoz am feelin unconfident Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Hi i think alot of people feel insecure nowadays.Theres loadsa magazines saying how we should and shouldnt look!I think the only way that your going to get throught this problem is to become more confident.Stop critisizing yourself and think more positvely.Ive tried this and for me it didnt work.It might do for you.Try buying a book on self esteem.I am going to see a counsellor soon to see if that would help.Hope it does! If your low self esteem is to do with things in your past maybe you would benefit from counselling also.Try buying a book on low self esteem first to see if that helps.If not go to your doctor and tell him how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
New gal 982 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I never got jealous about my man going out with the guys.. We were together 3 years and I trusted him 100%. That is until he starting sleeping with one of the bartenders at the club they went to Link to post Share on other sites
sexiibabee Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 the whole jealousy thing is hard. i've been told i'm super attractive, charming, sweet, any man's desire...but thats the thing, theres only one man i want. so being jealous is not sumthin i have ever done with past boyfriends, but this is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with. any little thing affects me, such as the looking at other women. it's natural for anyone to admire beautiful things. it really bugs us when we know we dont do it so why should they?? instead of really trying to put them down and say we dont like it (men dont like feeling like they are being told no, especially by a woman) we should communicate and really tell them how we feel and that if there is something that bugs us they need to tell us how to approach them about it. when we do things our way to get results we get nothing. but if we do things their way to get our results, we may get sumwhere. i'm learning to feel more confident around my boyfriend even though i'm not. for example, by accepting that sumone looks good, rather than putting them down. then setting that topic aside. take each day at a time and let go of unnecessary garbage. men like the overpowering confidence that most women in the entertainment business overly expose. they want a woman who feels great. i myself am attempting to look great as much as i can, and make my boyfriend feel like there's nothing else bigger than him. any woman can have that confidence and great self-esteem that every man desires, we just need to really look for it from within, and it needs to be real because it truly shows. hope everyone feels better!! much love. ~natalya Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 2, 2005 Share Posted October 2, 2005 Thats the thing though because my boyfriend drools over the likes of britney spears i feel so unattractive.She looks really nice i could never look like that.My boyfriend always says your better than britney spears.Yea right so why dont you drool over me like you do her then lol.Do men say that to make you feel better cos it dont lol Link to post Share on other sites
sexiibabee Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 grrrr. my boyfriend does that too. but really think about it..they KNOW we're better cuz they can't have them. and they would never get what they want in a woman from a fantasy person. that's all it is, just fantasy. i'm trying to realize that we actually are better because we're right for our men, rather than saying o i wish i looked like her. try to see why it is that your man oogles at these women. i just answered my own question--its the physical. i wish there were a way to redirect men away from the physical attraction but it's a part of men. my boyfriend never looked at other women until recently and i blew up on him about it with the "if you love me why even look!!" but when i really thought about it calmly and honestly, it was my own fault for distancing myself and i live with him!! meaning i was spending more time doing other things like being on the computer rather than being with him just to be there to assure him that i'm there. it's a hard topic because some women accept that men look at other people as long as they're not cheating and others don't like it at all. i'm one of those that it hurts my feelings and makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong. it goes back to the whole confidence thing. once a man sees you're more confident than anyone, he doesn't even care to look at other women. so it's hard. keep your head up!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted October 3, 2005 Share Posted October 3, 2005 Maybe its because of me hes even looking in the first place.I dont Feel very confident and maybe thats my mistake.I just cant find it in me to be confident.But because he looks at other women i get worse its like a vicious circle.I always compare myself to others when i shouldnt really but its hard because once i was trying to talk to my boyfriend and he didnt aknowledge me because he was too bust staring at a womans arse!Makes me feel invisible! Link to post Share on other sites
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