I Just Don't Know What I'm Doing Anymore

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

My life since I left Uni has been in complete disarray. I haven't gotten anywhere in my career, not even my foot in the door yet. I'm living with my gf's parents while working full time in a f*cking bar. Every chance I've had, I feel I've been unable to take. The very high possibility is that I have a learning disorder like ADD because I can't focus, I can't concentrate and then I get angry at myself for throwing away chances. I also can't motivate myself. I want this so much but when someone throws me a suggestion I dismiss it because it sounds too complicated and I haven't fully grasped what I'd need to do.

 

This is it, this is all my life is going to be. My world will not be any bigger than this, my job will pay me just enough to continue living and no more. How can I ever have kids if I can't even afford my own place? How can I find a career when I'm hopelessly lost and, ultimately, inept? I failed everything in school and have no real talent beyond the slight ability to write creatively.

 

I've completely failed at life...