Steadfast Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 "You know that I would do whatever it takes to fix our problems, but I know that's not what you want anymore." You are lying to yourself Mike. You'll divorce her regardless? You just wrote that you'd 'do whatever it takes' to fix it. This is the old push and pull; part guilt, part manipulation and a heavy dose of condescension. Not wise. You say you've learned a lot. You haven't learned enough. You write your wife is a schemer, but you're laying out the bait if you send this email. Send it or don't send it, either way she knows you're desperate. Things will only improve for you when you are not desperate Mike. Only then. Until you realize that there's nothing wrong with loving someone who doesn't love you, you'll be stuck in this place. Just because we let go doesn't mean we don't care. The obvious? We simply have no choice. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 totally agree with steadfast on this mike, either mean what you say and go through with it in actions or say nothing at all you have a way of saving yourself and it`s being the total opposite of what you are doing now stead was right but in 1 respect we/you/anyone HAS a choice you can either do what you are doing or... well thats up to you nothing is final in life aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 (edited) Over the past month nothing has changed between my wife and I. Her main focus is the divorce now. I've been contacting divorce attorneys all day to check my options, and I recalled that I first met my wife four years ago today. I was thinking of sending this email to my wife since she acts mostly on emotion and focuses on emotional events: "Hi mrs.mike, It's hard to believe that four years ago tonight you popped out your front door and said "let's go", which led to what I thought was the love of both our lives. I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday. And now I'm filling out divorce papers. You know that I would do whatever it takes to fix our problems, but I know that's not what you want anymore. I learned a lot about myself from our relationship and what I needed to do to improve and be happy with myself. Thank you for that. I hope you find the happiness you're looking for. Take care, mr.mike" What do you think? Is there any upside to a farewell message like this? Regardless I still plan on going through with the divorce. no there is no upside from anything you have put well tell; a lie! there is an upside... but only from her resolution not yours you can put whatever you want in a `dear john` letter but unless you really mean it then there is no point and you dont mean it so dont send it aM Edited July 4, 2013 by aMguilts Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr.mike Posted July 4, 2013 Author Share Posted July 4, 2013 It looks like I had a bit too much to drink when I wrote that letter and posted it. I agree that it's manipulative and desperate. The rush of emotion has passed. I won't be sending it. Link to post Share on other sites
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