honsda28 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Hi all, I have known my boyfriend/fiance for about four years and have been dating very seriously for the last year or so. Over the last four months or so, he has brought up getting married on more than one occasion. To make a long story short, he brought it up/asked again this past weekend and I just joked saying that I didn't think he was serious and he shouldn't bring it up if he's joking. After a night of dinner and hanging out with our friends, he brought it up again and presented me with an engagement ring. So, here is the issue. Actually, my boyfriend/fiance had been engaged before. I became friends with him years ago as the relationship was breaking up. From his stories, as well as the stories of his friends, as well as my own observations, the relationship was extremely unhappy but he purposed to her in hopes that it would help the relationship and make her happier. They have been broken up for three years now, and we have been in a serious, exclusive relationship for the last year. Anyway, the ring that he presented me with was the same engagement ring. Initially, I was sort of ticked off. I tried it on anyway and it fits perfectly. It's beautiful and exactly what I have always wanted. He gave me the line that he bought it for the woman he would marry, not necessarily the ex, and that he gave it to her to appease her and wanted me to have because he wanted me to be his wife, etc. It's a nice line, but he knows how to think on his feet! Anyway, I have been wearing the ring for the last few days. I absolutely love the ring and it's gorgeous. However, part of me can't shake that it was originally on another girl's finger and meant for someone else. Do I give it back and ask him to do something different to the ring anyway (even though it is exactly what I want and fits perfectly)? It seems wasteful almost to me to take the money to "re-do" or reset the ring when it fits...even the band on the ring is perfect to me. Should I just suck it up and appreciate it as a token of his affection because it's what he feels that counts and not a stupid ring? Any opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I personally would never wear another womans engagement ring. If you feel uncomfortable then my advice would be to thank him for the ring, but that you request that he get you another ring (not even reset) that is only for you. I think it was innapropriate to give you the ring in the first place and that he should have bought you your own ring. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KraftDinner Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I couldn't wear another woman's engagement ring either. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Wow.... That was so thoughtless on his part. It's insulting and the whole 'oh the ring is for the woman I would marry not really the ex' is a load of crap. eewww...I can't believe he even tried that. I would NEVER say yes to a ring that was meant for someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 You have a similar taste in rings? If she picked the ring, maybe I'd feel a little funny, but if it's what you love and he bought it for his future wife... I think I could live with it. But I'd be looking for something fancy/unusual as a wedding ring to go with it, so you feel your stamp is on the rings as well as his, if you see what I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
It's Just Me Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Having to wear someone else's engagement ring would bug the hell out of me. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I'm not sure which is worse? The guy giving a previous intended ring? Or the girl posting the scenario on the internet vs. discussing how she feels with him? I wouldn't marry either of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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