I feel like I'm procrastinating CONSTANTLY

[lovesickpuppy]

I'm 20 years old and a flight attendant, right now I've got another month off work (I've had 4 months off in total due to my contract ending and then being renewed.) before I go back so as it stands I have no money and all I do is sit around the house, sleeping through the day and staying awake through the hours of the night. I don't mind any of this but recently, I've started thinking about the stuff I want to do, I want to go travelling, I want to learn another language, I want to emigrate to America and work on the stock market, I want to read more, I want to do so much god damn stuff yet..I can't bring myself to do any of it, I keep thinking, well, once I have money I'll start doing this or that or this but it all seems so daunting. I keep doubting myself, I keep thinking, well I'm just a dumb flight attendant, how on earth will I get a visa to live in America, it's basically impossible, let alone work on the stock market. I feel depressed, I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to, that I'm in the wrong job and that I'm totally messed up and need so much encouragement! I just feel so alone at the moment and so ambitious yet no knowledge of how to get to exactly where I want to be. I feel like my life is flying before my eyes and I don't know how to get to the places I so badly want to be! Has anyone else felt like this? If so, does anyone have any advice or words of encouragement? Thank you. :(

[Scarlett5]

I have felt a lot like you do throughout my twenties...and I too worked as a flight attendant when I was a year or so older than you.

 

Now being 27, I have learned that quite often when we think about the kind of life we want for ourselves, all we see is the end goal and so it's overwhelming. We (or certainly I) can be impatient and can want it all to happen overnight. When really, we must take small steps to get where we want to be. We learn a lot about ourselves along the way & we might even change our direction, which adds excitement.

 

You will feel much better doing regular exercise and with a regular sleeping pattern & healthy diet. Can you also not get a part time or temporary job in between seasons? And maybe find a hobby? I tend to over think things with too much time on my hands. And the danger of that is that we can build situations up to be much bigger than they are, which can confuse us and put us off taking action.

 

The little steps are part of your life journey....it's not just the end goal that counts.

[ohnoo]

The worst thing you can do is to doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself, everyone will too.

 

I second what Scarlett5 said, the key is to set small goals that will lead to your big goal...and don't think of it as this huge impossible goal, it will only intimidate you. If you take small steps towards it, you'll find that it's not really that difficult to achieve.

But first you need passion and determination to do it. In other words, move your ass.

 

I wasted 4 years of my life taking a college course that wasn't meant for me. That was a stupid mistake but since I know what I wanted to do, I get to it and found myself on jobs that I wanted. I'm an artist who DIDN'T had any art lessons but because I wanted to do art, I did it. I was an artist at an advertising art studio, worked in games, I was in books and magazines, and now I'm doing character designs for an animated movie. All this I got because my employers said my passion shows in my works. If you work towards your goals, you'll stumble upon some people who can help you and motivate you. Mind you, this came with failures and rejections but the worst failure that you can have is to FEEL like you're a failure and doubt your capabilities.

 

Don't doubt yourself. You're only 20, you have plenty of time. Take one step at a time. Right now, you can learn a language and save money. And by next year, you can travel with that saved money. But yeah, you gotta move. There's no other way to do it. I'm also like you, lazying around, always lethargic, I have low blood pressure, bipolar, OCD, but I make sure that I do something productive everyday. Set goals this week, this month, this year. Have your own boss in your head and give yourself a task, an ultimatum and give little rewards or punishments depending on what you did. Motivate and discipline yourself. You can do it, good luck!

 

Have you seen Pursuit of Happyness? That's based on a true story.

Edited January 27, 2013 by ohnoo