Unhappy with family and home. [Long]

[Bev]

I have a hard time getting along with my family.

 

I moved out of the house when I was 16 years old and moved in with my boyfriend. When I broke up of my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years, I moved back home at 20 years old. I'm nearly 21.

 

I'm currently a full time student. I don't have the funds to move out on my own. I live in a French province, and my French speaking is poor, I'm having a hard time finding a part time job. My school hours are 8AM to 4PM making it harder to find jobs as I'd have to bus down town as well. I feel like I'm struggling and have nobody to guide me. I graduated a course that I hated, and so I'm in school again, yet I feel like I made another poor choice, and want to change next year.

 

My mother never worked her entire life, she blows off my concerns and my fears. She has a "Diva" personality, everything revolves around her, and she is very shallow. My father is the sole breadwinner in the household, and by the time he gets home from work he wants to be left alone. I have nobody to talk to, they won't listen they are too preoccupied with my brother and other aspects of their lives to notice my existence.

 

My younger brother is autistic and has ADHD. His autism only goes as far as his speech, otherwise he is completely normal. He is very difficult to live with and puts stress on my family. He is constantly breaking things in the house, and attacking people in the house. He is vindictive and is completely aware of his actions. My parents refuse to discipline him, instead, they treat him like he can't do any wrong, and let his behaviour get worse over time. (Mother babies him due to him being "autistic" despite him being completely aware of what he is capable of, and what he is doing.)

 

My mother stays home to take care of my brother when he is home from school. Because of the daily stress he gives her, when I get home, she will blow up at me, taking her stress out on me. I will literally come home just to be yelled at because she is "having a bad day, and it's reasonable."

 

My mother & I used to be very close, this passed year we cannot stay in the same room with each other for more than 10 minutes before we get into a fight.

 

I am not happy with my home life, or living environment. I desperately want to move out of this province, and I feel like I'm stuck. I've worked before, but I don't tend to stay in my jobs long. I contemplated dropping out of school to find full time work to move out, but I know id be hurting myself in the end.

 

There is so much I have to learn, and nobody to show me how. I feel like I'm on my own, and pushing myself to be more responsible has been tough. I'm falling into a depressing cycle and I don't know what to do.

[pink_sugar]

Is there a way you can work your school schedule around working hours? You may have to go part-time, do night or online classes, but there are ways of doing it. Try and hold steady in your jobs, take whatever work you can and find a room to rent once you've found a job.

 

I'm surprised you were allowed to move out on your own so young. Is the age of adulthood different there? Anyways, if you really want to get out of that situation, you can do it. I've been in school for nearly 6 years and finally getting my bachelors degree. I've been struggling with finances for quite some time also. You have to decide which is the priority, finishing up school a bit faster (which means dealing with living with your parents a bit longer) or getting out now and taking a little longer in school.

 

I moved out as soon as I was able at 18. I question whether or not it was the right decision as I am in a ton of debt and can barely pay my bills. However, I had an abusive home situation at the time. Sometimes I think staying at home may have been the better option.

Edited January 28, 2013 by pink_sugar