Kids and Divorce

[Caldespair]

I have always been very close with my 2 dughters (18 and 16). Every night we would talk hang out, help with homework, discuss current topics. Basically very close and loving to my girls.

Im in the beginig of d, 7 weeks since w decison to kick me to the curb.

I had been talking to my college girl on phone almost every day. But I kinda stoped making the calls to her, and she would normally call me. But lately Ive backed off and dont want her to: Feel obliged to speak with me. Also want to give her a break from all the drama at home.

With my 16 year old, Ive made every soccer game (fun sittng and seeing the sbxw). Shes very busy with soccer, speach - debate, boyfriend etc. I dont want to be pushy with them (im the non type A partner)

Being away from them is killing me (I know im lucky that they are older "kids")

 

Any advice or wisdom on what my position should be besides being there for them and supporting them?

[amaysngrace]

Does your 18 year old go away to school? If she does make plans with the younger one to go see her together and go have dinner all three of you if she is close enough. If she's not away then take them to dinner anyway.

 

It doesn't have to be fancy, just make sure you do it kind of early so that it doesn't mess up their plans.

[standtall]

Any advice or wisdom on what my position should be besides being there for them and supporting them?

 

 

Not much except with the addition that they are both old enough to understand things, but they are like any onther person that you know..they will probably get bored and avoid you if all you do is talk about is the play by play drama at home. Read their body English and verbal clues as to whether or not your conversation is boring them..if so, then change the subject.

[Radu]

I think you should try to keep a relationship with both of them.

If your wife threw you out at their ages, you need to remain in their lives as a positive male rolemodel, or else they might get together with very crappy guys.

More or less they are already using your model in what they want in a man, you need to continue to provide that model, to both of them but especially to your 16yr old.

 

Look up daughters dot com. It's for the relationship between fathers and daughters.

[Luckydad]

Keep doing what you're doing and always be mindful to NEVER bash their mom in front of them, no matter how deplorable she may be in your eyes. It sounds as though you are very close with them and that is just how to proceed as well. Just be there for them and try your hardest to keep any issues you have with your STBX at arms length from them.