proactivedreamer Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I think I am over the whole idea of connecting with my family. For as long as I can remember that is all I wanted, but these days not so much. I was raised in the foster care system, and I didn't really have much contact with my biological family for the span of two decades. Sure, we saw them-mostly my fathers side, but it was not often. My mother was absent for the entire duration of my childhood, and we reconnected when I was 18, but mostly maintained a relationship via phone up until 2 years when I moved to the city she'd been residing in. My mother planned a trip to LA to take care of some business for my uncle, and I had originally ask to come along because I wanted to see my foster family, and friends. Anyways, she is bringing my brothers to meet my sister who they have never met, and it was suppose to be reunion type deal. To get to the point, I suddenly had a change of heart. I can't really explain it. Part of it is because I feel that it would put a strain on me work wise, and the other part is because I don't want to hang out with them. Since I have lived up here, we never acted like a family, and that really changed something in me. I have a lot of weird feelings right now, and now my mom and sis are mad at me. My mom told me to never ask for a favor and that I am selfish. Am I that cold? I feel guilty but I don't want to be around them...I don't want to bond with them or anything. Any advice or insight is helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 Sever contact. Go your own way. If they want to get in touch, let them. Don't do any more running. And if they do stay/keep/get in touch - determine why they would do that. Is it out of love, or because they want something from you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author proactivedreamer Posted January 26, 2013 Author Share Posted January 26, 2013 It's out of love. It's not them, it's me. My mom planned a trip, and I was suppose to go, but I don't want to go anymore. I don't want to be with them for 3 days. I think something is wrong with me I have been feeling weird about my family. I feel like I just gave up on them. It's not my brothers' or sister's fault, and probably not my mom's fault. It's a broken family, and I have reconciled with that fact, but now my mom wants us all to "bond". And I don't want to anymore. Maybe I need some professional help? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Maybe you do. It's hard to fathom out deep feelings when you're the one feeling them and you're so deep you can't make out daylight. Perhaps then, you should seek some kind of support, yes. Good luck. Hope you find what you're looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
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