marriage in trouble

[dymanda]

I've been married to my husband just over two years, and things have recently started to unravel. In the 6 years we've been together we've been a pretty happy couple, we've had our ups and downs, like any relationship, but it felt like nothing ever could really penetrate our strong bond together. After getting married, things changed a bit, we felt more of an obligation to start acting like "adults", and over the past six to ten months things have just gotten awful. We're fighting all the time, and every time we do it feels like the distance between us grows and becomes more unbeatable. We talk all the time about how we need to change things, what we can do and we both feel committed to do whatever we can to try to repair the damage that's been done. But I'm starting to feel defeated, like maybe all this fighting and bickering is a way of us telling each other that we're just not going to be happy together. I feel bad for thinking that, sometimes I think I feel like the relationship is in more trouble than my husband does.

 

On top of everything, I'm going through some very painful personal stuff in therapy at the moment. As much as I would love to be able to keep the two seperate, I just can't, I need to be talk to him about what's going on and he is very supportive, he's there to listen and comfort me practically whenever I need him. But he also feels a bit stifled, which I can understand but my empathy doesn't make solve the problem.

 

I don't want to give up, to think that the relationship is in some finite state of disrepair, but I also don't know how long to wait, how much effort to put in before saying this just isn't working. We've talked about couples counseling and right now we simply can't afford it, which sounds like a lame excuse, but it's true, we're barely able to pay the bills we have. Has anybody ever had any success with books or any DIY suggestions?

[moimeme]

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