Are we corupted by movies.....Do we realise what love is when we might not be there

[Waffles]

I've been off work with a shattered leg for the last couple of months after a massive injury from playing football (or soccer to you US folks) . All i've had to do is sit around and watch dumb daytime movies and whatever films we've got in the house (my two sisters love romantic and romantic comedy's)

 

Anyway - i've had a lot of time to think whilst I've been lazing around on my backside and as i've been having problems in my relationship latley, I thought i'd post on here.

 

So, my relationship at the moment is 18 months in, up untill a few months ago, i was pretty sure I loved her, and she always tells me she loves me back. One day, I was just thinking and being that this is my first relationship, how do I know that I really am in love ? For the last 3 months this has been ruining my relationship because everytime I look at her, i think, 'if i don't love her, i'm going to really hurt her and myself at some point so i must decide'.

 

I think i have come to this conclusion after watching FILMS. In films, love goes so perfectly, as lads and ladies just fall into each others arms 9 times out of 10 and fall deeply in love with each other and live happily ever after without having to put in much effort. So here's the question:

 

Do you just fall in love - know your in love and live happily ever after (like in the movies) - OR

Do you have to work with a person and grow together, possibly falling in love at some stage - OR

Bits of both

 

My overall problem is I don't know whats in the future for me. I would like to be with this girl for ever, yet I'm scared to death of hurting her if i can't convince myself (probably wrong words) that I love her.

 

Thanks for listening to my wafflings

[moimeme]

Do you just fall in love - know your in love and live happily ever after (like in the movies) - OR

Do you have to work with a person and grow together, possibly falling in love at some stage - OR

Bits of both

 

Movies are fiction. Even documentaries scrunch entire lives into a couple of hours. Life isn't that easy and love certainly isn't that easy. The 'love at first sight' is more often infatuation than not. Sometimes it transmogrifies into love - and that's why you hear all the happy-ever-after stories about people who met and 'it was love at first sight' but there are plenty - probably many more - stories of 'love at first sight' that fizzled when the infatuation was gone. Love that lasts takes time to grow. And it takes work - being kind to one another, understanding one another, and making efforts to let your partner know you care.

 

So please don't try to live your life according to popular culture!

[Papillon]

It's true that movies paint a rosy picture of love, when it's really a growling beast frothing at the mouth.

 

Falling in love is very easy, and falling out of love is accordingly easy. But real love takes a lot of work. It's a full-time job. True love becomes a life-time job, and it's a job that you never ever get tired of, you never wake up in the mornings and groan "f*ck that damn alarm clock, another day at the office."

 

It's a joy, and you'll know it when you find it.

[dyermaker]

I notice it more about songs.

 

I think when I fell in Love I understood half of the songs I didn't understand before. Sadly, now that it could be ending, I'm beginning to understand the other half.