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My racy photos are in a present my conservative boyfriend got. ow do I handle this?


luvhim

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Well, these photos are in a book of racy photos of women that's he looking at. So he's not being any more "conservative" than you've made yourself out to be.

 

Did you really sign a release and consent to these photos of you being published, though? I hope you've learned a lesson from this and don't make that amateur mistake again.

 

LOL!

It isn't the photo's it's that she posed for them with an ex, signed a release even but wouldn't let her current BF snap a pic with his cell phone.

 

Because she "isn't that kind of girl"

She's been pretending to be someone she isn't so he'd date her.

 

How do you think this makes him feel?

Not too good i'd have to say.

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Ruby Slippers
It isn't the photo's it's that she posed for them with an ex, signed a release even but wouldn't let her current BF snap a pic with his cell phone.

And I'm saying that a guy who's looking at this book and asking to take racy cell phone pictures of his girlfriend isn't really that conservative, either. So neither one is conservative.

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This whole thing seems so far fetched. Just what kind of "book" is this? It's 2013. They still make books with pictures of nude women in them?

I also don't buy the whole "I didn't let him take pictures because I wanted to seem conservative" thing. Newsflash! Your boyfriend isn't any more conservative than any other guy if he wants to take nude pictures of you on his cell phone.

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My boyfriend is in the marketing field so his business life revolves around ads and advertising...He showed me what a bunch of his work pals got him - a big hardcover book of glamor photography in risqué advertizing. He leafed through it and jokingly said I should take a look.

I'm pretty sure he didn't see them this morning when he quickly flipped through the book... In the past, he's jokingly tried to take racy pics of me with his cell but I wouldn't let him.

 

I think he was hinting, when he got that book (whether or not he knew you were in there) that you should pose for him. And so you should.

 

I wouldn't mention the book or the photos yet. Pose for him and mention that you did nude modeling for your ex years ago, even signed a release, but you aren't that person any more, you're mature, you realized you had made a mistake, etc. Then if he sees the book's pics he will be somewhat better prepared. The man's business is marketing and advertising and knows "sex sells" and I'm sure he's utilized it himself for clients.

 

Let that be yet another lesson for women not to pose nude unless you are prepared for everyone to see you naked at some point in the future. At the very least, make sure your face doesn't show so you can deny it's you. I've posed nude for two artist ex-boyfriends but no one would know it was me in the drawings.

Edited by FitChick
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a big hardcover book of glamor photography in risqué advertizing.

 

I guess I should have read the OP better. It's late. Carry on then...

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What's the right (smart?) thing to do now?

 

Ask him if he prefers the photo of you on page 27 or the photo of you on page 39.

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And I'm saying that a guy who's looking at this book and asking to take racy cell phone pictures of his girlfriend isn't really that conservative, either. So neither one is conservative.

 

So basically even when the woman is deceptive, it's still the man's fault.

Got it.

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Ask him if he prefers the photo of you on page 27 or the photo of you on page 39.

 

I agree. That's the one to go for. There's a good chance that his friends did buy this book because they knew you were in it and they wanted to put you in a spot. On the other hand, you must be a pretty stunning looking girl to get into the pages of a book of beautiful women - so i suspect you're going to get away with more than the average girl as a consequence of that. At the end of the day, he likes the book, right? So why should he object to his girlfriend being in it? The only part you need to worry about is that you misrepresented yourself to him.

 

Don't deal with that by going "giving the best blow job you can" in an attempt to get forgiveness. That's just a man giving a woman advice that will benefit another man..not the woman (you) herself. Deal with it by being straight and saying "look. I'm no porn star, but I have a racier past than I might have let on. I suppose that I've always felt a strong connection with you, and didn't want anything to spoil it. That said, do you prefer the photo of me on page 27 or the one on page 39?"

Edited by Taramere
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Deal with it by being straight and saying "look. I'm no porn star, but I have a racier past than I might have let on. I suppose that I've always felt a strong connection with you, and didn't want anything to spoil it. That said, do you prefer the photo of me on page 27 or the one on page 39?"

 

Yeah, dealing with it by playing it down and being honest might work.

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Yeah, dealing with it by playing it down and being honest might work.

 

The other thing is...what's the big deal? Was she obliged to tell her new boyfriend "my ex took racy nude pics of me once." Maybe she now needs to tell him the intricate details of every sexual encounter that ever came up...

 

The issue has come up now, and obviously it makes sense for her to say "look, I'm actually in that book". There's something discomfiting, though, about the "you have been dishonest/deceitful and must now own up/take what's coming" approach to her in this thread. She isn't talking about a criminal past here, and she hasn't told a lie so much as just having a past that isn't always as conservative as others might perceive.

 

I don't think she did anything wrong. Maybe she's not as conservative as her boyfriend, or maybe he's not as conservative as he lets on. They wouldn't be the first people to have a conservative exterior with a bit of a wild side underneath.

Edited by Taramere
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Taramere's advice on how to broach it is awesome. :)

 

But broach it you must. I wouldn't be so worried about his response though if I were you, unless you genuinely wove a HUGE web of deceit about how you'd never ever pose nude in front of the camera, etc. In that case he would be very right to be unhappy and perhaps even leave.

 

If there was no deceit involved and you just hadn't felt the time was right to tell him yet, you're okay on that count. That just leaves the conservative bit. Frankly I have no respect for men who want to take nude photos of their gf and love to look at nude photos of other women... but loses it when one of those women happens to be their gf. Doesn't make any logical sense at all, and makes him a hypocrite. So if that were to be the case, better you find out sooner rather than later.

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I don't think she did anything wrong. Maybe she's not as conservative as her boyfriend, or maybe he's not as conservative as he lets on. They wouldn't be the first people to have a conservative exterior with a bit of a wild side underneath.

 

This all depends on what the OP's or her boyfriend's definition of 'conservative' is I suppose.

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This all depends on what the OP's or her boyfriend's definition of 'conservative' is I suppose.

 

Well, as Greenlight pointed out - the boyfriend has expressed a wish to take racy photos of her with his cellphone, so he's not that conservative.

 

If that's the only part she's worried about (ie that she didn't pose for his cellphone pictures) I don't think she need worry at all. There are probably a lot of women who would be prepared to pose naked, in a carefully arranged/lit professional set, for pictures taken by a professional photographer...but who might not be quite so keen to have grainy amateur pics taken by a non professional on his cellphone.

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Hey come back and let us know how you get on OP.

I'd lay money down his mates know. One of them has recognized you, and suggested to the others this would be a good laugh for a gift...a gag for them, and maybe with that intention for your bf, or maybe with the intention to stir things up. Its not an ideal scenario for a conservative bf, though it means he's the lucky one dating that pretty nude model showing it off in the photos, but he could still get all ****ty having his mates see you naked PLUS the fact that you don't let him take personal erotic shots of you, yet ex bf or other photographers have and your nudies are available for all and sundry who buy the book to see or those who saw those who saw the original art exhibition/marketing campaign. I am going agree with the "do you prefer the photo of me on page 27 or the one on page 39?" approach. As for the 'I'm not that type of girl for you' side of things, well he is going to want to know why.

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Well, as Greenlight pointed out - the boyfriend has expressed a wish to take racy photos of her with his cellphone, so he's not that conservative.

 

If that's the only part she's worried about (ie that she didn't pose for his cellphone pictures) I don't think she need worry at all. There are probably a lot of women who would be prepared to pose naked, in a carefully arranged/lit professional set, for pictures taken by a professional photographer...but who might not be quite so keen to have grainy amateur pics taken by a non professional on his cellphone.

 

 

I love it.

 

OP clearly stated she didn't let him take pictures because she wanted to maintain her "good girl" cover with the boyfriend.

 

She has been pretending to be someone she isn't for the whole relationship & yet some people keep trying to put blame on the BF.

 

The pictures are not the issue here. The way she has been presenting herself to her BF is.

 

unbelievable.

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I love it.

 

OP clearly stated she didn't let him take pictures because she wanted to maintain her "good girl" cover with the boyfriend.

 

She has been pretending to be someone she isn't for the whole relationship & yet some people keep trying to put blame on the BF.

 

unbelievable.

 

How does that constitute "blaming" him? He hasn't even given a reaction to these photographs yet, so there's nothing to judge him on. I'm simply saying that he's not evidently conservative to the extent that she fears if he himself wanted to take naked photos of her.

 

Suggesting that a non professional with a cell phone probably isn't going to have the skills and knowledge to create the kind of image that made it into that book (and must therefore be quite beautiful) isn't "blaming" him. It's just being realistic about the difference between a professional photographer and an ordinary Jo with a cellphone camera.

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I love it.

 

OP clearly stated she didn't let him take pictures because she wanted to maintain her "good girl" cover with the boyfriend.

 

She has been pretending to be someone she isn't for the whole relationship & yet some people keep trying to put blame on the BF.

 

The pictures are not the issue here. The way she has been presenting herself to her BF is.

 

unbelievable.

 

This!

 

The problem is not going to be: the 'not telling' but OP her own hypocrisy. He wanted to take those pics himself (She said probably something like: i am not that kind of girl): but now he is going to fiind out that his girl has does pics with an ex (and probably more) and has naked pictures of herself in a book.

 

the logic of some female poster here:laugh:

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How does that constitute "blaming" him? He hasn't even given a reaction to these photographs yet, so there's nothing to judge him on. I'm simply saying that he's not evidently conservative to the extent that she fears if he himself wanted to take naked photos of her.

 

Suggesting that a non professional with a cell phone probably isn't going to have the skills and knowledge to create the kind of image that made it into that book (and must therefore be quite beautiful) isn't "blaming" him. It's just being realistic about the difference between a professional photographer and an ordinary Jo with a cellphone camera.

 

that would be the same logic as:

 

I had 20 ONS, but I really want to wait having sex with you because I really love you.

 

It doesn't seem like she is not in to those,. Or els she she could tell the hole story, but that is not what we read from OP. she just wanted to keep the picture her bf has of her

Edited by aed
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This!

 

The problem is not going to be: the 'not telling' but OP her own hypocrisy. He wanted to take those pics himself (She said probably something like: i am not that kind of girl): but now he is going to fiind out that his girl has does pics with an ex (and probably more) and has naked pictures of herself in a book.

 

the logic of some female poster here:laugh:

 

The dogged refusal of some to accept the difference in quality between advertising quality photographs taken by a professional, and amateur porn taken on a cellphone.

 

Oh, but I forgot. Every guy with a camera on his cellphone is David Bailey, right?

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The dogged refusal of some to accept the difference in quality between advertising quality photographs taken by a professional, and amateur porn taken on a cellphone.

 

Oh, but I forgot. Every guy with a camera on his cellphone is David Bailey, right?

 

She took those pics because he was her ex. Not because of the artistic preformance. She didn't even know she was in that book:

 

I was off work today so I got a chance to look through the book. I was shocked to find some photos of me in there! They were shots that I did two years ago for my ex who happens to be a photographer. There are only five pages of me in a book of about 200 pages, but the photos are revealing. They are Playboy style in setting but I'm nude and everything is on display

 

the who happesn to be a... shows she did it for him, not for his profession.

 

Please read the OP and what truely is going on here!

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Isn't there a big difference between some grainy pics on a cellphone(which would presumably be private) and studio pictures available for the whole world to see? I wouldn't care about the first one, but the latter would probably send me for the door.

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She took those pics because he was her ex. Not because of the artistic preformance. She didn't even know she was in that book:

 

 

 

the who happesn to be a... shows she did it for him, not for his profession.

 

Please read the OP and what truely is going on here!

 

I read the first post and the subsequent posts. She said

 

Veggirl asked if these were model shots? Yeah they were...sort of. I did them for my photographer ex boyfriend and I did sign a release. At the time I thought it was sexy and we had a "fun time" doing them.

 

The fact that she was dating a professional photographer would suggest to me that she was in the model industry. There are, of course, different grades of model. "Glamour modelling" could mean anything from being an underwear model to featuring in hard core porn. A girl I used to work with, who did modelling in her younger days, did some nude modelling which was featured in a mainstream ad.

 

More and more, even a lot of elite fashion models are sometimes required to go nude. I shouldn't think it's a big deal for anybody who has worked as a model to have had nude shots taken. Obviously I don't know the details of this picture. Maybe it crossed the line from art to very blatant porn, in which case she might have more to worry about.

 

Isn't there a big difference between some grainy pics on a cellphone(which would presumably be private) and studio pictures available for the whole world to see? I wouldn't care about the first one, but the latter would probably send me for the door.

 

The former, if taken by a guy who works in advertising and who has the kind of friends who like to stir up strife (ie by buying him that book with his girlfriend's pic in it) would probably bother me more. Either way, in this day and age there's a good chance that naked pictures will end up on the internet. Probably better that they're at least aesthetically appealing.

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If he got a book like that and has tried to take risque photos of you, he's not THAT conservative.

 

Either he accepts you or he doesn't. I wouldn't worry about it.

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