needing help desparately..

[kalari26267]

This is my situation at hand. I am a 29 yr. old female. I have been dating a 24 yr. old man for the past 7 months. I love him more than anything in this world. I feel that he is "the one". About 2 months ago, he broke up with. We still hung out every day and it was like we were still together. We still did everything the same like when we were together. His reason for breaking up with me is that he loves me but isn't in love with me. Well we ended up back together. This happened again, about a month later. We ended back together. I asked him to give me the summer to see if things would change (his feelings). Well last week we went to dinner and had some drinks. We started discussing everything. He told me that he loved me but still wasn't in love with me. or didnt' think he was. He said that I am about 75% of what he wants in a wife but not a 100%. He said we should start pursuing other relationships and that we could (VERY BIG) possibility get back together. he was like maybe I will come to find out you are the one I am searching for. I have two children that adore him and vice versa (kinda like a "jerry mcguire" moment...I have this great guy and he loves my kids and likes me a whole heck of a lot...lol) He wants 4 kids of his own, I have health problems when it comes to pregnancy.

 

Not that I can't have anymore children just the first pregnancy there would be complications due to having toxemia. So he says this is an issue. Well he left that night, we talked the next two days and he came into town (he lives 1/2 hour away) we went out. I asked him if he was staying in town w/me that night. He said no. I was hurt and upset because he was pretty drunk and I felt it was stupid for him to drive all the way home at 330 am drunk. But I left. I was outside and he pulled into my driveway. he ended up staying the night. The next day I was upset so my best friend called him to see where the heck he stood when it came to me. He runs hot and cold . He told her he loves me but that he doesn't think I am the one for him. which I disagree. Maybe I am in denial. So anyways he stopped by to drop some money off he had borrowed the night before from me and told me that we shouldn't be around each other and can't be friends anymore due to the fact we have a hard time being friends since we always end up cuddling and loving on each other. at first I agreed. but now I am dying inside w/o him. I also have done something I know is wrong but I am human right.

 

He has given me his password to everything. I have checked his phone calls on his cell and his emails. I know crappy of me but I wanted to know what is up. He is talking to other girls a lot. none are from around here though.. he hasn't lied to me when I asked him if he talks to other girls..well now he has put a n/c for a month since i have emailed him. i emailed him back and said that isnt fair to ask if hewants my friendship he needs to take it now or never. nicely though. I still haven't heard back from him this was yesterday.what should I do? I am gong crazy and I just need to know that if I am wasting my time or not? why would he say that there is a huge possibility of us re-uniting if there isn't? he is an honest guy. Please give me some insight on the male mind and how it works...thanks also, should I email him one last time to let him no that I am serious about this?

[savethedrama4allama]

I'm sorry, but its really sh*tty of him that your pregnancy complications are "an issue" for him. You fall in love with the woman, not the uterus, and you build a family around that. Not to mention you have a fair amount of children between you already.

 

If he isn't sure if he is in love with you, you can't force it. Let him come to you. He is the only one who can decide, you can't control it. Until he makes up his mind, contacting him is a waste of your time.

[Taken_Angel]

Wait please before you get defensive...you nicely let him know it's now or never (for the friendship thing) and you haven't heard back from him. What does this tell you?

 

He told her he loves me but that he doesn't think I am the one for him. which I disagree.

 

Just because you feel something doesn't make it true (which I'm sure you know).

 

Not that I can't have anymore children just the first pregnancy there would be complications due to having toxemia. So he says this is an issue.

 

If this is a health issue for you why would you do something to put yourself in danger just to keep a man around?

 

He said that I am about 75% of what he wants in a wife but not a 100%. He said we should start pursuing other relationships and that we could (VERY BIG) possibility get back together

.

 

re-read what you said and your answer is there. He doesn't want to be with you in a relationship because he doesn't feel you are the one for him.

 

It is very unfair of you to try and push yourself on him, he is young and probably wants to see what else is out there since he isn't feeling the same for you. I seriously think it's a mistake for you to try and pressure him into even being friends (even though you're being nice about it, you're still doing it). You're going to end up losing him completely...(if you haven't already because you can't make someone be "in love" with you)

 

he hasn't lied to me when I asked him if he talks to other girls..well now he has put a n/c for a month since i have emailed him.

 

Clearly he is moving on and so should you. Find someone who wants 100% of you, who's sure you're the one for them!

 

i emailed him back and said that isn't fair to ask if he wants my friendship he needs to take it now or never.

BAD idea!

 

I am gong crazy and I just need to know that if I am wasting my time or not? why would he say that there is a huge possibility of us re-uniting if there isn't? he is an honest guy. Please give me some insight on the male mind and how it works...

 

Because he tried telling you he didn't want to be with you, he only wanted to be friends, you kept after him asking him to spend the night (no offense but you know you thought you could change his mind about not being with you). And since you wouldn't take the hint (because you love him you can't let go) he told you what you wanted to hear so you wouldn't feel so crummy!

 

thanks also, should I email him one last time to let him no that I am serious about this?

NO NO NO! He asked for n/c you should respect that! How would you feel if some guy wouldn't leave you alone after you specifically asked him to not contact you anymore and to move on and pursue seeing other people? Wouldn't you be annoyed and angry with that person??