Author Naive Posted September 16, 2004 Author Share Posted September 16, 2004 Originally posted by Barby Okay so no judgements or "preaching" here on my part I promise.. Are you entertaining the thoughts of an "affair" with him? Is it something you've considered and would be willing to do? Since I'm not extremely familiar with your situation (except this thread) please don't think I'm "dumb" for asking...I'm curious.. Oh gosh, it's a looooooooooooooooooooong story. In a nutshell, we were together before and we broke up. Then we went our separate ways. I thought about him all the time. I got married and so did he. I ended my marriage for different reasons. He got married because she was pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing. I never looked for him. One day I see him at a party and he asked a mutual friend for my number. He called me out of nowhere. We met up and just talked about what happened between us. Even though 2 years had passed it seemed like no time had passed when we saw each other. After a while we gave in and started to hold a "relationship". When we were together before we never had a sexual relationship and now we did. His wife found out. He left the house. I felt bad for the baby and left him so he could go back home. He felt bad and that was it. I had felt great about my decision until I knew I was going to see him. Now I am afraid to fall into the same routine. Hope I did not bore you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted September 16, 2004 Author Share Posted September 16, 2004 I just re-read what I typed and I know it's so much drama. I really don't want to fall back into the same ROUTINE, but I can't help it. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 You didn't bore me...I'm sorry to hear about the pain and drama, but if he loves you and wants to be with you maybe he should seriously consider leaving her and being with you. There is no law that says he must be with her in order to care for their child. She doesn't deserve to have a husband who's still in love with his ex turned "OW" turned ex OW so if you feel you can't stay away from him maybe you two should get everything back out in the open and go from there. If you don't want to do this then I say staying away from him is the better choice instead of becoming the "ow" again and causing so much pain for both you and his wife again....Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MMBastard Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 but if he loves you and wants to be with you maybe he should seriously consider leaving her and being with you. There is no law that says he must be with her in order to care for their child. She doesn't deserve to have a husband who's still in love with his ex turned "OW" turned ex OW so if you feel you can't stay away from him maybe you two should get everything back out in the open and go from there. I second that. What's his situation with his wife anyways???? Although a vast majority of these relationships (MM/OW) end up sour i still firmly believe anything can happen. Go all out...ask him what's up? Tell him what you'd expect of him if you guys were to stay together...tell him your terms. I firmly believe anything is possible - The only real defeat is when you've given up trying. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted October 1, 2004 Author Share Posted October 1, 2004 MM just called me to work to ask how was my b-day. WHY DOES HE HAVE THIS POWER OVER ME???????????? I have not talked to him since he came to my job and still got weak in the knees and stuttered when he called! Instead of telling him to not call I just hold a conversation with him like there's nothing wrong!!!!!! I'm so mad at myself. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted October 4, 2004 Share Posted October 4, 2004 I know how hard this is on you. I was also in love w/ a man who was in a serious relationship and married her b/c she got pregnant. The whole time they were dating we were sleeping w/ eachother. I felt bad, but then again I didn't b/c I know he was sleeping around w/ other ppl at college. I didn't care, I was young, stupid, and in love. I wanted to spend as much time as possible w/ him. I was still in love w/ him when he married his W. I stopped contact w/ him when I moved away to college. It was the best thing for me to get away from him. I know it would of been hard to get over him if I seen or talked to him all the time. Fifteen years and myself married w/ children he emailed me and even called me. He emailed and IM'ed me on several occassions saying how much he loved being w/ me and we should meet up. I told him no, we were both married. I finally told him I was uncomfortable w/ the things he kept saying about our past and he stopped emailing me and IM'ing me. Guess he knew there was no chances again. If you really want to get over this MM you need to stop him from calling you. You need to find someone who is single. If he decides later on to leave his wife then let him, but don't be the reason why he left her. You deserve to be happy and you wont be w/ a MM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Originally posted by StillHurtin You need to find someone who is single. If he decides later on to leave his wife then let him, but don't be the reason why he left her. You deserve to be happy and you wont be w/ a MM. Oh I know this all too well! The problem is that it's hard to get away from him, when it seems that there is always something or someone that draws us back to each other. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I know how hard it is. To this day, 15 years later, I find the man I posted about b4 coming back into my life through others. His parent's go to church at the same church I recently started to work for in the pre-school. I see his parent's almost every day. And this man's nephew is in a serious relationship w/ my niece. If they ever get married I know he will be at the wedding and I know how much that will bother my dh b/c he knows all about this man and he knows how hard it was for me to get over him. If at all possible, try to stay clear of him. No phone calls. If you see him somewhere there is no reason why you can't say hello, but leave it at that. It is hard, I know, but you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts