Complicated affair

[2sunny]

We are not fortune tellers - we give our experience and perspective here...

 

 

But know - it will affect her for her whole life.

[KatZee]

Does anyone know how difficult and how long it would take my daughter of 3 1/2 years old to transition into living with me and my wife, part time at least? I assume her mother (my current girlfriend) would have to accompany my daughter at least for awhile. Any thoughts?

 

You really are sick, aren't you?

 

You want to take a child who is living with her mother, one you fathered out of wedlock, and transition her to living with you and your wife? Why? What is the purpose of this? It's not as if you and your OW were married and there was a divorce and now you're sharing custody.

 

You want to bring your child into this mess you created. You should be keeping her OUT OF THIS as much as possible. The way you use people as pawns across a board is frightening!

 

Now you're just playing games. :mad::mad:

 

You don't "transition" someone's child into your own home for your own gain. And how F.UCKED up is that anyway???!?!? Parade the child your wife couldn't have in front of her face. You're a real classy guy.

 

Vomit inducing. Truly. :sick::sick:

[eleanorrigby]

Does anyone know how difficult and how long it would take my daughter of 3 1/2 years old to transition into living with me and my wife, part time at least? I assume her mother (my current girlfriend) would have to accompany my daughter at least for awhile. Any thoughts?

 

What in the hell makes you think your OW is going to hand over her child to you and your wife?

 

What in the crap makes you think your daughter would be OK with switching families?

[SunshineToday]

God I hope this thread is fake. I feel terrible for that child.

 

And the BS. I am just appalled.

 

I almost hope DNA proves she is not his daughter, so she can be spared from this nightmare.

[KatZee]

How do you plan on even explaining that? Your daughter isn't a pet. It's not like you can say, "Oh my friend went away for the weekend, we're watching Fido here!"

 

Do you really think your wife won't question why there's some other woman's daughter living in her house???!!!

 

You truly don't think about things before you speak (or type) do you?

[Realist3]

Does anyone know how difficult and how long it would take my daughter of 3 1/2 years old to transition into living with me and my wife, part time at least? I assume her mother (my current girlfriend) would have to accompany my daughter at least for awhile. Any thoughts?

 

It probably wouldn't take too long, maybe a few months. It really depends on how she gets along with your wife. Your wife will be the key. If she is into it 100% your daughter will find the transition pretty easy, especially at this young age.

[KatZee]

It probably wouldn't take too long, maybe a few months. It really depends on how she gets along with your wife. Your wife will be the key. If she is into it 100% your daughter will find the transition pretty easy, especially at this young age.

 

Why are you even encouraging this? Someone else already said it. Why the hell would this child's mother hand her over?!

 

SHE WOULDN'T. So there's no point to even discussing or debating such a ridiculous hypothetical scenario.

[Brian1]

You really are sick, aren't you?

 

You want to take a child who is living with her mother, one you fathered out of wedlock, and transition her to living with you and your wife? Why? What is the purpose of this? It's not as if you and your OW were married and there was a divorce and now you're sharing custody.

 

You want to bring your child into this mess you created. You should be keeping her OUT OF THIS as much as possible. The way you use people as pawns across a board is frightening!

 

Now you're just playing games. :mad::mad:

 

You don't "transition" someone's child into your own home for your own gain. And how F.UCKED up is that anyway???!?!? Parade the child your wife couldn't have in front of her face. You're a real classy guy.

 

Vomit inducing. Truly. :sick::sick:

 

Ok, there seems to be a major misunderstanding here. Let me rephrase my last comment about "transitioning" my daughter into my house with me and my wife.

First of all, in my mind I was assuming that the paternity test came out positive and the changing of the birth certificate was completed. Then after I came clean with my wife about my daughter and my affair and my wife decided to stay married to me, then we come into the time frame of my last comment. At that point, how long or difficult would it be for my daughter to become comfortable in her new surroundings. It's a very hypothetical question but I thought someone might have some insight.

[Brian1]

It probably wouldn't take too long, maybe a few months. It really depends on how she gets along with your wife. Your wife will be the key. If she is into it 100% your daughter will find the transition pretty easy, especially at this young age.

 

Thanks realist3. Finally someone who understood my question. Hope everything is going well with you and yours.

[eleanorrigby]

Thanks realist3. Finally someone who understood my question. Hope everything is going well with you and yours.

 

oh please, we understood your question. You like to backpedal a lot.

[Realist3]

Why are you even encouraging this? Someone else already said it. Why the hell would this child's mother hand her over?!

 

SHE WOULDN'T. So there's no point to even discussing or debating such a ridiculous hypothetical scenario.

 

 

Encouraging a father to be part of his daughter's life? Yes, that is simply unbelievable. Who would do THAT?

 

When he tells his wife and if she decides to stay, he will have some form of joint custody. What is the big deal?

[Realist3]

Thanks realist3. Finally someone who understood my question. Hope everything is going well with you and yours.

 

Thanks. A little mixed up right now, but it is all good. I wish you well on dealing with this.

[Brian1]

oh please, we understood your question. You like to backpedal a lot.

 

You obviously DID NOT comprehend my question. If you did then I really feel sorry for someone full of such anger and bitterness.

[KatZee]

Ok, there seems to be a major misunderstanding here. Let me rephrase my last comment about "transitioning" my daughter into my house with me and my wife.

First of all, in my mind I was assuming that the paternity test came out positive and the changing of the birth certificate was completed. Then after I came clean with my wife about my daughter and my affair and my wife decided to stay married to me, then we come into the time frame of my last comment. At that point, how long or difficult would it be for my daughter to become comfortable in her new surroundings. It's a very hypothetical question but I thought someone might have some insight.

 

You seem to be under some illusion that once your paternity is proven, and once your wife knows, that everything is going to be wonderful.

 

It's NOT.

 

If I was your wife, I wouldn't be able to wrap my head around how betrayed I was. How you went out, stuck your dick in someone else, got her pregnant and then spent 5 years in a relationship with that woman, and quasi-raising that child.

 

The pain of not being able to bear children would be painful enough, but to see a living breathing child that my husband created with some other woman who wasn't good enough to keep her legs closed? I wouldn't even want to LOOK at that child, let alone have it living under my roof. I wouldn't be able to tolerate looking at you and this child interacting as if you're some cute little family.

 

You would be tossed out of the house and immediately 180'd.

[Realist3]

My next door neighbors adopted 5 girls(sisters) at once, with ages ranging from 3-10. The transition was very easy with the younger ones. The oldest 2 which are now 15 and 17 have been more difficult.

[KatZee]

Encouraging a father to be part of his daughter's life? Yes, that is simply unbelievable. Who would do THAT?

 

When he tells his wife and if she decides to stay, he will have some form of joint custody. What is the big deal?

 

Yup. Just bring that poor child around his wife who's unable to have kids, after all the procedures. Parade her around. Act like a wonderful father.

 

This child should be KEPT OUT OF THIS AT ALL COST.

[Realist3]

You seem to be under some illusion that once your paternity is proven, and once your wife knows, that everything is going to be wonderful.

 

It's NOT.

 

If I was your wife, I wouldn't be able to wrap my head around how betrayed I was. How you went out, stuck your dick in someone else, got her pregnant and then spent 5 years in a relationship with that woman, and quasi-raising that child.

 

The pain of not being able to bear children would be painful enough, but to see a living breathing child that my husband created with some other woman who wasn't good enough to keep her legs closed? I wouldn't even want to LOOK at that child, let alone have it living under my roof. I wouldn't be able to tolerate looking at you and this child interacting as if you're some cute little family.

 

You would be tossed out of the house and immediately 180'd.

 

That is what YOU would do, but you aren't his wife. She may react that way, but she may not. Given what he has said about her, it sounds like she has a strong inclination that the girl is his.

 

I'm not sure what lecturing him about what your reaction would be accomplishes.

[KatZee]

That is what YOU would do, but you aren't his wife. She may react that way, but she may not. Given what he has said about her, it sounds like she has a strong inclination that the girl is his.

 

I'm not sure what lecturing him about what your reaction would be accomplishes.

 

Oh, I'm sure she'll just lay down like an oriental rug. She'll LOVE the new bundle being introduced into her life! :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

[Realist3]

Yup. Just bring that poor child around his wife who's unable to have kids, after all the procedures. Parade her around. Act like a wonderful father.

 

This child should be KEPT OUT OF THIS AT ALL COST.

 

It is his daughter! He needs to be her father, whether it is full time with the girlfriend, or part time with his wife. His wife will have a decision to make, but that has nothing to do with the FACT that he needs to be a father to his child.

[Brian1]

You seem to be under some illusion that once your paternity is proven, and once your wife knows, that everything is going to be wonderful.

 

It's NOT.

 

If I was your wife, I wouldn't be able to wrap my head around how betrayed I was. How you went out, stuck your dick in someone else, got her pregnant and then spent 5 years in a relationship with that woman, and quasi-raising that child.

 

The pain of not being able to bear children would be painful enough, but to see a living breathing child that my husband created with some other woman who wasn't good enough to keep her legs closed? I wouldn't even want to LOOK at that child, let alone have it living under my roof. I wouldn't be able to tolerate looking at you and this child interacting as if you're some cute little family.

 

You would be tossed out of the house and immediately 180'd.

 

That's your view and opinion. Everyones opinions usually come from their past experiences. I hope you're doing better. Remember, one day at a time.

[eleanorrigby]

You obviously DID NOT comprehend my question. If you did then I really feel sorry for someone full of such anger and bitterness.

 

Nevermind my anger and/or bitterness.

 

We're talking about you.

 

I'm sure I remember somewhere in this thread you mentioned the option of you and your wife adopting the child.

That assumes that your OW would be willing to give the child up to you.

What makes you think that's an option.

[KatZee]

It is his daughter! He needs to be her father, whether it is full time with the girlfriend, or part time with his wife. His wife will have a decision to make, but that has nothing to do with the FACT that he needs to be a father to his child.

 

Yep. And he's such a great father to this daughter. Waving to her as he drives past her house in the car. He wanted to be a father so badly that he went out and screwed his assistant.

 

There is no much logical or rational thought process to anything he's done over these 5 years.

 

This child is just a casualty to his crappy decisions.

 

Brian doesn't seem to care too much about anyone in his life (apparently) except for this child. So why do all of his "options" include screwing the child up even more than she would be?

 

I guarantee this poor girl winds up in therapy.

[Realist3]

Oh, I'm sure she'll just lay down like an oriental rug. She'll LOVE the new bundle being introduced into her life! :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Some people are rather good at accepting the reality of a situation; others, not so much.

 

You obviously fall in the latter category, but you don't know his wife. You have no idea how she will react. I'm sure she will be hurt but if she wants to be a part of Brian's life she will accept his daughter.

[Brian1]

Nevermind my anger and/or bitterness.

 

We're talking about you.

 

I'm sure I remember somewhere in this thread you mentioned the option of you and your wife adopting the child.

That assumes that your OW would be willing to give the child up to you.

What makes you think that's an option.

 

Please read realist3's comments. He said, as all would know, once I prove the girl is my daughter and the birth certificate is changed, then and only then, I will have the legal right to have full or partial custody of my daughter. The courts will decide. Of course I'm going on a hypothetical scenario here. But at the very least, I'll get full or partial custody even if I'm on my own.

[Realist3]

Yep. And he's such a great father to this daughter. Waving to her as he drives past her house in the car. He wanted to be a father so badly that he went out and screwed his assistant.

 

There is no much logical or rational thought process to anything he's done over these 5 years.

 

This child is just a casualty to his crappy decisions.

 

Brian doesn't seem to care too much about anyone in his life (apparently) except for this child. So why do all of his "options" include screwing the child up even more than she would be?

 

I guarantee this poor girl winds up in therapy.

 

We all know what transpired. I'm not sure why you are bent on re-litigating the past. What happened, happened. He knows full well what his actions have caused. He is living it.

 

Just because he hasn't made the best decisions previously, does not mean he can't start making better ones today. Same thing goes about being a better father to his daughter.