Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 You must have a rough idea though...this month? By summer? By the end of the year? Definitely before the end of this year, maximum. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 That's bull. Why do you think that the potential men she could find would be not good candidates? I know how she rolls and who she is. It's been a lot of work for me over the last 5 years to get her to associate herself with better quality people. Also, she has said before that if I break up with her, she would find someone just to make me upset. Maybe that was a comment in the heat of the moment, but anyway, it says something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Because it suits his vision of others lives. Those who believe women with children have no/few choices are as full of it as those who believe they have the right to orchestrate the lives of others. Why are their so many step dads if the potential men were few. There are thousands of potential men for her, but very few good men. If she finds a good man and he shows signs of treating my daughter well, then that would be great. But if she brings a drunkard or complete loser into the life of my daughter, that's when I would have to step in and remove my daughter from her mothers' life. But those are all hypotheticals. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 She probably meant she would find a temporary hotty to burst you bubble. That does not mean she will jump into a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 How could counseling possibly help you - and your marriage when you weren't honest about what you are doing? Did your counselor encourage you to tell your wife your truth of what you've been doing these past several years? The counselor we saw 2 years ago knew nothing of my affair. My current counselor clearly stated more than once that I should tell my wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Not when it violates societal norms. I doubt your daughter will feel special upon learning that she is the "result" of an affair. Believe me, it's not easy loving two women and keeping them both happy. One woman is more than enough for most men. Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 By what example are measuring a "good" man? Yes, I'm curious about that too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Brian I was divorced twice and this is my third Marriage which has lasted the longest. I was young my self a one time. The first marriage was with my High School sweet heart we had one child when we divorced he said I would never find a man that would love my child and I like him. He was wrong the second one said you will never find a man that will love you like I do and take care of two children. The third one said I love you and will take care of you for the rest of your life and raise you children as my own. I have been Married going on 21 years so far he kept his promise. Do not under estimate a woman for every man that looses woman another comes along to take their place. You may think they your wife and OW are replaceable but remember so are you.so the moral of the story is { It takes many pricks to get to the rose.} You're a perfect example of what I was saying then. If a woman or man goes through enough relationships, I'm sure there's a small percentage chance they might get lucky or have success. Your success rate is 33%. That's probably the norm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 So you're saying that it's ok that you cheated on your wife and had an affair with a woman who was practically a teenager (which produced a child) because you're special? She won't buy that. Neither should you. This is the part of being a dad where you man up and admit your mistakes, and tell her not to follow in your footsteps because it's NOT OK for any man to treat a woman like you did her mother and your wife. Do not screw her up because you can't admit that you screwed up. The last thing I want is that my daughter goes down the same road that her mother and father went down. She'll certainly be taught that our behavior is not right nor good nor special. Link to post Share on other sites
CarboniteCammy Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Better yet, get your sh*t straight and lead by example. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 What make you think you are the better man for these woman? What you are doing is one of the reasons why I divorced. I dont understand how you think you are so good for these woman when you have been doing what you have. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 The last thing I want is that my daughter goes down the same road that her mother and father went down. She'll certainly be taught that our behavior is not right nor good nor special. You're contradicting yourself. A few posts back you said that the r/s between you and your GF is different, and therefore special. So your r/s is special, but your behaviour isn't? Surely your r/s is DEFINED by your behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 What make you think you are the better man for these woman? What you are doing is one of the reasons why I divorced. I dont understand how you think you are so good for these woman when you have been doing what you have. I suspect money has something to do with it. To him, a good man = provider. Just a hunch. And since he pays for his wife, and his gf/daughter, that makes him a good man in his book. Brian, correct me if I'm wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Money cant buy everything. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) The counselor we saw 2 years ago knew nothing of my affair. My current counselor clearly stated more than once that I should tell my wife. Does your counselor agree with you on waiting until you have all your ducks in a roll? Edited February 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed quote Link to post Share on other sites
Journee Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Yes, my girlfriend may find a good man who would take care and love my daughter. But, that's highly unlikely. I know my girlfriend and the potential men she could find. Not good candidates, believe me. Also, a fairly young lady with a child? Not too many good men would want to take that on. That is wishful thinking on your part. Ridiculous but wishful none the less. Also mean spirited. You may be right about the last part considering she crashed into you. Believe it or not you are not the only options for your OW and W. I'm not sure why you think their lives would just crumble without you. You know that isn't true. Your OW has a long life ahead of her and would find that men are very receptive to women with children. Good men don't think the way you seem to about that. Your W would also move on to find love with another man. Their world's will keep turning with or without you. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 I know how she rolls and who she is.It's been a lot of work for me over the last 5 years to get her to associate herself with better quality people.Also, she has said before that if I break up with her, she would find someone just to make me upset. Maybe that was a comment in the heat of the moment, but anyway, it says something. And she's still associating with you! Now THAT is humor! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tenacity Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 After thinking about this thread for awhile, I actually think the endless evolution of the thread itself is ego-boosting for the OP. Centering attention on him, etc. I even suspect that some of his answers are orchestrated (either knowingly or unknowingly) to keep the thread going, because he knows the responses are going to irk people into continuing to reply. So many people have said the same things over and over and over again, to no avail, and if he were really going to get it, he would have gotten it by now. Just my opinion. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 There are thousands of potential men for her, but very few good men. If she finds a good man and he shows signs of treating my daughter well, then that would be great. But if she brings a drunkard or complete loser into the life of my daughter, that's when I would have to step in and remove my daughter from her mothers' life. But those are all hypotheticals. Blah hahahahahaha Are you kidding? My husband thought the same thing when we separated. I was very overweight, burgeoning on 30 with a child. I had a guy on my doorstep within 2 weeks. He had two children of his own. I had offers regularly. _I_ didn't know I had so many options. News travels fast and young men will find young women when they want to. And they often want to. You can see my profile pic that I am no hottie, nor I am rich and famous. BUT I am very outgoing and encouraging in person. There are just as many young men parents as there are young women parents. And there are many many young men who wouldn't mind having that family unit. In fact, the guy that popped up at my door, his ex-wife already had 2 potential step-dad boyfriends. The second one she is still with. He doesn't want children of his own and is totally fine with the kids. Much better than she deserved I might add. This generation separated (rightly or wrongly) parenting from marriage in more cases than any other. It's no surprise to find that your date of the evening has a child that they have part-custody of OR a child from a previous relationship that lives with the mother. I don't like that trend, but it's the way it is. A 25 year old? You think that a kid will keep the masses of single men away? Especially one that is willing to date older men? :lmao: Buddy, she's probably ALREADY dating him! As for wrenching the child away from her mother.... you aren't even on the birth certificate, the child, if need be, would most likely be removed to her family or foster until she could be confirmed as yours. PLUS they would tell your GF to choose between drunkie bf and her child, pretty much straight-up. I'll let you do that math on that one... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 I suspect money has something to do with it. To him, a good man = provider. Just a hunch. And since he pays for his wife, and his gf/daughter, that makes him a good man in his book. Brian, correct me if I'm wrong. That's a very big part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 The last thing I want is that my daughter goes down the same road that her mother and father went down. She'll certainly be taught that our behavior is not right nor good nor special. But what she SEES on a daily basis is what she will learn as HER sense of "normal" - and that IS what she's being shown NOW. Kids tend to choose what they've seen as THEIR "normal" -mainly because that's what familiar and comfortable "as their known" - as opposed to CHOOSING opposite because its simply "the unknown". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I've got just one wee request: Don't post again before you confess. Please??? -ol' 2long Who are you to request this? He should post as he so chooses. If you don't like it, don't read it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 The feel free to ignore it, and no longer post to it. Your problem is solved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pianomanwoman Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Behave like your wife and just don't do anything. Pretend like you don't know she is seeing someone, that way you will still have your daughter when she grows up. There is no need to worry, your money and the new man's income and also the business you set up for her other family will go for the benifit of the love child. Be like Arnold. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Does your counselor agree with you on waiting until you have all your ducks in a roll? He agrees that it is very prudent, but to do it quickly (which I am). Link to post Share on other sites
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