Realist3 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 $5 million isn't enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I have even considered splitting all my assets into three parts and leaving 1/3 to each woman and moving myself far away and let everyone start over from scratch. I don't like this idea. You could move wherever you choose, it won't change history, and it won't change your connection to these people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 And she can't completely trust you. I don't think staying with your W because you can trust her is a good idea while she can't trust you. Probably a better match with the OW, unless you really change. You cannot talk for everyone else. Love is displayed through actions and I definitely know many men who love their wives better than you love yours. You are confusing your feelings with real love, which goes beyond feelings. People typically don't get much choice in their terminal diseases, whereas you are living the life made through your own choices, and making others live the life of your choice as well. Choices made each day for the past 5 years. Interesting, that you had to get to the stage of your daughter starting to be able to question the situation, before you started considering changing something. Many would have made a different choice 5 years ago and not started an affair, then again at 4.5 years and not had unprotected sex with the AP, then again at 4 years ago and not hidden the impending birth of their daughter, and so on. I think people tend to be where the want to be, and so I suspect you wanted this path for many years. Not so clear you would want a different path even now, if you could figure out a way to weave a convincing web of lies for your daughter, as you do for your wife and OW. But that's not so easy, and so you are finally beginning to see, that you will have to change something. But what??? You don't seem to know. Maybe still hoping to pull a convincing whopper out of your sleeve? Very nice perspective. Thanks for the insight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 How could you possibly believe this? First of all, it is impossible to compare "feelings", but more importantly, you are ignoring the very basis of what it means to love--to be LOVING! Do you really believe that you love your wife as much as a man chooses to resist the temptation to have sex with another woman because of his love for his wife? Do you really believe that you love your OW more than a man who TRUSTS his gf and does not proclaim to love another woman who he claims to prefer over her? Do you have any idea the depth of love a parent feels for their child when their child wakes up in the night in pain or in fear as they hold and comfort them? Please, don't compare the feelings you have for these people with people who have dedicated and are willing to sacrifice anything for those they truly love. You don't have a clue, and, in all sincerity, I find that very sad. That's your perspective. I appreciate your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I don't like this idea. You could move wherever you choose, it won't change history, and it won't change your connection to these people. That's true, but maybe everyone involved just needs to get away from the others, at least for a year or so. Link to post Share on other sites
fllygirl Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Brian, where you gonna move? I thought you want to raise your daughter? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Don't keep speaking hypothetically, then. Pick a plan and act now. -ol' 2long Why does he need to act now? Why are so many of you trying to rush things along? Is it so we can read the drama? It has been going on for 5 years. What makes tomorrow or next month so special? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Maybe we just don't see the "need" for 53 more pages of this thread. -ol' 2long We? You can leave and not read another word anytime you choose. You're addicted to it. You ask him not to post and then keep responding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Random question regarding sex... Do you think if you ended up marrying the OW - you would be capable of resisting the temptation of sex in the coming years with your now wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Random question regarding sex... Do you think if you ended up marrying the OW - you would be capable of resisting the temptation of sex in the coming years with your now wife? Right now I have excellent sex with my wife but the frequency is at a minimal. Maybe 1-2 times each month. That is what initially caused me to have a wandering eye; lack of intimacy, about 7 years ago. But to answer your question, I really doubt my wife would want anything to do with me in the future if I chose my OW over her. But who knows. I've been shocked by results before which I considered near impossibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 For those who care or have interest, tomorrow afternoon I should be receiving the paternity test results. I'm very excited. Today, I had an excellent 2 hours with my gf. Great conversation. No sex, although we both had great desire. Also, the rest of the day was very pleasantly spent with my wife. Very enjoyable for me and them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Can you have a look at how some of your posts seem to bounce from "poor me" to a sense of passive-aggressive rebellion against posters, many whom are trying to help you? Do you see that pattern in your relationships? My father often used money to keep people close and in line. But he also considered himself the victim of circumstance. Do you see something similar here? BTW, I can strongly assure you that there is a lot of damage being done to your child, especially with your inaction. Poor kid. Not even properly acknowledged. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 Can you have a look at how some of your posts seem to bounce from "poor me" to a sense of passive-aggressive rebellion against posters, many whom are trying to help you? Do you see that pattern in your relationships? My father often used money to keep people close and in line. But he also considered himself the victim of circumstance. Do you see something similar here? BTW, I can strongly assure you that there is a lot of damage being done to your child, especially with your inaction. Poor kid. Not even properly acknowledged. No, I don't see that in my case. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 For those who care or have interest, tomorrow afternoon I should be receiving the paternity test results. I'm very excited. Today, I had an excellent 2 hours with my gf. Great conversation. No sex, although we both had great desire. Also, the rest of the day was very pleasantly spent with my wife. Very enjoyable for me and them. So where did you tell your W you were going when you met with OW for those hours? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Right now I have excellent sex with my wife but the frequency is at a minimal. Maybe 1-2 times each month. That is what initially caused me to have a wandering eye; lack of intimacy, about 7 years ago. But to answer your question, I really doubt my wife would want anything to do with me in the future if I chose my OW over her. But who knows. I've been shocked by results before which I considered near impossibilities. And an honest man would tell his W he's considering cheating since he's not feeling the intimacy level to be adequate with his W. Don't blame her - this is ONLY on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Heather1 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Again, didn't read through this whole thing just 1st & last pages. So the question seems to be, "how do I keep my w, GF & daughter status quo?" You get 3 & they get 1/3 ? This all happened because you have great sex & love your w, but only have sex a few times a month?? That was a job for a hooker, not a girl who is now the mother of your only child. Because you choose your w, she's a free agent. She deserves to be w/ someone who loves her & the daughter full time, don't you think? I know you want all three, but you need to be fair here & think about "others". Or make a choice & d your w & marry this girl, doesn't sound like a bad option? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Oh Lord, the last thing we need is to bring hookers into this. They get pregnant too ya know. Link to post Share on other sites
fllygirl Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Oh Lord, the last thing we need is to bring hookers into this. They get pregnant too ya know. So where did you tell your W you were going when you met with OW for those hours? He said he gonna see some hookers ..LOL sorry, just a joke Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Joking about such life and death matters is frowned upon in these parts. Rememeber that for future reference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 So where did you tell your W you were going when you met with OW for those hours? I don't want to teach anyone bad habits, so I'll refrain from answering that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de Lis Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I only got through 5 pages of this entire discussion. I plan on reading the rest when I have time. Apologies if this has already been stated. Brian1, I think what you are really afraid of is losing 1/2 of your wealth and the power and status that that wealth brings you. From what I have read, you sound like a wealthy, successful man by virtue of being able to set up his mistress with houses and a business that apparently would barely register a blip on your overall finances for your wife to notice. I'm guessing that from a legal standpoint that your wife would be entitled to at least 1/2 of your net worth should she find out about everything and divorces you. She might be able to leverage a more beneficial divorce settlement if she has information that could have impact on your business, societal, or public reputation. You lord over your girlfriends financial status to control her (I think you mentioned that you bought a house in your daughter's name that goes 100% your girlfriend when your daughter turns 18 if your GF abides by conditions you dictate). I'm guessing your wife has been on the business end of similar control tactics by you for probably the brunt of your marriage. I'm not sure where you live (I'm guessing the UK), but I am pretty sure that indentured servitude is outlawed in most western countries. I think what you have done - in essence - is that you have used your wealth to financially and emotionally enslave both your wife and girlfriend. Just my two cents. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Today, I had an excellent 2 hours with my gf. Great conversation. No sex, although we both had great desire. Also, the rest of the day was very pleasantly spent with my wife. Very enjoyable for me and them. You never get sick from eating all that cake, do you? Never crash after a sugar high... I'm going to ask you a question and hope you take the time to think about it. Do you ever feel empathy? Can you give us some examples? I've been trying really hard to find any sign of that in your thread, but I don't see it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 brian Did you get your results back today yet? I hope it turns out for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 brian Did you get your results back today yet? I hope it turns out for the best. Results are in...POSITIVE. I am now officially a certified father. I'm so happy. Now the work starts, officially. I'll raise my daughter the best that I can. Next step on my plan is to legalize myself as the father of my daughter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Brian1 Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 You never get sick from eating all that cake, do you? Never crash after a sugar high... I'm going to ask you a question and hope you take the time to think about it. Do you ever feel empathy? Can you give us some examples? I've been trying really hard to find any sign of that in your thread, but I don't see it. I try my best to identify and relate to the emotional feelings of my wife and my OW. My wife acts as if she's living in a fantasy, always content. My gf is up and down just like myself. We both have very high highs and very low lows. Link to post Share on other sites
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