BrokenPrincess Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Spark, come over too. I'll open some wine & you guys can help me put it all in the firepit! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
obladi Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Doing same thing helped meget over my wife when i split up. its right black bag it all then it stps hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
Nanuk Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) Hmmmm..."Affair Cleaner" now that sounds like a profitable niche market - just need my neurolizer and I could offer a complete package. ! Almost sounds like an idea for a reality show! I am thinking of a cross between Slice's The Other Woman and A&E's Hoarders Edited January 30, 2013 by Nanuk Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm usually sentimental too. But I'm not sure this is the time to be sentimental, ya know? I have saved everything my life and H sees all that stuff. But I think this is just a painful reminder to us both. My trunk is honestly filled with crap and I guess I just forgot it was in there. The song list I like to go back and read what he wrote once in a while (even though I have come to terms with it being all lies)....I'll prob just dump it all. It will be very sad, but hopefully get me over things even more. And I'm sure H would appreciate not having to look at it anymore. That made me feel pretty ****ty. It's one thing to be sentimental or keep stuff from old lovers BEFORE you even met your current partner (although for me, I have no need for that stuff. I have old emails simply because I hardly delete emails but even other items, I don't really think of them in the same way once I'm done and don't have a need to look at them yeaaars later when I've moved on. It's not in malice, simply the natural way of life. You get rid of the old sometimes to make space for the new and with time intense emotions to things decrease as do your feelings for exes). But if you're married, had an affair and are attempting to reconcile, I think it would be counterproductive and disrespectful to your spouse and M if you want to keep mementos of your A. I'd imagine if I'm trying to reconcile I would discard all mementos of the A. It will feel weird at first I'm sure and sort of sad, but are the mementos more important than your M? What if your husband had the A and then insisted on keeping songs and love notes from his OW? You'll feel badly a bit I'm certain but once it's gone it's gone and trust me...you'll survive and it may help you in your reconciliation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LetMeGo Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Almost sounds like an idea for a reality show! I am thinking of a cross between Slice's The Other Woman and A&E's Hoarders Outing the affair on national television, now that would be a dday where no affair would come back from. I like it... Link to post Share on other sites
wanting more Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I trashed some. Gave some away. But I keep one thing as a reminder of why I have such bad feelings for xMM. It was a gift he surprised me with, and I can almost see his face as it was when he gave it to me. Happy, excited. Then I remember how much of a liar he was, how my fantasy with him was bullsh*, how he probably had that same excited face when he saw his BW. It helps me keep moving along, it reminds me of the hurt I caused. It reminds me what a lie I was living. It reminds me that the man I loved, wasn't the man I thought he was. It reminds me of the horrible things he said about me at d-day, the continued lies for months after. One day I may trash it, but for now I'll keep it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loredo21 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I did it guys! I trashed the computer and phone AND got rid of every email and love song he ever sent me. it is ALL gone! and i feel great! for now. (isn't this when they usually decide to come back? ya know, the radar?) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LetMeGo Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I did it guys! I trashed the computer and phone AND got rid of every email and love song he ever sent me. it is ALL gone! and i feel great! for now. (isn't this when they usually decide to come back? ya know, the radar?) Well done Loredo!!!! It does feel great doesn't it. BTW just found a hairdryer that was left by her in the bathroom cupboard...guess where that went minutes after the discovery? Don't worry ladies it was only a cheapy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenPrincess Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I did it guys! I trashed the computer and phone AND got rid of every email and love song he ever sent me. it is ALL gone! and i feel great! for now. (isn't this when they usually decide to come back? ya know, the radar?) Wow great job!!! I was really proud of myself...today I took out an old credit card & a post it came out that had the list of all our potential planned dates/cities through April and I promptly threw it in the trash instead of thinking about what could've been. Baby steps... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LetMeGo Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Wow great job!!! I was really proud of myself...today I took out an old credit card & a post it came out that had the list of all our potential planned dates/cities through April and I promptly threw it in the trash instead of thinking about what could've been. Baby steps... Well done Princess (I don't believe you are broken)!!! These baby steps have a very huge impact that are both short and long term. Maybe we need a "Bin Bag support group" on LS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 deleted everything. all the emails, texts, photos went before i sent the final email. he was saying something about sending me a tshirt and a couple of cds before i broke it off. i told him to hold on to them... and that he could give me those when we see each other in person (i have already decided by then that wasn't going to happen again) the thing that got me about a tshirt... it was going to be too big for me. he said i could wear it as a nightie... ...next to my husband. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loredo21 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 deleted everything. all the emails, texts, photos went before i sent the final email. he was saying something about sending me a tshirt and a couple of cds before i broke it off. i told him to hold on to them... and that he could give me those when we see each other in person (i have already decided by then that wasn't going to happen again) the thing that got me about a tshirt... it was going to be too big for me. he said i could wear it as a nightie... ...next to my husband. ODD! Do you know MOM had a wristband from the first concert he and I went to around his stick shift in his car AND a photo of us in his visor! IN his car that I am sure his wife was a passenger in at many many times. Such BALLS! Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Outing the affair on national television, now that would be a dday where no affair would come back from. I like it... there is a show like that. It is called " Cheaters." Forget which channel airs it. Can't watch it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ODD! Do you know MOM had a wristband from the first concert he and I went to around his stick shift in his car AND a photo of us in his visor! IN his car that I am sure his wife was a passenger in at many many times. Such BALLS! NOT GOOD, not good, not good ladies! Not a good sign at all. It's one of rebellion, not true love, to risk ramming the affair in someone's face ( the spouse) to do that. that means the affair is more about hurting the spouse for not loving them enough, than it means they love you. That's a big flag you are being used as a means to an end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
promises Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 NOT GOOD, not good, not good ladies! Not a good sign at all. It's one of rebellion, not true love, to risk ramming the affair in someone's face ( the spouse) to do that. that means the affair is more about hurting the spouse for not loving them enough, than it means they love you. That's a big flag you are being used as a means to an end. Yep. I honestly believe he told her that he was in love with someone else to hurt her for some reason. Twisted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loredo21 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 it's hard for me to pick apart everything he did or didn't do or said or didn't say. during the A it all seemed so heartfelt, honest (between us), and romantic. I'm so glad I am moving beyond all of that bull crap. The things MOM did out of his own poor, insecure, rebellion, sick little boy mind is all on him now. I don't have to worry about it anymore. I have enough to worry about with my own *insert above (except I'm a girl)* mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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