Hrting Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 So my story goes like this... I had been dating this girl I met from a certain website for singles with herpes (yes i have it) and began a long distance relationship two hours away from eachother. The first 3 months of the relationship or so were great, we spent ever other weekend with eachother and seemed like we liked eachother very much. Thing started to change around the 4 month mark into the relationship, she started acting different, and not wanting to get together as often. I kind of dismissed it at the time not thinking much about it, as she was prob busy with school and work. Around december things took a turn for the worst with arguing over the phone and not getting along when we were together, but it was all her attitude, as I had done nothing wrong so I expected she was up to somthing. Fast forward to after new years where I found out through her facebook that she tried to hide pics of her making out with some dude, I confront her about it she said she was really drunk and upset about the way things had been going and made a mistake that night. Of course I was pissed and didnt talk to her for about a week, while she called everyday begging to get back together. I finally gave in and let her come visit me. So while she was at my house she fell asleep while we watched a movie so I snooped through her phone to find that she had been talkng to "new years eve guy" for two months! I called her out and we got into a big fight, with her leaving the next morning. I was furious and very hurt at the same time. So my question is, Should I contact this dude and tell him that she has the herpes and to stay away? She still calls me pleading to get back together and swares they are done, but little does she know, I know they are still together through a certain social media network. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I dont think its your place to tell him - but I also believe he has a right to know (assuming he doesn't already) This may be a bit passive aggressive, but can you let him know in a way that doesn't make you look like a "hater" and not vengeful ? Maybe send him a link anonymously to her profile on the herpes dating site? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 i dont think you care about no dude. you just wants to mess her up cause yu are mad about the situation. yes the dude should know , but its her and his responsability to deal with that. its over main your own herpes and take care of it. and be shore you tell your up comming gf about yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 or do the above and leave it. even thou i think its not your responsability. at a certain point i think people should start looking first when and with who they spread their leggs. so this dude.2. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hrting Posted January 29, 2013 Author Share Posted January 29, 2013 Yes, I am super responsible with mine... Unlike her, I know for a fact she has not told him, or ever will. And yeah, my intentions of telling him would not because I give a **** about that guy, but to ruin it for her like she ruined our relationship by cheating and lie about it. I just think that would be the ultimate revenge in a sense.. I dont know 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 So my question is, Should I contact this dude and tell him that she has the herpes and to stay away? She still calls me pleading to get back together and swares they are done, but little does she know, I know they are still together through a certain social media network. No, ou should just remove her completely from your life. That also means letting go of wanting to take revenge, getting back at her etc. When she is with him, let him be and he will find out how she is. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 (edited) Yes, I am super responsible with mine... Unlike her, I know for a fact she has not told him, or ever will. And yeah, my intentions of telling him would not because I give a **** about that guy, but to ruin it for her like she ruined our relationship by cheating and lie about it. I just think that would be the ultimate revenge in a sense.. I dont know Hrting, I am very sorry you are hurting. You just have to try and step back, realise that you took a risk, putting yourself out there for this girl. She sounds like she isn't really ready for a serious relationship or it may be that she doesn't believe that you two have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship. Either way, she could have informed you of this other guy. While, my thoughts are that this other guy is entitled to know about the std, I also don't believe that revenge is going to help you to feel any better about this situation. If you tell him about the std, it should'nt be to get revenge. Edited January 29, 2013 by skywriter Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 So my question is, Should I contact this dude and tell him that she has the herpes and to stay away? Yes, I would. Unless the guy knew you were in the picture and didn't care. But even then that would be pretty cold. But fitting justice for someone who doesn't care whose committed partner they bone, eh? But yes, if he is an innocent in all of this, don't let him contract herpes from a lying cheating skank. She still calls me pleading to get back together and swares they are done, but little does she know, I know they are still together through a certain social media network. Then tell her you know and then tell her to F off. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Unless the guy is your friend, it doesn't help much to tell him. So he'll avoid the herpes but someone else will just take his place. Also, ugggghhhhhhhhhh. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Let it go, move on. Block her number and email. No need to be bothered by her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Ok here's what I'd do, but I'm sorta bitter/practically a cartoon evil genius. I would give it some time. Revenge is a dish best served cold, right? Well so is herpes. If he hasn't got it already, he will. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Unless the guy is your friend, it doesn't help much to tell him. So he'll avoid the herpes but someone else will just take his place. Also, ugggghhhhhhhhhh. So that makes it ok to know that she will probably infect him? Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hrting Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 I know it sounds really bitter of me to wish that on him just so she can have nasty drama unfold on her. But... On the other hand, I have a small will inside of me who wants to be the one responsible for her new relationship not working out (telling him her secret) not sure if it will even make me feel better, just want her to feel how much it is to hurt.. I think In the end I might just let it be and in the future not even give her the satisfaction of me responding to any of her calls/texts 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Samilia Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 So my story goes like this... I had been dating this girl I met from a certain website for singles with herpes (yes i have it) and began a long distance relationship two hours away from eachother. The first 3 months of the relationship or so were great, we spent ever other weekend with eachother and seemed like we liked eachother very much. Thing started to change around the 4 month mark into the relationship, she started acting different, and not wanting to get together as often. I kind of dismissed it at the time not thinking much about it, as she was prob busy with school and work. Around december things took a turn for the worst with arguing over the phone and not getting along when we were together, but it was all her attitude, as I had done nothing wrong so I expected she was up to somthing. Fast forward to after new years where I found out through her facebook that she tried to hide pics of her making out with some dude, I confront her about it she said she was really drunk and upset about the way things had been going and made a mistake that night. Of course I was pissed and didnt talk to her for about a week, while she called everyday begging to get back together. I finally gave in and let her come visit me. So while she was at my house she fell asleep while we watched a movie so I snooped through her phone to find that she had been talkng to "new years eve guy" for two months! I called her out and we got into a big fight, with her leaving the next morning. I was furious and very hurt at the same time. So my question is, Should I contact this dude and tell him that she has the herpes and to stay away? She still calls me pleading to get back together and swares they are done, but little does she know, I know they are still together through a certain social media network. A dating site for people with herpes? I'll be damned. That's a great idea though. I feel it's not your place to tell, you'd look like a major db.. however if I was in his shoes I'd like to know. Assuming he doesn't already. Link to post Share on other sites
bob the brave Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 It depends. If you think NYEG knows about you two, don't tell him and let karma do it's thing. If you think he is innocent, then warn him. But, don't do it to get back at her. Com'on, you're surprised someone from a a herpes website cheated on you? Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Talak7 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Considering there are legal ramifications for not telling people about herpes and other diseases in a variety of states - I would definitely inform the guy. But for ****s sake just do it like this "Hi. I have no intention of causing problems - but my ex girlfriend is XXXX, and we met on a herpes dating site. I was under the impression based on our conversation she hasn't let you know about her disease. I don't want to scare you or cause problems - I just want you to be aware. Best of luck" I think that's beyond reasonable... and if I was the guy...I would REALLY appreciate it.... plus, if it makes you feel any better, it's likely going to side-effect ruin their "relationship"..... Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I bet down the road, that poor bastard from New Year's Eve will have wished you told him...for the rest of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 That's a tough one. As far as revenge goes, the best revenge is to not bother with her, especially where she keeps calling you. As a decent person, I might give the guy a heads up so at least he knows. Then there's the question of whether or not HE has an SO he's messing around on? I'd hate to see her catch it. Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Piss on her. Think about the dude. If had the opportunity to save someone from a life-long incurable disease, I would jump on it without a second thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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