Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I went to dinner with a good female friend of mine, who also happens to be friends with my ex. When my ex left, she completely changed. Drinking more, hanging out with new people, dating someone much older than her. She lost her job back in October, and she also dropped out of college My friends informs me today that my ex no longer has a car, and has dyed her hair blonde (she was a gorgeous brunette). I mean, wow. Every time I hear something about her, it blows my mind. Even my friend, says my ex is not the girl I met. I thought that was just something I thought. But my friend agrees. Her words: "She's not the girl you met. She's not [name] anymore". My ex has ditched her too, as they used to be best of friends, now they rarely talk. I mean, when I hear these things, I wonder what it all means, if anything. I mean, does anyone else have experiences with ex's just becoming totally different people? I mean, what happens to them? IDK, I still have feelings for her, I admit. So I guess that's why I have questions. I mean, what the hell? What are other people's experiences with this kind of thing? Link to post Share on other sites
youdunsay Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 do you prefer the her then or the her now? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Gulf Delta how old is your ex again? It sounds sort if GIGs ish and I have to got in a lot of partying while I still have time. Sounds mid 20s crisis and not knowing which direction to go in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 do you prefer the her then or the her now? The "then" her. The drug-free, super smart, brunette, shy artist with a singing voice of gold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Gulf Delta how old is your ex again? It sounds sort if GIGs ish and I have to got in a lot of partying while I still have time. Sounds mid 20s crisis and not knowing which direction to go in. She just turned 23. I have heard of the GiGs thing on here before....but how does that usually end? Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 My exp: someone asked about her, i googled her name and the first thing come is the picture she was kissing my friend. After year, i hope she is happy enough to not come back. She still the same person as before she left but yeh, i mean she deserve sth else, not me. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 She just turned 23. I have heard of the GiGs thing on here before....but how does that usually end? From what I've seen, they either accept/like the way they are now (i.e they've broken out into who they 'really' are and prefer the grass on the other side), or, they burn themselves out, the partying gets too much and they have trouble keeping up with who they've become (and realise the grass isn't as greener) If you're holding on to hope that she'll return to who she was then don't. Again, from what I've seen, even if they do start to revert back they never go back all the way. The ‘new’ them always leaves an imprint on their personality. They’ve experienced a whole load of new things by ‘breaking out’ and these have helped mould a new personality using the ‘old’ as it’s starting point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I seriously lose respect for people who "change" their personality with any sort of intention. Making actual positive changes is good of course... But the formerly cool, down-to-earth people I've seen head off to college, or break into a new social circle only to become tainted with self-righteousness, fakeness, arrogance, etc... I just think "you weak-ass, impressionable hipster". Guys & girls, hipsters & non hipsters 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) If you're holding on to hope that she'll return to who she was then don't./QUOTE] I want that and hope it happens. But I don't expect it to. I do have this unshakeable feeling that our path will cross again. And sometimes I wish I didn't, because it makes things hard sometimes. It just this weird feeling, and I suppose I can't really explain it. But I also realize if/when this happens, it may not have any actual outcome at all... Edited January 30, 2013 by Gulf-Delta Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Now they are with someone else and building new memories and love with them we matter jack ****. They don't even think of us now. We are dead. When a woman has sex with the new guy that is it, game over. She is now intrinsically involved with the new guy and all memories of you are gone, instantaneously. That is just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Now they are with someone else and building new memories and love with them we matter jack ****. They don't even think of us now. We are dead. When a woman has sex with the new guy that is it, game over. She is now intrinsically involved with the new guy and all memories of you are gone, instantaneously. That is just the way it is. LOL Not sure if you were being sarcastic or not...if you were being serious, your post is wildly inaccurate, as statistics on reunited relationships and remarriages will show. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 LOL Not sure if you were being sarcastic or not...if you were being serious, your post is wildly inaccurate, as statistics on reunited relationships and remarriages will show. I am being serious. Why hold out any hope ? It is GONE as soon as another guy has jumped on top of her and would you want seconds anyway ?, no. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 I am being serious. Why hold out any hope ? It is GONE as soon as another guy has jumped on top of her and would you want seconds anyway ?, no. It's got nothing to do with hope, you just have an inaccurate point of view. Women come back all the time, even after new relationships. And unless you're hooking up with a virgin, you're always having seconds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 It's got nothing to do with hope, you just have an inaccurate point of view. Women come back all the time, even after new relationships. And unless you're hooking up with a virgin, you're always having seconds. This is the difference spelled out for you. A Man can sleep with a woman he does not like, a Woman cannot, generally sleep with a man until she has feelings for him and when they do it, those feelings magnify 100 x so once that happens it is game over, as it is for me, and you. That is a FACT. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 That is a FACT. No, you're saying it as if it was fact. There are stories on this very forum that contradict what you're saying Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 (edited) No, you're saying it as if it was fact. There are stories on this very forum that contradict what you're saying It is a fact. No point in denying it. And she and Mr Perfect can have 24/7 sex now. Get on with it. I am done now. Edited January 30, 2013 by Zammo25 Link to post Share on other sites
yuppup Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 This is the difference spelled out for you. A Man can sleep with a woman he does not like, a Woman cannot, generally sleep with a man until she has feelings for him and when they do it, those feelings magnify 100 x so once that happens it is game over, as it is for me, and you. That is a FACT. Are you KIDDING?! Ok, I left a guy once who had such rigid ideas about the differences in how the genders relate. This is just disgusting. And no, your facts are severely flawed. That is all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Are you KIDDING?! Ok, I left a guy once who had such rigid ideas about the differences in how the genders relate. This is just disgusting. And no, your facts are severely flawed. That is all. I don't know why you are getting the hump. It is complimentary to Women and a FACT. All the people, men mainly, who think once their ex's have been to bed with another guy, do not instantaneously forget you and latch onto the new guy are seriously deluding themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 I don't know why you are getting the hump. It is complimentary to Women and a FACT. All the people, men mainly, who think once their ex's have been to bed with another guy, do not instantaneously forget you and latch onto the new guy are seriously deluding themselves. I think you're jaded. It's a shame though, and it kinda makes you look a little unstable. I mean, people who deny basic reality...eh...good luck to you and your recovery. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gulf-Delta Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I don't know why you are getting the hump. It is complimentary to Women and a FACT. All the people, men mainly, who think once their ex's have been to bed with another guy, do not instantaneously forget you and latch onto the new guy are seriously deluding themselves. I also wanna say, I, in my own case is contrary ot this fact as well, as my ex still, for whatever reason, still feels compulsion to contact me about every month. So, to say they instantaneously forget you...I mean, if that happened to you, I'm really sorry. But it's not the case for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 yeah zammo youre a nutty f*ck goddamn Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Bottom line is she hasn't made any effort to get back with you, so I would say move on. You deserve someone that doesn't choose partying over you. Link to post Share on other sites
WordvAction Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Zammo may be wrong in context, but there is actually a point; why hold out hope for someone like this? Is this seriously the girl you want to date, just because you had a really good time when you were younger? She's not the same person, and there's nothing to indicate she wants to be that person again. And don't look too far into her contacting you; while she probably hasn't forgotten you, she's probably keeping in touch to make sure you're still into her (Mission Success). People grow, people change; sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. While some couples do reconcile, (Although I've heard the odds of lasting after a reconciliation are dramatically lower, cannot verify that), I highly doubt your one of them. You're hoping on her to change once again, then realize how big of a mistake she made, and come back to you. I'll end with this thought; is this really the person you'd want to be the mother of your kids? To be telling them of how mommy dumped you so she can go partying, date old men, and drop out of college? C'mon now. Best of luck to you either way; I don't think she's the one for you, but I hope you find the right girl eventually 1 Link to post Share on other sites
youdunsay Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 The "then" her. The drug-free, super smart, brunette, shy artist with a singing voice of gold. Maybe she's really heartbroken and flipped completely. That being said, will you still look for someone else like the "then" her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sanctionne Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Personally I think that It's your exes way of trying to run away from the pain of the breakup by trying to reinvent herself. Clearly the person she was before failed at the relationship. I am only saying this from my own personal experience. After my last breakup I started drinking almost daily. Partying a lot, making out w random ppl at clubs. It's not who I am, but I was losing my mind because of my loss. I didn't like the person i was becoming so I stopped and faced my problems. It's been roughly 4.5 months since i was dumped and am still struggling w it and I feel like if i had just faced my problems head on to begin with I might be in a better place right now. Live and learn I guess. So instead of letting her behavior make you question who she is, maybe realize that she is acting out out of anger and heartache. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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