KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Evolution besides a slow creep requires death before age of reproduction. It doesn't exist in our society. We are stuck with what we have. AH! Good point. I wonder how many of the guys here complaining about "purity" and "values" and "numbers" are going to remain single and childless for the rest of their lives? Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Are you fat or ugly? Objectively no, not according to what I see in the mirror or on the scales. But I still think that I'm not good enough. If that makes sense? The curse of low self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Some women who have sex with many different people also struggle with low self-esteem. Many seek their validation by being "loved" by men who do not truly love them, but rather merely seeking to satisfy their sexual cravings with their bodies. I don't know what your definition of 'many different people' is of course but I'm guessing my number would qualify that. You would have to take my word for it but I kinda enjoyed f***ing every single one of those gorgeous things who also happened to be significantly younger than me. Nowdays I'm more after relationships but when I go to my boxing gym and I see another fit torso I just go 'mmmm:love::love: I wish' Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 See...I don't agree with this at all. I know PLENTY of people with "promiscuous" pasts who are now married or in a serious relationship. How old are you, btw? I'm 38. I've been there, done that, seen it all. Casual sex, LTR, ONS, FWB, and am now currently married (10 years) with 3 kids. I'm 35, and I know people with promiscuous pasts who are not at all interested in getting married, as well as some who have changed and are now happily married (including my husband). I don't know if you read another post of mine on this thread, but I dealt with the issue of how people can change. I am glad you changed. However, not all do. More and more people are not interested in marrying now. You have not noticed that? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I wonder how many of the guys here complaining about "purity" and "values" and "numbers" are going to remain single and childless for the rest of their lives? They just can't keep up, that's what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I'm 35, and I know people with promiscuous pasts who are not at all interested in getting married, as well as some who have changed and are now happily married (including my husband). I don't know if you read another post of mine on this thread, but I dealt with the issue of how people can change. I am glad you changed. However, not all do. More and more people are not interested in marrying now. You have not noticed that? It's not about change. It's just finding the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I don't know what your definition of 'many different people' is of course but I'm guessing my number would qualify that. You would have to take my word for it but I kinda enjoyed f***ing every single one of those gorgeous things who also happened to be significantly younger than me. Nowdays I'm more after relationships but when I go to my boxing gym and I see another fit torso I just go 'mmmm:love::love: I wish' Are you interested in committing to and with a person and be faithful to that person? Many people who are interested however in casual sex, many do not wish to get married. They want to continue going after "f***ing every single one" of people that attracts them... Are you married? If so, do you have an "open marriage" where you can continue to live that lifestyle and your mate can as well? If you are not married, yet want to be, are you interested in changing or do you feel that you would like to be free to enjoy "f***ing every single one" of the people that attracts you? Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Objectively no, not according to what I see in the mirror or on the scales. But I still think that I'm not good enough. If that makes sense? The curse of low self-esteem. Again, many women who have sex with many different people also have low self-esteem. Then, many become hardened because men sleep with them then dump them. This does not help their self-esteem any, but rather makes them wonder what's "wrong" with them in why the men don't truly love them and why they abandon them. I have seen this time and again and it breaks my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamesbob Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 OP, I am curious why you care about the moral integrity of a sexual partner who values you (enough to commit to/with you) but yet you do not seem to be interested in committing to/with someone. Could you please explain that? Thanks. I primarily don't wish to get boned in the ass by the state government should she decide to divorce. I wouldn't have a problem living with a gal though. We would have to move out every 9 years to avoid the common law marriage. Unfortunately, the women I would be interested in are very likely Christian, and will not want to have sex outside of a legal marriage. So I can abandon my principles and have sex. Or somehow hunt for a gal that cares about who she has sex with but at the same time is willing to not get married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Again, many women who have sex with many different people also have low self-esteem. Then, many become hardened because men sleep with them then dump them. This does not help their self-esteem any, but rather makes them wonder what's "wrong" with them in why the men don't truly love them and why they abandon them. I have seen this time and again and it breaks my heart. Any many women who have sex with few or no men have low self esteem. The point is...PEOPLE have low self esteem and # of partners has NO relevance. Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Again, many women who have sex with many different people also have low self-esteem. Then, many become hardened because men sleep with them then dump them. This does not help their self-esteem any, but rather makes them wonder what's "wrong" with them in why the men don't truly love them and why they abandon them. I have seen this time and again and it breaks my heart. I agree. I have had 3 LTRs and 2 shorter-term "flings", so a total of 5 partners. I am mid 30s. All 5 of them thought I was attractive and treated me well. I found it hard to believe that however. I have never been cheated on. I have never been dumped after sex. Yet still I cannot believe when a man finds me attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I MEANT TO SAY: And many women who have sex with few or no men have low self esteem. The point is...some PEOPLE have low self esteem and # of partners has NO relevance. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 It's not about change. It's just finding the right person. Its both and then sometimes its one or the other. Sometimes people just arent in the right place in life, or they just arent the right kind of person for a relationship. And sometimes people get in relationships, but dont change who they are and merely hide part of themselves from their mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamesbob Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 AH! Good point. I wonder how many of the guys here complaining about "purity" and "values" and "numbers" are going to remain single and childless for the rest of their lives? Most progressives wait longer to have kids and have less of them. I think you have it backwards Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I don't think numbers should count. But I have a problem with some women with high numbers and this is because the same women claim: they wouldn't date a guy who has slept with hookers, they wouldn't date a guy who experimented with gay sex they wouldn't date a guy who is stil a virgin at 25 they don't date guys with no male friends etc. If people want don't want to be judged by their past, but if they look honest, they will see that they judge people for their past all the time. The past is who we are. We people always look for people that share the same chararistics as we do our selfs. So if you have slept with 4 people it is hard to believe that someone naturaly can sleep with 100 people when they are your age. Also I don't think numbers have anything to do with how attractive and fun someone is overall. Also Why do people always say: women with high numbers = sexual women? (I wish this was true, but reading different threads on LS, you see that allot of those numbers comes from seeking external validation). I would love women who are truely comfortable with their sexuality, and not be a shamed of it, and yes that is up to the girl, not the men. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I primarily don't wish to get boned in the ass by the state government should she decide to divorce. I understand. Personally, I don't understand why the government has anything to do with the commitment of a person to/with another in marriage. Makes no sense to me! I don't see why there's a need for lawyers to be involved in divorce either. It's none of the government's concern, in my opinion. For example, my husband and I promised to be faithful to each other and live together and grow old together. It's both of our responsibility to fulfill our promise and if we want to someday break that promise, that is our responsibility too. I don't see why the government has anything to do with it. The government is not responsible for if we fulfill our vows or not, so why the government needs to sell us marriage certificates and register us, I don't understand. We did dutifully buy and register as married, yet I think that's just silly I wouldn't have a problem living with a gal though. We would have to move out every 9 years to avoid the common law marriage. I understand, even though it's silly to have to move out every 9 years just to avoid a label... I wish you could just say "We simply do not want to be registered as having a marriage." Unfortunately, the women I would be interested in are very likely Christian, and will not want to have sex outside of a legal marriage. There may be a few who do not agree with registering commitment with the government... I don't know though. Most I think just don't think about why do we have to register with the government to promise commitment (and faithfulness) to each other. So I can abandon my principles and have sex. Or somehow hunt for a gal that cares about who she has sex with but at the same time is willing to not get married. Are you interested in finding a lady who is willing to be mutually exclusive (faithful) and with whom you can enjoy sex and life together and hopefully grow old together, without being registered as being "married"? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I MEANT TO SAY: And many women who have sex with few or no men have low self esteem. The point is...some PEOPLE have low self esteem and # of partners has NO relevance. True. Linking self esteem to sexuality is something haters do to put down people who have had more sex than they think they should have had. My self-esteem and insecurities fluctuate...as Im sure this happens with most people. We all have our good or bad days. However, my ability or inability to have casual sex has everything to do with my morals, sex drive, desires of new-ness, and my becoming attached to certain girls after sex. If it wasnt for how I sometimes feel weird after sex with someone I dont care about, or my getting attached to girls Im casual with, then I could easily slut around a whole lot. And it wouldnt be because I needed a self-esteem boost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamesbob Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Objectively no, not according to what I see in the mirror or on the scales. But I still think that I'm not good enough. If that makes sense? The curse of low self-esteem. No one should be dating you anyway so it removes you from the pool before we even get to your number of partners. If you don't say yes to a date then the whole thing is irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I agree. I have had 3 LTRs and 2 shorter-term "flings", so a total of 5 partners. I am mid 30s. All 5 of them thought I was attractive and treated me well. I found it hard to believe that however. I have never been cheated on. I have never been dumped after sex. Yet still I cannot believe when a man finds me attractive. Why can't you believe it? Did people in your life put you down and were mean to you about your looks? Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 No one should be dating you anyway so it removes you from the pool before we even get to your number of partners. If you don't say yes to a date then the whole thing is irrelevant. MellowYellow, Just ignore him. Don't let your self-esteem be affected by guys who don't care for you, k? One of my good friends posted a blog where she talks of deciding to ignore people who gossip and slander her. I would advise to ignore people who are saying things like the above to you. It doesn't matter what they think of you. What matters is that you are a wonderful lady who deserves respect, love, and you are not defined by mean things others say. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Most progressives wait longer to have kids and have less of them. I think you have it backwards I have three kids. What are you going to do as you get older and the women around you are just having more sex with more partners and more of a "past"? What then? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamesbob Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 Are you interested in finding a lady who is willing to be mutually exclusive (faithful) and with whom you can enjoy sex and life together and hopefully grow old together, without being registered as being "married"? This sounds good to me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jamesbob Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 I have three kids. What are you going to do as you get older and the women around you are just having more sex with more partners and more of a "past"? What then? I highly doubt you are teaching your kids to sleep around. For me, I don't want kids. One given individual is not going to make a difference anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
mellow_yellow Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 No one should be dating you anyway so it removes you from the pool before we even get to your number of partners. If you don't say yes to a date then the whole thing is irrelevant. Why should no one date me? Because I have low self-esteem? Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 This sounds good to me Hopefully you will find a lady with similar convictions who has no desire for marriage or children, but who you love and who loves you and who y'all enjoy sex and life together. Link to post Share on other sites
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