lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Alright, some things have happened. So, I got drunk last weekend (I may be repeating myself here) and told her she was 'cute' and how 'a girl that can rock high heels can get me to do anything,' which she responded "ANYTHING, huh?" Well, yesterday afternoon, she texts me. Her flatmate had plans for a party since last October that was supposed to be on the night of our date. She completely forgot that she promised her flatmate she'd help out, so she texts me and tells me that she has to cancel, and figured I'd understand more than her flatmate. I was freaking out, but played it cool. I told her "that's fine, I'm still going to head to the school to hang out w/ my ex-flatmate anyway." She then said "we can still split the bottle of bourbon," which I responded, "look, I want to go to the Presidential Ball, and I want to take you. Now, I had no intention of going for the entire 4 hours, so this may work better. This way, I can be all dressed up to pick you up, and it'll be cute. So I'll pick you up at midnightish?" She thanked me for understanding, and told me 'sounds good, but she can't make any guarantees on the semi-formal part' (she is a VERY blunt girl). I told her I'd call her Friday afternoon to get final plans. This COULD be better than the original plan b/c originally we were going to have dinner together, watch a movie, drink, go to the semi-formal, then hang out (too long of a date, if you ask me). Now, only PART of the semi-formal, drink, hang out, POSSIBLY watch the movie. HOWEVER, I still have this strange feeling that she is going to flake on me at the last moment. Also, on top of that, her best friend is a guy. Now, she's the type to get along better with guys than girls(not into girly talk, make-up, or any of that stuff, a true tomboy), but I know a couple of years ago she pursued him RIGHT after he got off a relationship, and it didn't work out. She RARELY brings him up to me (I think only 2 or 3 times for the past 7 weeks which we have talked together), but I've heard they have a very "interesting" friendship where, at sometimes, they seem very argumentative, and sometimes, they seem "in love." Some of her friends told me that they have relationship potential, others have told me that she friendzoned him a while ago. He was abroad ALL last semester, and now he's back and I know they are hanging out A LOT. It makes me nervous. I have this bad feeling that if he wanted to make a move, he could have her. HOWEVER, she's into that MBTI stuff, and she's a Thinker, he's a Feeler, and she has told me that she can't see herself with a Feeler in the past (doesn't know how to deal with extreme emotions very well). I'm not going to contact her in any shape, way, or form until Friday afternoon (like I told her). I 'lied' to her and told her I purchased the bottle of bourbon already and it's in the fridge chilling (so she feels sort of obligated to partake in festivities with me). Which leads to my FINAL question. Sex. I feel like all conversations she and I have had are leading to sex being inevitable. That's cool, of course, I love sex, but I also don't want to feel like I can ruin anything with her. I will be in South Africa for about 80 days, and will keep in touch with her via FB. I almost feel like having sex with her will strengthen the bond, but I'm afraid of 'moving too fast' (a reason why my ex and I broke up back in October). I also think that it would eliminate her friend as an option if I slept with her (kind of like "he knew what he wanted, so he went for it, you're just a friend"). My best friend is in a happy, healthy relationship right now, and he told me that he and his girlfriend held off on sex until they both "knew they were ready." To be honest, I'm always ready for sex, I see it as a physical act more than an emotional act, and I feel like she may think the same way. He told me "then if it feels right, go for it." It always feels right for me, but I don't want to make her feel like "I don't want to REALLY have sex with him, but I want him to like me and not sleep around in South Africa." Thoughts? EDIT: I posted this in an old thread, but decided it was best to keep it in a new thread. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 She "forgot" about a party that's been in the works since OCTOBER? Nah. She is flaking. I wouldn't offer any alternative to her. eta: she didn't even invite you to the party? forget her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 She "forgot" about a party that's been in the works since OCTOBER? Nah. She is flaking. I wouldn't offer any alternative to her. eta: she didn't even invite you to the party? forget her. Her flatmate can't stand me hahaha. Also, I think it's for an organization they are in. Could be a HUGE reason why she didn't invite me. I'd say the same thing IF she COMPLETELY canceled on me. She told me she still wanted to do the bottle split later on in the night. We just wouldn't be hanging out as long with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I'm pretty sure I'd call her on it. "You want to shorten our date? Great, we can get right to the sex!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I'm pretty sure I'd call her on it. "You want to shorten our date? Great, we can get right to the sex!" I think she likes me a lot, BUT I also think that she is expecting sex. A lot of girls say this (and are usually completely wrong about it), but I think she GENUINELY thinks like a guy when it comes to sex. Very physical, not emotional. I'm going to slow her down, put on the brakes, tell her I really like her and don't want to mess things up, and see what she does. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 You're going to slow things down before you've ever had the date? Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I dont understand how you say shes being flakey but then yet say she really likes you and wants to sleep with you...I just dont get it Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 You're going to slow things down before you've ever had the date? I've been on dates before, I've spoken to girls quite a bit before first dates. This girl and I are already talking about sex and kinkiness, love, all that. The kind of conversations you have with either your best guy friend (which I am not) or a sexual partner. Second time we hung out (with a group of friends) she saw me peel off the label of a water bottle. She told me that was a sign of sexual frustration, I just laughed, and she told me she was sexually frustrated too. I got drunk, she got drunk, when I get drunk, I get touchy feely, I was touching her leg, she didn't resist AT ALL. Then, she told me she kind of wanted a relationship b/c it 'gets lonely' at school (not necessarily with me though, just generally speaking). All signs are pointing to first-date sex. Is all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 I dont understand how you say shes being flakey but then yet say she really likes you and wants to sleep with you...I just dont get it HAHA I think you're just confused, PBJ. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 HAHA I think you're just confused, PBJ. No...in the other thread that has the same paragraphs... Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 I've been on dates before, I've spoken to girls quite a bit before first dates. This girl and I are already talking about sex and kinkiness, love, all that. The kind of conversations you have with either your best guy friend (which I am not) or a sexual partner. Second time we hung out (with a group of friends) she saw me peel off the label of a water bottle. She told me that was a sign of sexual frustration, I just laughed, and she told me she was sexually frustrated too. I got drunk, she got drunk, when I get drunk, I get touchy feely, I was touching her leg, she didn't resist AT ALL. Then, she told me she kind of wanted a relationship b/c it 'gets lonely' at school (not necessarily with me though, just generally speaking). All signs are pointing to first-date sex. Is all I'm saying. Maybe, but I think you are reading too much into things. These things really dont have that much significance compared to her actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 No...in the other thread that has the same paragraphs... Don't worry....I'm confused too.....that's why I'm here asking questions. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 (edited) I've been on dates before, I've spoken to girls quite a bit before first dates. This girl and I are already talking about sex and kinkiness, love, all that. The kind of conversations you have with either your best guy friend (which I am not) or a sexual partner. Contrary to your views.... you are the "best guy friend" I think your head is a little too far up your butt to see it.... you wonder why you didn't get invited to the party with her flatmate? Hmmm.... its clear as day in your posts... she shot you down(flaked on you)... you are just the typical nice guy making excuses for her Edited January 31, 2013 by CptSaveAho Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 Well...I do think it sounds like she is flaking on you so I would suggest that you not contact her to reschedule and instead see if she takes some initiative. Is her "best guy friend" that she tried to date gonna be at the party? :-/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Contrary to your views.... you are the "best guy friend" I think your head is a little too far up your butt to see it.... you wonder why you didn't get invited to the party with her flatmate? Hmmm.... its clear as day in your posts... she shot you down(flaked on you)... you are just the typical nice guy making excuses for her Nahh she has a best guy friend. I'm not that. I have only physically hung out w/ her twice. And she just SHORTENED the date, didn't cancel. If she canceled, I'd delete her number from my phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lakerman34 Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Well...I do think it sounds like she is flaking on you so I would suggest that you not contact her to reschedule and instead see if she takes some initiative. Is her "best guy friend" that she tried to date gonna be at the party? :-/ I don't know. My guess would be no. And it's not 'rescheduled,' it's the same day, just later on and not as long. Link to post Share on other sites
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