Seek closure or just forget it?

[bob the brave]

Sorry, I've posted this drama before, but now I want closure. Also, a bit long, read if you're bored you may find this amusing.

 

As you may know, a while back my interest in a girl was declined in favor of a rude, obnoxious married db. This guy flirts with everything, gambles all night, drinks till he passes out and has gang bang orgies. He lies to his wife and two young daughters about all of this, while braiging to coworkers. He brought his girl friend to the office Christmas party even though everyone knows he is married! This guy is also a bully who abuses people emotionally.

 

After he and this girl hooked up, knowing I had liked her, he came to me in private and said, "I ****** her and there is nothing you can do about it." just to stroke his ego. I also became very sick at the time due to a botched operation. Then a month later she comes to me saying this guy is a zero and wanted to know if I sitll cared for her. I was hurt so I said no and ubruptly changed the subject. She was very upset by this. I reasoned that a girl who would treat me the way she did and have an affair with a married guy of this ilk is not worth further discussion. Now, six months later she is married to someone she has only known for six months.

 

My problem is this: We all work together and I haven't spoken to either one in 3 months. They also barely speak to each other as well. Myself and this girl used to joke and laugh for hours. I know this snub on my part has bothered this girl. I am not trying to win her back, get revenge, or make anybody feel bad. It has been a while and I just want everyone to be friends, but maybe that is not realistic.

 

I want to be friends and only friends. I want to mend our ways and get along. I think it would be good for everyone. The problem is that I imagine she thinks I don't speak to them out of jelousy, but I assure you it is not. Yes, I am said she chose another over me, but I would never be truly angry or disrepect them for such an action. That is life. This girl has made a series of very bad decisions in her life regarding men. They player is only one. I want to be friends, but I want her to understand why I broke off communication. I feel that both her and the player lack respect for others. I would like to help her understand this is why I could not talk to them, so that she can learn to respect people more. But, I don't know a way to say this that won't sound condescending and judgemental. I would like to tell her what the player told me. She knows he is a bad guy, but I feel teling her would really help crystalize it for her exactly what kind of choices she is making.

 

In short, I always like to help others, but at the time she came to me, I was too close. I was too hurt to be a friend with the objective support she needed. I would like everyone to get along, but not if it means just to accept what they did, how they acted because that won't help them mature as people. I know she knows she acted irresponsibly, but can I really help? Should I try to mend things and help her understand or is all that just too much drama and none of my business? I could just continue to ignore them both and go on with my life, but I feel a responsibility to try to make the world a better place, not just say oh well, not my problem and walk away. But maybe that is not realisitc?

[road]

 

After he and this girl hooked up, knowing I had liked her, he came to me in private and said, "I ****** her and there is nothing you can do about it." ...................Then a month later she comes to me saying this guy is a zero and wanted to know if I sitll cared for her.

 

Can't we able be friends. Who are you Rodney King?

 

This guy was never your friend. You should refuse to piss on him if he caught on fire.

 

As to the girl the bus left the station. At the time the girl entered your life again is when you should of told her about what the OM said. Instead you chose not to. Which was wrong.

 

And, now you regret that you turned down the girl and she married someone else.

 

Unless you have a civil service job with great pay, benefits, pension, stop with the the regrets an go find a new job so you no longer have to see them.

[superb]

Too much drama. Walk away, be happy youre not part of that mess.

[GSB81]

To hell with these two. You owe them nothing. What you should do is tip off the guys wife. Did anyone take pics at the Christmas party? Do this for two reasons. 1. His wife deserves to know. 2. So you can tell him you did it. You need to get over this nice guy approach and trying to help ****ty people.

[Darren Steez]

Dear lord man, who are you?

 

It's not your place to mend, fix or do anything. She's married, Just leave it.

 

The fact that you are over thinking it shows that it stills bothers you.