Is his gf still jealous of me after all these years?

[mortensorchid]

This thread is rather long, please be patient as it spans several years but I will try to be as brief as possible...

 

I have had a male friend named Ken (not his real name) for nearly 15 years now. When we met, he was just about to meet his girlfriend Tanya (also not her real name). Ken and I had met at some point and then in 2000 we really connected. During this time, he and I were going out and doing things together, and his gf Tanya had moved into his house. At some point, Ken would back off because Tanya was not all that comfortable with me being with him. He would invite me over to the house for things, she and I met and we had many a conversation and she was always friendly towards me. Behind the scenes, however, Ken would later tell me that she was not always happy with it.

 

My presence aside, Tanya and Ken were having quite a bit of problems which I think stems from the fact that she is a very dependant as well as a very unmotivated person. She would start down one educational path then quit, she would attempt to do the things that Ken enjoys (riding motorcycles, shooting guns, etc.) and decided she wanted nothing to do with it. They were having quite a few problems which I stayed out of - most of it I think had to do with the fact that she was angry that Ken was in no rush to marry her. After leaving a few times, she left in the summer of 07. SHe moved in with the guy she had been cheating on Ken with for the last few years.

 

Fast forward 5 years later, she calls Ken out of the blue. She said she made a mistake with that other guy and it was over. The other guy she moved in with, and he was a liar, cheater and hopeless alcoholic. Ken, being the good man that he is, took her back and she actually moved back into the house with him. Recently, she has been in a real situation as both of her parents have died in the last year within 9 months of each other. I went to her father's funeral and she said she was so happy to see that I cared enough to come.

 

Then I talked to Ken not too long ago, and things are the same. She is back in his house, he's trying to direct her to do something other than work. I don't know what to say about this, but is she still jealous of me after all these years? I have given up trying to change her mind about me, because she's not going to change anything. What do I do except carry on as I have been?

[Mme. Chaucer]

If I were Tanya, I would be disturbed. Why is Ken sharing the details of his relationship, and of her personal struggles and shortcomings with you? I don't think it's appropriate, and the fact that he does it probably fuels her insecurity.

 

But … nowhere in your post did I get that she is jealous of you. Why do you think that?

[road]

Ken has two too many woman taking care of all of his needs.

 

You obviously have no man in your life so you accept whatever crumbs he throws your way.

 

His GF will never like you because she wants you out of their lives. Yes she is nice to your face. Yet you ignore how she hates you behind your back.

 

You need IC and to get a life.

[2sure]

If I were her , after all this time...I mean you two had 5 years to hook up...and you didn't...that would make it very clear that you weren't going to. So, no threat.

 

She sounds like a train wreck, some guys like that.

[NervisPervis]

Everybody (You, Ken, Tanya) are all OK with him hanging out with you even though he wants to bang you? I can see why Tanya is a little nervous.

 

If Ken came to you and said "Mortie, I've loved you from afar all of these years, please start a relationship wioth me", what do you think you'd do? Do you "like-like" him? Because he "like--likes" you. Of that I have no doubt.