Beachbabe9109 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 My boyfriend used to call me everyday on his ay home from work. Lately...he hasn't been. We'll send a couple texts a day and he might call like twice a week. I called him tonight because I had a doctor appointment today (that he knew of) and knew I was concerned about. Well I thought he'd call on his way home to ask about it but he didn't..so I called him. He acted really weird the entire time, and about 2 minutes into the conversation he said he had to go because he was going to play video games now. I didn't say anything for about 10 seconds because I was waiting for my voice to chill so I wouldn't sound upset...and right as I was saying bye he hung up. [during our phone call, his friends were still talking to him through the mic and he would respond] So when he got on facebook I said he hung up before I said bye. He said he thought I had already hung up. I said, "No. You don't really seem to like talking on the phone anymore anyways" And he said, "I'm busy tonight. I do like talking still, it's just that I am playing a computer game with my friends right now." I replied with, "I wasn't referring to tonight." and he said, "i've been playing this game a lot more lately, it just came out." Yeah, cool. Play the game, I don't care...but he always called ON HIS WAY HOME....aka...at a time when you're not using the computer or Xbox. So what gives and why is he trying to use the game as an excuse? And PS...in person everything is fine. He is always touching me and says he loves me and kisses me, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
SER Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Some guys really like their guy time. I've learned over the past two exes that you really just have to see where they're coming from! Your boyfriend just had a long day at work... there's a cool new game out and he wants to just relax and relieve some stress via the game and chat/laugh with his buddies. Give him a break! So this doctor's appointment was worrisome for you and he knew... maybe he genuinely forgot about it? Maybe his friend called him on his way home to confirm the game time plans? Who knows. Life happens. Did he apologize or still seem concerned at least after you first initially called? Did everything turn out ok, so therefore no concern? If he's still acting normal when you both are together, things are probably fine. A word of wisdom... Don't make a huge deal about "games being more important than me". It totally puts guys off and it comes off as naggy and annoying. Instead, ask him how he's enjoying his game and see if you can watch or play with him. You don't have to like it, but you get to spend some time with him while he's doing something that he enjoys and I'm sure he'll enjoy your company too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Online games can not be paused... that's why there is texting. If you want to talk to.him go to him. It sounds like you want him to stop what he is doing to pay attention to only you. A reasonable request if you were in the room. Guy time is very important to a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I didnt read what you wrote throughly, just your initial question. Quite simply, if you are over the age of 16 men like that are little boys...dont waste your time 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I didnt read what you wrote throughly, just your initial question. Quite simply, if you are over the age of 16 men like that are little boys...dont waste your time Really? He's just playing a game with friends sometimes you can't always just break away from the game especially if its an online game in which pausing the game isn't going to happen, and if you abandon your team you can cost them the game as well. Though I do recommend the OP not get upset and just explain her concerns to him if this is becoming problematic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 Ok...as I said, I don't care that he plays the games And fyi..we are very much above the age of 16... I'm just saying...he would call on his way home from work, and now it's like he is using this game as some excuse for why he has not been calling hardly. He is not playing it on his way home while he is driving.................. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Anybody who gives priority to a game over their GF is acting like a kid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mtlgrrl Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 welcome to my world. My boyfriend became a big time gamer, he wasn't too much into it when we met. Gradually it became more than a hobby. He comes home from work and he will play till dinner time and then pick it up again right before bed. We are in a LDR and you'd think I wouldn't mind as much but I do, we already dont see each other the game has taken over our ''talk time '' ( we talk daily ) so he'll be on skype with me, playing his game and for the past 2 months I don't even know why we skype because we probably say 10 words/day. SO. you can talk to him and say it bothers you and hopefully he will react better than my bf ( his reaction was, I can do both - talk to me & play ) some members here have suggested playing a game with him so you spend more time together. G'luck girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Anybody who gives priority to a game over their GF is acting like a kid. He isn't prioritizing his gaming over his gf. He is playing with his friends. This is considered hanging out. He isn't interrupting bro-time for his gf. Keeping that seperate. Hell, that isn't even the OP's concern. She wonders why he doesn't call her on his way home from work. I think it is because you guys have probably been dating "long enough" that it is no longer to communicate constantly. This happens to many couples, it is more or less natural progression. You established a relationship, do you really need that constant hello/goodbye crap? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 welcome to my world. My boyfriend became a big time gamer, he wasn't too much into it when we met. Gradually it became more than a hobby. He comes home from work and he will play till dinner time and then pick it up again right before bed. We are in a LDR and you'd think I wouldn't mind as much but I do, we already dont see each other the game has taken over our ''talk time '' ( we talk daily ) so he'll be on skype with me, playing his game and for the past 2 months I don't even know why we skype because we probably say 10 words/day. SO. you can talk to him and say it bothers you and hopefully he will react better than my bf ( his reaction was, I can do both - talk to me & play ) some members here have suggested playing a game with him so you spend more time together. G'luck girl. Out of a 7day week, I only game about 8hours maximum. More like 5-6hours though. I work and have other things in my life. Videogames are part of my alone time. I would never, ever, want to play a game with my SO. It would ruin that aspect of gaming for me. It's for me and me only (or my friends, whom choose to play with me-- part of "bro" time). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 He isn't prioritizing his gaming over his gf. He is playing with his friends. This is considered hanging out. He isn't interrupting bro-time for his gf. Keeping that seperate. Hell, that isn't even the OP's concern. She wonders why he doesn't call her on his way home from work. I think it is because you guys have probably been dating "long enough" that it is no longer to communicate constantly. This happens to many couples, it is more or less natural progression. You established a relationship, do you really need that constant hello/goodbye crap? Thank you. lol. Everyone thinks I'm freaking out because he's playing a video game. I don't care, he can play whatever he wants. It's the hardly calling, which yes, I do like. And as to what you said, about us having dated "long enough" it's been almost 8 months, so Idk if that is considered "long enough" Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Thank you. lol. Everyone thinks I'm freaking out because he's playing a video game. I don't care, he can play whatever he wants. It's the hardly calling, which yes, I do like. And as to what you said, about us having dated "long enough" it's been almost 8 months, so Idk if that is considered "long enough" I was never one to text/call on a daily basis, I in fact try to avoid that. "Long enough" for me is probably wayyyyy shorter than what it may mean for you, so I would not share what my opinion on your current length of relationship time. But with that said, if you guys consistently hang out, have a good time, and no other issues are present... Then is this really a big deal? Link to post Share on other sites
SER Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I think the title is why we felt that gaming was the issue... "Do video games go above a guy's girlfriend sometimes?" And someone could've called him when he was driving home. Using gaming as an excuse? Maybe. Maybe he's planning his strategy in his head on the way home, that requires thinking to one's self. Maybe he was seriously rocking out during the drive and got lost in the moment on one of the other days. In any case, he is still caring and shows you affection normally otherwise. 8 months is a good amount of time to get comfortable IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
TheZebra Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 What game is it? I'm a girl gamer and when I got Skyrim... the promises of food and sex couldn't keep me away from that game But anyway, his problem isn't video games. The problem is that he forgot about your doctor's appointment, which was important to you and he should've shown more care. THAT right there is a concern to me. His gaming habits have nothing to do with it. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 What game is it? I'm a girl gamer and when I got Skyrim... the promises of food and sex couldn't keep me away from that game But anyway, his problem isn't video games. The problem is that he forgot about your doctor's appointment, which was important to you and he should've shown more care. THAT right there is a concern to me. His gaming habits have nothing to do with it. Fus Ro Dah 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Yeah I would like to know what game he is playing also? I recently started playing LoL, and that game is so addictive, and each match averages 40min -1hr. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Being a Girl Gamer, I know what it's like to be super into a game while you're in the middle of it and would definitely be more than willing to give any boyfriend all that time he needs to play it (which the OP seems to be willing to do as well). Although I don't understand one of the previous posters who says he would NOT want to play with his gf... I would be SO sad if my next bf was a gamer, but refused to ever play with me! Anyway, back to the OP - I do think it's insensitive of him to forget/not acknowledge that you had this doctors appointment that you were worried about. I definitely see that it would be hurtful, that all you want is for him to show concern for your health and make sure you're okay, and he's more interested in a game. The fact that he didn't bother to check in on you otherwise is disappointing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 I don't know what game it is. It's some new computer game. The thing that also bothers me is that when I called him, he was acting so weird and I asked him about it and he said, "nothing, I'm just half listening and talking" so I'm like, ................ok.... Then I am trying to talk about the doctor and when he's talking to me about it I can tell he's 90% focused on something else, then just tries to hang up as fast as possible. And then when I brought it up on facebook, he got mad at me. Saying he was 'busy tonight' but still likes talking. I think in this situation, I should be the mad one. Should I talk to him about this? If so, what do I say? Link to post Share on other sites
silvermercy Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I'm a female gamer and sometimes I react like your bf when someone interrupts me with a phone call. Also, it's very easy to lose track of time. What looks like minutes it could be actually hours. LOL Can you get the name of this new game and tell us? Perhaps the gamers here can get an idea based on that and how long it is. All you can do is probably wait until he completes this new game (hopefully it's one of the shorter ones) and then have a discussion about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorelai Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 When my ex-fiance' and I went off to college, it was hard to find alone time. The time finally arrived, and I made sure to dress for the occasion if you get my drift. I came over... and he started playing Starcraft. (Yes, this was ages and ages ago.) That one had the ability to save at any time. I took off an outer layer of clothes, and came over and started giving him a back rub. He never took his eyes away from the monitor enough to notice the effort I'd put in. After a few minutes and seeing he wasn't about to hit save, I stopped, put back on my shirt, and gathered my stuff to head out. THAT got his attention, but alas, the mood had passed, and with it came another, much less pleasant one.... which I wasn't about to make him deal with. I can say one thing... he never pulled THAT one again... Edit to add: I will also never date anyone who plays Second Life. Dealbreaker. Automatic. Sorry. Unless you're making enough to support both of us from it, which is unlikely, and if you are doing so well with the game hell, I'll help you out with what has then become a business. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Video games can be extremely addictive. There can be like a rush when you really get into a new game and it's sending all the right signals to your brain, everything else is put aside. Try to communicate your feelings and concerns and try to help him know that it's important to balance his interests alongside spending time with you. It's weird that he wasn't concerned about your doctor's appt, was it serious? If so that's a bad sign, but sometimes people forget. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 When my ex-fiance' and I went off to college, it was hard to find alone time. The time finally arrived, and I made sure to dress for the occasion if you get my drift. I came over... and he started playing Starcraft. (Yes, this was ages and ages ago.) That one had the ability to save at any time. I took off an outer layer of clothes, and came over and started giving him a back rub. He never took his eyes away from the monitor enough to notice the effort I'd put in. After a few minutes and seeing he wasn't about to hit save, I stopped, put back on my shirt, and gathered my stuff to head out. THAT got his attention, but alas, the mood had passed, and with it came another, much less pleasant one.... which I wasn't about to make him deal with. I can say one thing... he never pulled THAT one again... Edit to add: I will also never date anyone who plays Second Life. Dealbreaker. Automatic. Sorry. Unless you're making enough to support both of us from it, which is unlikely, and if you are doing so well with the game hell, I'll help you out with what has then become a business. At least he has good taste in games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 sins of a solar empire I asked since so many of y'all wanted to know lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I love Starcraft, and you can only save if he was playing campaign, if he was playing online with other people you can't. I understand the frustration, but as a gamer I also understand the annoyance of having someone wanting to drag you away from it. It's like trying to take a bone away from a dog. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I married to a gamer and realized it was not all it was cracked up to be. DB and I don't even have TV and I love it. I am an attention whore and felt forgotten in my marriage because gaming was his way of life. Just make sure there is balance. Life is all about balance. & Communication, relationships are all about communication. Link to post Share on other sites
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