Author loredo21 Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 I'm sorry . . . . what!?! i was thinking the same thing! haha. Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 The BW in my case did have a small child at home she was taking care of. It is going to take a hell of a lot of IC and soul searching for me to understand how i could do that to another woman. Someone who was probably just trying to be the best wife and mother she could be. I know H forgives me but I'm not sure I will every forgive myself. I wish I could give her a hug... Just make it as easy for her as you can now. The damage is done, don't do anything that will make it worse. Be as kind as you can, whatever that entails. That's all you can do since w all lack a time machine or other ability to change the past. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LFH Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I'm sorry . . . . what!?! *raises hand* Whats a va ya ya? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Given the consequences for her of failing in professionalism I suspect the strain of triggers will come out in her health. I don't mean to be alarmist but it is worth thinking about the risk she harms herself because she has no other way out. She can't avoid you and your d, she can't leave her job easily probably, wtf is she to do? I've suffered depression and been suicidal and it's quite possible that kind of trap she would be in would damage her mental health at least. It's unfair on her that it's all on her to suck it up and be professional. Ideally in extreme cases this would be grounds to OHS to say its not a safe workplace for her while you are a parent there. In that case you'd be the one excluded. Unfortunately I know teachers with abusive situations with parents who haven't managed that protection so I doubt she would be protected. Okay and now you have crossed over the line. This is extremely . . . extreme. It won't happen in two years, so two years of healing down the road, a lot can happen in that time, a new school built, she could very easily never cross paths with the OPs daughter. She very easily can avoid the OP. It is very easy to switch teachers, my parents did it with us kids growing up for one reason or another. The schools are very open to it without needing to go into a lot of details. There is nothing here that would make this an unsafe workplace, for goodness sake. We are not talking that this is going to happen tomorrow. It is two years. Take a breather. Sheesh. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 *raises hand* Whats a va ya ya? Not sure, but apparently we are very diverse group and do not all speak the same language. Viva la diversity! Link to post Share on other sites
woinlove Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 The BW in my case did have a small child at home she was taking care of. It is going to take a hell of a lot of IC and soul searching for me to understand how i could do that to another woman. Someone who was probably just trying to be the best wife and mother she could be. I know H forgives me but I'm not sure I will every forgive myself. I wish I could give her a hug... I recalled that from your other thread. There seems to be so many current infidelity posts here involving babies, that I've started to notice them more. As I said, it is all too common. Having raised babies myself, I know what a demanding time it is. Sadly, all too many men seem to opt out and look for an ego boost instead at that time. So sad when you know how precious a time having a baby to raise is. Do work hard on forgiving yourself. It is so important. In my case MM's children were teens, but that is another time the fallout of the deception can affect children greatly. One can't change the past and undo the negative impact one has had on the lives of others, but one can forgive oneself, learn enough about why one behaved that way in order to change, and strive to live a better life. It does not come quickly, as is the case for most things of great value. Best of luck on your own path of learning, forgiveness and change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bassman100 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Affairs in the workplace generally lead to unemployment to one of the participants. It is too bad, but that is how it works. If you were in a private business there is nothing you can do. That's what happened to me. She came out of it all relatively unscathed, which I find odd, considering she was the married one, and my boss to boot. From what I've heard from former co-workers, I'm the villain of the piece. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts