Allmylove Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I do not know if my husband is having an affair. We've been married for 16 years and a couple months. He had inappropriate email contact with someone years ago, I knew about it, he & his family downplayed it & acted like it was not a big deal. It broke that total trust but I thought we had gotten past that & moved on but now I am not sure because I think he might be cheating on me. Is it normal to think that? We never make love anymore. It's been nearly two months again. Before that it was longer. He works nights & I work days. Is it possible he just isn't desiring sex anymore? Does that happen to guys his age? Does he just maybe not want me? Is there some way to fix it or do you think that there could be someone else? I asked him on his night off to come to bed with me, there was no mistaking what I meant, I made it light & playful but he said he didn't feel up to it. I asked if there was someone else & he said no, but he's been EXTRA sweet & instead of making me feel better it seems suspicious. What should I do? Am I even in the right place? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 It's difficult to say.... Does he masturbate to porn? Does he have difficulty maintaining an erection? Does he have diabetes? Do you have kids? There could be a number of reasons, but the fact that he tries to make it up to you by being 'extra sweet' would indicate to me that he knows he's "failing in his duties" and he's trying to appease you in other ways. it doesn't point to an affair though, not automatically..... Link to post Share on other sites
Jonah Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Make time in the morning when there may be some testosterone. Get up, take a quick shower, jump in bed snuggle and play. This old goat ain't good for nothing after 5pm... I'm done. There has to be desire, then that physical part has to work- nothing wrong with medication. But just keep trying and once it starts... Keep it going. Let him know ahead of time in case he does masturbate... Give h him time to save up for you. Then keep him buttered up. Is he cheating? well... Your like lost in the woods needing to go to the bathroom. In other words; you ain't got much to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Allmylove Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 (edited) He's only in his early 40s. Everything seems to be in good working order. He does battle depression. We have 2 young teens-both are "good kids" & not stressful or problematic. He was only extra sweet for a few hours until I stopped asking questions so I wondered if I was onto something. I don't know if he masturbates or not. He never has in front of me in all the years we've been together. I do know he used to look at porn that was what led to the inappropriate stuff with some chick he met online-that was a long time ago though. We don't spend much time together & he's sweet when we do but it just feels like he thinks it's a chore. I want to be wrong, I'm losing hope. I tried again this morning before he went to sleep, cozied up to him & he turned me down again and & he was tired. At this rate of lovemaking, we won't make love even a half dozen times this year. That isn't normal is it? Maybe I'm expecting too much? Edited February 3, 2013 by Allmylove ages Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts