Being poor really sucks

[supermom]

I really don't have an issue w/ my husband in general but today especially has been the most depressing in regards to our finances.

 

I am so broke today at work. I don't have a penny to my name. I am turning inside out from hunger and pissed because I dont have hardly any gas for my car.

 

We totally live paycheck to paycheck. In my job, I'm on salary so I can't make extra money by working extra hours. I work 45 hours a week as it is.

 

My husband is hourly. He maybe brings home $300 a week. Most of that goes to daycare so I can work.

 

We are piss poor. I'm so sick of it. I asked my husband today to get another job. He's called in for stupid reasons, come in late a few times, and you know, that's FOOD IMHO.

 

I will not eat if it means my daughter will. I am ready to cry. I work more than my husband, I work too hard to live this way!

 

I think I am doomed to a life of poverty. Sometimes I wish I was single and not a mom so I can just worry about myself. I would never take back having my daughter, but it's pretty pathetic how I can't even buy a soda!

 

We have to plan out meals and hardly ever get to buy extras. Strictly the essentials.

 

I am so down today. I wish my husband would f*&cking get a better job. I'm in tears because we shouldn't have to live like this. I have never really had anything growing up, and I DON'T WANT THAT for my daughter, because it just plain sucks. I hate being poor.

 

I think my life has been doomed from the beginning. I'm really down on myself today.

[Stone]

There's hope try to read the Two income trap it's written by a economics professor. The book has some really valuable info.

 

 

I audit peoples finances all the time and you will be suprised on how much is money is spend on unneeded things ex: Take out, mag subscritions, cable, ect.

 

 

Also check your PM

[quankanne]

blasted finances ... don't know how to help on that issue, but I can tell you that a lot of churches in a community operate a food pantry to help people who often must choose between buying food and paying bills or buying medicine.

 

Check in the phone book or ask around about local food banks or food pantries. Also call some of the bigger churches to see if they have food assistance. I know the more active St. Vincent de Paul societies operate food banks, there's one in Palestine (Texas) whose primary ministry is to help people in situations like yours. They also run a thrift shop with nice items that go for no more than 50 cents apiece, and proceeds are funneled into their food pantry.

 

The lady who heads that project said they often get single moms who find they can't make ends meet, seniors who can barely feed themselves because their budget is devoted to bills and medication. There are also families who live from paycheck to paycheck who benefit from the supplemental groceries SVdP donate to them. The organization also serves as a clearing house for information, pointing people in the right direction if they need something SVdP can't provide.

 

Don't ever be afraid to seek help because these organizations want to provide you and your family with what you need when you're in need.

[HokeyReligions]

I can empathize. I'm in a similar situation. My husband hasn't worked in nine years because he is disabled. He could work - he went to school, but he feels he can only work for himself (I agree with him there -- he does not play well with others) and he's been trying to start a business for the last four years. He has one client. He earns about $2,000 a YEAR! He should be marketing himself, but he NEVER finishes what he starts.

 

I have been working at a succession of contract jobs since May 2003 and my current one is ending in a couple of months and I have no place to go.

 

We were homeless for a while some years ago and I thought we would never be in that position again. I went back to college and I am capable of earning a good salary. We bought a house and I am the only bread-winner and now I can't make enough for the ends to even see each other waving, much less meet!

 

You are not alone. It's damn scary out there in the world. Having a day where you can't even buy a soda just makes it all hit home. I had a day recently and it's getting pretty darn hard to stay positivie when the end of this project and my paychecks is looming large in front of me.

 

My invalid mother lives with us too and I have to care for and support her. Her Social Security check doesn't even cover the cost of her medications.

 

I wish I was close to you -- I'd take you out and buy you lunch!

 

Lets count to three and then both of us will scream out our frustration. Ready? Set? GO!!!!!!

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by quankanne

blasted finances ... don't know how to help on that issue, but I can tell you that a lot of churches in a community operate a food pantry to help people who often must choose between buying food and paying bills or buying medicine.

 

Check in the phone book or ask around about local food banks or food pantries. Also call some of the bigger churches to see if they have food assistance. I know the more active St. Vincent de Paul societies operate food banks, there's one in Palestine (Texas) whose primary ministry is to help people in situations like yours. They also run a thrift shop with nice items that go for no more than 50 cents apiece, and proceeds are funneled into their food pantry.

 

The lady who heads that project said they often get single moms who find they can't make ends meet, seniors who can barely feed themselves because their budget is devoted to bills and medication. There are also families who live from paycheck to paycheck who benefit from the supplemental groceries SVdP donate to them. The organization also serves as a clearing house for information, pointing people in the right direction if they need something SVdP can't provide.

 

Don't ever be afraid to seek help because these organizations want to provide you and your family with what you need when you're in need.

 

St. Vinnies is a good place. I have donated a lot of stuff to them in the past, and called upon them to help me too---especially when we were homeless all those years ago. I'll be calling on them (& others) again soon too, I fear.

[supermom]

Thank you all for your support. I just wish that I could do it all myself. I've been out of the house since 17 and am a very hard worker. I wish my husband didn't party in his 20s and got himself in a good position. Oh well I married him know that

 

I love him and I don't want to feel resentment towards him. Sometimes I can't help it.

 

I JUST WANT TO SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMM.

 

Thanks guys your all sweet!

[Stone]

Good Books

 

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0%2C1249%2C525039372%2C00.html

 

Motely fool you have more than you think is also a good one.

 

I use EBAY or AMAZON you can get them pretty cheap

[Moose]

Believe it or not, I understand where you guys are coming from too. Remember, we raised 5 kids and I'm the sole bread winner and have been for nearly 20 years. We may not have any money problems now, but it wasn't always that way.

 

We never could justify my wife getting a job because the day care would just take that income right off the top. So in a sense, she would've been making about $50.00 in a 40 hour work week. We would save half of that in gas if she didn't drive to work and back everyday. During our struggles, we applied for energy assistance, foodstamps, and even programs that buy our kids Christmas gifts. At first I wasn't too proud of it. But then I began to realize that I'm not going to be broke the rest of my life, so why not take advantage of the programs, then, when I'm making better money, I can contribute to them.

 

Once I opened my welding shop, things were looking soooo much better. Then my health began to dwindle and wasn't able to keep up the physical demand. Hence going into business with my brother sitting behind a desk approving contracts and typing to you guys all day.

 

If I were you, supermom, I would quit my job, stay at home and babysit a couple of other children that could play with your daughter through out the day. Or perhaps even start a cleaning business in which you can take her along. I've always been the enterprising kind of guy....set my own hours, make as little or as much as I want. But for someone such as yourself, I would have to say let your husband continue to work where he's at, (Insurance reasons), and find yourself something you can do from home.

 

There are even medical transcriptionist jobs you can do at home, or stuffing envelopes, one lady I know of personally started a helium balloon and flower delivery service in her bathroom. Of course now it's a full blown chain all over the state.

 

These are just suggestions to maybe help you stay home with your daughter while still earning your own paycheck. I know things are tough now and I might venture to say that stepping out on a limb like this may be outside your comfort zone. But you'll never know until you actually try it.

 

P.S., There are a TON of grants from the government just for women of enterprise. You don't have to pay this money back and it's an excellent source of initial capital.

[faux]

Originally posted by supermom

I am so down today. I wish my husband would f*&cking get a better job. I'm in tears because we shouldn't have to live like this. I have never really had anything growing up, and I DON'T WANT THAT for my daughter, because it just plain sucks. I hate being poor.

 

I'll agree that money is everything in this world, and when you don't have much money the world isn't so enjoyable. I'd be happy for a roof over your heads, and at least some food on the table. There are those with far less.

 

Also, why is it that your husband must be the one to go out and find a newer, better job? Maybe the both of you looking would reap better results.

[quankanne]

one lady I know of personally started a helium balloon and flower delivery service in her bathroom. Of course now it's a full blown chain all over the state

 

not the bathroom, I hope!!

 

actually, Moose has a good point about there being a number of government grants out there to help women start their own businesses or even go back to school. That spastic guy you see on TV (Matt someone or other) has a pretty good series of books out describing the free money and stuff you can get from the government.

 

At first I wasn't too proud of it. But then I began to realize that I'm not going to be broke the rest of my life, so why not take advantage of the programs, then, when I'm making better money, I can contribute to them.

 

like spreading the good deed that's been done for you! What better way to perpetuate or support those kinds of assistance programs than to contribute in whatever way you can to keep them going!

 

I think most people are willing to help, but they're not sure how they can, or if what they do will make a difference. The St. Vincent's chick from Palestine shared a story about a mom who wanted to go back to college to get a nursing degree but was worried that because she was quitting her minimum-wage job, there'd be no way to ensure there'd be food for her family. She got her degree, and the whole time during and since, she would volunteer one day a week either at the store or helping put together packages of food for others because she felt that was the least she could do for them.

[Stone]

Originally posted by faux

 

 

I'll agree that money is everything in this world, and when you don't have much money the world isn't so enjoyable. I'd be happy for a roof over your heads, and at least some food on the table. There are those with far less.

 

 

Amen to that I live where Hurricane Charlie hit, take a walk around the badly hit areas and people cry when they receive a bag of ice that we take for granted everyday.

[Moose]

Here's something else I'd like to point out.

 

Being in the position I'm in, you mingle with people who have a lot of money. When I say a lot, I mean, they own plants employing 1,000 sometimes 2,000 people. They've been everywhere and have done everything. Even with the money they have, they get to the point to where boredome takes over and they begin to dabble in activities that are destructive.

 

I know that the fantasy of being rich is in just about everyone's minds......it has it's drawbacks!!! I get at least 5 calls a day from people and organizations asking for donations or to sponsor an activity. There's a radio station that I donate to that has to say at the end of almost every advertisement, "Brought to you by D3 Technical Services". People are beginning to think we own the station!!!

 

Being rich is ok, I suppose, if you know how to handle it.

 

I'm the wealthiest man in the world, not because I have money, but because I have a loving God and Family.

[moimeme]

With all due respect, Moose, bah humbug.

 

I'm awful tired of this 'being rich ain't great' theme. It may not solve all your problems, but at least you don't have to worry about living in cardboard box or if you can feed your kids tomorrow.

 

I am pretty fortunate in that I've got enough dough to get by but people like Hoke and others on this board find themselves in desparate straits, and I guarantee you that they'd trade the 'boredom' of being rich for the terror of not knowing if you'll even have a home to live in.

 

So, really, if all your rich buds are bored to tears, tell them to start doing things for the folks in this world that don't have enough. It might sharpen up their gratitude for their blessings as well as take some of the 'boredom' away.

[Moose]

When I said they've done everything and been everywhere, I meant helping the community and donating to worthy projects as well......I understand what they're going through, ( Hoke and others ), and don't think for one second that I don't worry about being homeless either.......the Lord giveith, and Lord taketh away....I'm just a steward of His money. Things could fall apart for me too, the wealthy aren't protected from hardship moimeme.

[quankanne]

So, really, if all your rich buds are bored to tears, tell them to start doing things for the folks in this world that don't have enough. It might sharpen up their gratitude for their blessings as well as take some of the 'boredom' away

 

ah, but moi, that'd mean they'd have to leave their comfort zone, and oftentimes, people just don't want to do that. They don't like seeing the homeless in front of stores asking for food or work or money; they don't consider helping underprivileged kids with school supplies by donating to a "Stuff the Bus" supplies drive; someone else should volunteer to work in soup kitchens, food pantries or literacy classes.

 

Why? Because they refuse to get involved, because that means they accept the responsibility or burden of helping someone else. They're against "hand-outs" because they've never gotten one, so by golly, others should just find a way to provide for themselves like they have.

 

And just because people have loads of money doesn't mean they are willing to share it. Because if they do, how else they gonna stay rich? Granted, there are moneyed individuals who believe in sharing what they have with numerous worthy causes, but I think those people are a pretty rare breed.

[moimeme]

the wealthy aren't protected from hardship moimeme.

 

No, but it's a much farther way to have to fall. I'm guessing you could float for a good while even if you did 'lose everything' because you're allowed to keep some stuff.

 

I realize you're likely trying to be helpful, but it's no comfort to someone in supermom's situation to hear 'we poor rich folk have troubles, too'. Like I said, I'm sure she'd gladly trade. In her situation, I certainly would.

[Moose]

I agree with that. I'm just trying to say that wealthy folks aren't immune to having problems. I'll even go so far as to say they have problems far worse than that of a not so wealthy person. Sure, folks in Supermoms situation would benefit if she had more money, I agree. But I don't think that HAVING money is the answer to everyone's problems, financially.

 

Budgeting, making good decisions, sacrificing, (Like supermom said about not eating if it means her daughter can), are all parts of becoming peaceful with your money. Personally, I don't think her husband is contributing all that he can. Missing ONE DAY of work takes 2 bags of groceries out of his families mouths.

 

If I were to wire Supermom and her family a thousand dollars, it would help, temporarily.....then, after the money is gone and her husband missed a lot of work because they had money in the bank for a time, they would be back to square one.

 

It comes down to discipline. I didn't always have it. Now that I do, I can encourage others to tough it out and find it. That's the best way I can think of to help others in her situation. AND, I can also warn them that having money isn't always the best answer.

[supermom]

Update:

 

My husband is getting 2nd job on monday. we want to get capital to start his window washing business for a side job, but we want to be insured, and hopefully this will help us.

 

I'm starting counceling next week to help deal. wish me luck.

 

 

If I were to wire Supermom and her family a thousand dollars, it would help, temporarily.....then, after the money is gone and her husband missed a lot of work because they had money in the bank for a time, they would be back to square one.

 

 

sweet thought, but it's not that we are spending the money on stupid stuff, we just have to get out of our little hole. i guess it's not so so bad, total i'm about $2,000 in debt, including cars as well. my car will be paid off in jan so that'll give me an extra $300 per month. my gparents paid a ticket, almost paid off $140per mo. so thats $440, so i know better days are ahead but right now it is just so frustrating!

 

 

I realize you're likely trying to be helpful, but it's no comfort to someone in supermom's situation to hear 'we poor rich folk have troubles, too'. Like I said, I'm sure she'd gladly trade. In her situation, I certainly would

 

right now, yes i would

 

I'd be happy for a roof over your heads, and at least some food on the table. There are those with far less.

 

Also, why is it that your husband must be the one to go out and find a newer, better job? Maybe the both of you looking would reap better results

 

Okay faux, I do totally understand what you're saying, but faux, do you have any kids you are raising? IMHO to me if it was just me and my husband, i wouldn't worry so much, but I have a little girl to raise, and I want to be able to provide for her the best I can.

 

Also, the job I have is a career that I want to be in. Also my husband and I both agree, the man is usually the bread winner. So are you suggesting that I should get a 2nd job too? Sure, then I would never see my kid, and plus I work 45 hours a week as it is, plus do all the wifey and mommy stuff too. It sounds to me like you think I am just wining, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming you are not married, nor a dad, which doesn't mean anything, but, you're not in my shoes I guess.

 

Amen to that I live where Hurricane Charlie hit, take a walk around the badly hit areas and people cry when they receive a bag of ice that we take for granted everyday.

 

I saw that on the news, and I pray for those people. That is very very devistating. Are there shelters for those people? I assume there are, what do they do? Do they rebuild their houses or how do they start over? Fortunately in Arizona we don't have those kinds of natural disasters. Yes I feel lucky.

 

after the money is gone and her husband missed a lot of work because they had money in the bank for a time, they would be back to square one.

 

 

BTW, this is not a habit, and when we saw the results on the check, he promised that if he does that again, he's gotta be so sick he can't move! lol. He wouldn't slack ever just like that though.

 

I do appreciate all your thoughts and suggestions

 

~Supermom