Found out the guy I am talking to has a girlfriend despite him telling me he's single

[Lolita_Sky]

So we essentially met online. We both have this mutual friend that we know. How I found out he has a girlfriend is through his facebook account. I don't have him as a friend on there but I came across his profile through our mutual friend. Now the thing is I don't use my facebook profile and I've told him that I don't.

 

But he is in a relationship with this girl he even has him and her together in a photo as his profile picture and has a picture of him and her kissing. Should I confront him about this? I'm no man stealer and the last thing I want to do is hurt this person.

 

 

Also WHY would he do this? Is he planning on leaving her or something? He is extremely good looking so I am skeptical as to why he is showing such a strong interest in me. I mean I thought he REALLY liked me he texts me first thing in the morning, shows a genuine interest in me etc. And even maid mention of me meeting one of his friends that is an artist Now I'm starting to wonder about his character...

[SmileFace]

Does it matter why he is doing this?

It doesn't even matter if he plans to break up.

Have some respect for yourself.

Call him up - tell him that you seen his profile.

Then go no contact.

Do not lower yourself and be someones other woman.

[Keenly]

I sure as hell wouldn't pursue a woman who lied to me like that, and I suggest you take the high road and do the same.

[Lolita_Sky]

Does it matter why he is doing this?

It doesn't even matter if he plans to break up.

Have some respect for yourself.

Call him up - tell him that you seen his profile.

Then go no contact.

Do not lower yourself and be someones other woman.

 

Yes, it matters a great deal because I like him. I want to know why he's doing this to me and her. When someone has done anyone wrong they want to know the reasoning behind it. I'm not trying to sound rude but that question is really absurd...

 

And I do have respect for myself. I never said I wasn't going to confront him about it. I asked HOW should I confront him about it. I'm quite upset about it and didn't want to do anything irrational.

[TaraMaiden]

The suggestion of 'how' is in the second part of that reply.

 

Don't get pissy, hun.... the guy's a scammer.

 

Asking him doesn't mean you will get an honest response. if he's lied to you now, he will have no qualms lying again.

That's why it doesn't matter.

[Lolita_Sky]

There's nothing to wonder about as to his character. He's a liar.

 

 

I should have said MY original view on his character. Its very upsetting especially considering how much I stressed how important honesty is to me. Its not like I was rushing into a relationship with him either. I told him that I would prefer us to start off as friends. HE was the one that wanted a relationship with me. Just when I was really starting to like him too, this happened...

[Lolita_Sky]

The suggestion of 'how' is in the second part of that reply.

 

Don't get pissy, hun.... the guy's a scammer.

 

Asking him doesn't mean you will get an honest response. if he's lied to you now, he will have no qualms lying again.

That's why it doesn't matter.

 

I understand now when its worded like that. Sorry but I can't help but be "pissy" not at anyone here, but at him. I mean its enough that I've been through so much with guys. This just completely scares me away from talking to any guy. I mean how he behaved I really thought I was the only girl he was talking to.

 

It's frustrating and disheartening.

[TaraMaiden]

I understand now when its worded like that. Sorry but I can't help but be "pissy" not at anyone here, but at him. I mean its enough that I've been through so much with guys. This just completely scares me away from talking to any guy. I mean how he behaved I really thought I was the only girl he was talking to.

 

It's frustrating and disheartening.

 

Yeah, I know.

This dating game is schytt.

God, there's so much to look out for - what the hell is wrong with people?

 

Is nobody normal any more, with no hang-ups, insecurities, issues, character flaws, mental hang-ups and baggage?

 

I'm so glad to be out of it!

[Mrlonelyone]

Something to consider.

 

How often does he update his facebook? Does he take facebook seriously?

 

There are many people who have FB but don't update things like that religiously. They may have the same profile pic up for a year or more etc.

 

So confront him, ask him about it, and react based on what he says.

 

Here's how I would do it.

 

Just ask him about his relationship history and see what he says first. Have that talk about exes that so many people do.

[Lolita_Sky]

If you really want to, just call him and say you saw his profile and you're not interested in liars. Then cut him off.

 

But I don't even really see the point of that...if he's gaming multiple girls, then he obviously likes attention any way he can get it, even if it's negative. He'll like that he got a reaction out of you, no matter how calm or rational you may seem. In the long run it will probably be more satisfying to just fade out with no explanation.

 

I think I'll take the latter. No point in me trying to justify my actions to him when he hasn't done the same in turn.

[Lolita_Sky]

Something to consider.

 

How often does he update his facebook? Does he take facebook seriously?

 

There are many people who have FB but don't update things like that religiously. They may have the same profile pic up for a year or more etc.

 

So confront him, ask him about it, and react based on what he says.

 

Here's how I would do it.

 

Just ask him about his relationship history and see what he says first. Have that talk about exes that so many people do.

 

I checked the date of the photos. He posted those photos this month, a few days ago actually. He actively uses his facebook. He's fairly attractive so he likes to take a lot of photos of himself. I think in this situation it may be best that I just fade out. He adds several women to his friends list frequently so its obvious he talks to several women.

[Mrlonelyone]

I checked the date of the photos. He posted those photos this month, a few days ago actually. He actively uses his facebook. He's fairly attractive so he likes to take a lot of photos of himself. I think in this situation it may be best that I just fade out. He adds several women to his friends list frequently so its obvious he talks to several women.

 

Then perhaps you should just stop talking to him. He's playing some sort of a game on one or both of you.

 

Honestly the one who he's showing off as his GF is the one getting played if he's still talking to you. I know that's a small tiny consolation.

[SmileFace]

Yes, it matters a great deal because I like him. I want to know why he's doing this to me and her. When someone has done anyone wrong they want to know the reasoning behind it. I'm not trying to sound rude but that question is really absurd...

 

And I do have respect for myself. I never said I wasn't going to confront him about it. I asked HOW should I confront him about it. I'm quite upset about it and didn't want to do anything irrational.

The only thing you should be doing is breaking up with him.

[Lolita_Sky]

Yeah, I know.

This dating game is schytt.

God, there's so much to look out for - what the hell is wrong with people?

 

Is nobody normal any more, with no hang-ups, insecurities, issues, character flaws, mental hang-ups and baggage?

 

I'm so glad to be out of it!

 

I wasn't actively IN the dating game so to speak. But it is what it is. This just means I'll have to be a lot more guarded in the future. Thank you for your response.

[truth_seeker]

He is extremely good looking

 

Herein lies the problem: you're giving him a chance because of his looks. Look past the face. What do you have? A liar, a cheat, a player.

 

Is he still extremely good looking?

[truth_seeker]

Yeah, I know.

This dating game is schytt.

God, there's so much to look out for - what the hell is wrong with people?

 

Is nobody normal any more, with no hang-ups, insecurities, issues, character flaws, mental hang-ups and baggage?

 

I'm so glad to be out of it!

 

I've voluntarily taken myself out of the dating game. Women I'm meeting are just too crazy and jaded.

[Indi]

If you really want to, just call him and say you saw his profile and you're not interested in liars. Then cut him off.

 

But I don't even really see the point of that... if he's gaming multiple girls, then he obviously likes attention any way he can get it, even if it's negative. He'll like that he got a reaction out of you, no matter how calm or rational you may seem. In the long run it will probably be more satisfying to just fade out with no explanation.

 

This is what I think you should do as well.

 

I have learnt the hard way that looks are not always everything. A person's character is more important.

 

If he is doing this to the girl on his Facebook profile pic. I am pretty sure he will end up doing it to you also and you do not want to deal with that kind of BS with a guy. You will only end up hurt and heartbroken.

 

Just quietly end it. You will save yourself a whole lot of grief when you do.

[OJ loved Nicole]

I mean its enough that I've been through so much with guys. This just completely scares me away from talking to any guy. I mean how he behaved I really thought I was the only girl he was talking to.

 

It's frustrating and disheartening.

 

Welcome to single life.... Unfortunately this IS the process to weed out the weak/pathetic to find "the one".

[wahine]

Is he planning on leaving her or something?

 

Nope. I've been in pretty much the exact same situation before. I hate to say it, but it's very likely that he's just looking for some extra lovin' on the side. From my own personal experience, cut your losses now, and put your time and energy towards finding a good guy who's actually available.

[ltjg45]

Yes, it matters a great deal because I like him. I want to know why he's doing this to me and her. When someone has done anyone wrong they want to know the reasoning behind it. I'm not trying to sound rude but that question is really absurd...

 

And I do have respect for myself. I never said I wasn't going to confront him about it. I asked HOW should I confront him about it. I'm quite upset about it and didn't want to do anything irrational.

 

I wouldn't even worry about that. It's not like he will tell you the truth anyway.

 

If he lied once, he will simply lie again just to make you feel better and to stick around.

 

Just dispose of him and move on.

[MyPoutine]

Yep, what they said - dump and chalk it up to a life lesson.