Things.......

[pappaNAGU]

The day started off good, happy about only working 2 days and having 5 off for thanksgiving. Got dressed went to work happy, things going good. I am a TV News Photographer for a TV station, only been there for 8 months or so, but anyway during the afternoon a reporter wanted me to shoot some products for a story he was doing.

 

So my first instinct is to get lights to cast some shadows, give some depth, and light things up. So I went back and on a shelf sat two lights with plug-ins on them - that plugs into a wall outlet. I went to plug in the lights and when I did the bulbs exploded. Weird I thought. I took the lights to our engineers and this is where my whole day just fell apart.

 

When I took them in there I explained to the engineer what happened, he took out the bulb and the reason the bulbs exploded was because they were only 30 watts and I plugged them into a 100 watt outlet. So basically in front of a room of people he basically called me an idiot, saying "I guess I need to idiot proof these so idiots don't do stupid crap like this".

 

In a matter of 2 minutes I felt as if I was only 2" tall and a mixture of embarassment and shame as I was called an idiot in front of a group of people in the room. On top of that, a few people laughed about it thinking it was funny.

 

Ok, yeah I guess I should of checked the wattage of the bulbs first. But most importantly, if I see a set of lights that has an outlet that plugs into a wall - then I would assume that they would be smart enough to put in proper bulbs knowing that chances are good enough that the light would be plugged into a wall outlet, since that was the plug on it.

 

I don't know, this is just taken a toll on me - really depressing me. I try so hard to do things right and things just don't go the way I want them to. What the hell do you do in a situation like this? I mean damn, he humiliated me in front of a group of people calling me an idiot over 2 light bulbs.

 

I'm the same one that posted as Brad a while back on the thread called "Stuff" from Nov 16th. So you have a good idea that right now in life my self-esteem isn't to great, but it's even worse when you have someone call you an idiot in front of people.

 

Things like that, why bother with life? Where the hell is my motivation? How the heck do you improve yourself when you have people behind you making you feel 2 inches tall, as if you are no good and you suck?

 

I hate the way things are, I hate how one person can destroy your day in a matter of minutes. And right now, I'm not sure what to think... I'm ashamed of myself for doing what I did.. but I am embarassed and depressed at how he handled the situation and calling me an idiot in front of so many people like that.

[Nic]

I know this will sound so cliched, but DON'T GIVE UP on yourself. You're far too special for that. Even if things do feel out of control, remember that they won't always be out of control. The strength is in you, it's just a matter of digging it out.

 

One of the hardest things to do when you're feeling like you have no confidence is to stand up to yourself and be positive. But you deserve that. I know it's a lot easier said than done when you're feeling miserable. I've been there myself. And it's always the way that everything seems to fall on top of you at once. But that's exactly it - it SEEMS to fall on top of you at once.

 

If you can start taking even little baby-steps to do what's right for you, and to give yourself the happiness you deserve, you will start to find yourself feeling better in yourself.

 

Firstly, I'd put my money on it that the person who spoke to you like that is on one huuuuuuge power trip. But that doesn't give him any excuse whatsoever to think that he has the right to intimidate staff. The other staff may have laughed because he is so intimidating - not necessarily because he's funny. I know when my boss loses his stack, I find it hard not to giggle - not because he's being funny, but it's unnerving when people carry on like that and it's somewhat intimidating.

 

How high up in the ladder is this person? If this kind of behaviour from him is constant, maybe you should take the initiative to report his insulting comments to human resources or his supervisor. Or if you feel you can, talk to him and state what you believe:

if I see a set of lights that has an outlet that plugs into a wall - then I would assume that they would be smart enough to put in proper bulbs knowing that chances are good enough that the light would be plugged into a wall outlet, since that was the plug on it.

Of course, we'd want to phrase it so we can get rid of the word "assume" (you know what they say, "assume" and you make and ASS out of U and ME. Yeah, it's not bad humour wise, but you don't want them to throw that back at you). If you haven't had this problem with the light bulbs before, make sure you state that you're sorry it happened, but it's no excuse for you to be humiliated in front of others. It's actually quite trivial and petty of your supervisor to do that.

 

You can be diplomatic yet gentle with this. Get up the courage to clear the situation. If you can't, just try this: when you look at him, picture him on the toilet having a crap at HIS most vulnerable. And remember - he's only a person.

 

Also remember - you have nothing to be ashamed about. It was only a small thing in the whole scheme of things that he's been quite childish about. From my point of view, he looks like the twat. You probably feel so terrible about it because even the tiniest thing can make you feel terrible, when it actually isn't. If he says anything else along those lines, retort with something like, "Yeah, I'm an idiot, but I'm good at my job". Take the mickey out of yourself to show him it's not going to get you down, but at the same time, remind yourself of your good qualities. Because you have so many of them.

 

I haven't read your last post yet, but if things are really starting to get you down, have you tried counselling? Don't be afraid to get some (I did for a while, and it was a huge relief). An objective point of view can often be the best point of view. Or visit your doctor if the depression is becoming too much to handle. Because it is treatable and things will only get better for you. Trust me.

[Tony T]

I worked as a news photographer/reporter for a television station in the 13th largest market and never ever did we use 30 watt bulbs for anything that I can recall. Any person would have gone ahead and plugged them into an outlet and what you did was absolutely reasonable.

 

As far as the engineer's bad manners and rudeness, your feelings are YOUR fault. You made the decision to feel bad because of what he said and how he said it. Your feelings had NOTHING to do with him, only with you. We make the decision on how we respond to all stimuli during our day. If your day was going great, it was absolutely INSANE to let some ignorant, scumbag engineer, probably union and pissed off that you touched something, have such a dramatic effect on how you feel. He probably wouldn't have said anything if he hadn't had an audience. He also showed his own incredible stupidity and lack of class.

 

People who make demeaning remarks like that do so only to make themselves feel superior. Engineers at television stations like to feel like Gods, mostly because they rarely get recognition and people in TV land don't even know they exist. They have an identity crisis. They are jealous of the newsies who get to go outside the station, gather video in all kinds of exciting circumstances and get instant on-air recognition for their efforts.

 

So you have to ask yourself why you would be so cruel to your own self to make yourself feel so bad. It was NOT the engineer. If we went through life at the total mercy of other people and how they dictated that we feel, we would have no free will and we would be pretty bad off. In this circumstance, I would NOT have given this jerk the satisfaction of knowing I decided to feel bad about his remark. I would have told him I appreciate very much him telling me what happened, I probably would have told him I needed to talk to the General Manager about rude-proofing the engineering department so co-workers wouldn't try to embarass employees in front of others.

 

You are not responsible for this engineer's rudeness, immaturity, insecurity, etc. But you are responsible for the way you feel. Chosing to feel bad and ruin your day because of the remark of some guy who is the REAL idiot in this scenario is just plain crazy.

 

If you don't learn now, you will learn later on, or you will die without knowing. We are all individually responsible for the way we feel. Feelings are a decision. We don't realize this because we are trained as children to jump to feelings automatically without thinking. But if you look at people of different personalities, you will notice some that hardly ever get upset. These are the people that rationally control how they feel, who chose to seldom feel bad, and who react in emotionally healthy ways to the environment.

 

Believe it or not, there are many people who go to their graves actually thinking it was OTHER people who made them mad, embarassed, depressed, guilty, jealous, etc. Nobody ever told them it was their own decision to feel those things.

 

You could have reacted by laughing at yourself, you could have just seen this as a mistake you made, but to me it was something 99 percent of the people in the station would have done. You are NOT an idiot. If I called you a giraffe, would that make you a giraffe? Giving other people the power to devastate you and ruin your day is grounds for committment to an institution. It is insane.

 

I hope you will make the conscious decision to be happy today and not to react to other people's rudeness. Don't make snap emotional decisions that will put your day in a tailspin. You be the captain of your feelings.

 

Go to a bookstore and buy (or order) "How to Practically Never Upset Yourself About Anything" by Albert Ellis. Read a few pages here and there in your spare time. You will be absolutely pleased with the person you will become and you'll never be embarassed, depressed or upset again.

 

You only go around this planet once. To allow anyone, especially some puny engineer with an inferiority complex, to make you feel bad and ruin your day IS NOT something you ever ever want to do again.

 

You say in your post that you "hate how one person can destroy your day in a matter of minutes." I agree that you shouldn't hate yourself because that's excatly what YOU did to YOURSELF.

 

Now if you feel bad because you read this post and I implied you might be insane, you still need a lot of work. I used those references to insanity only to make a point. You may just be a very sensitive artist. You better get over it. We are in a cruel world here. Get a handle on yourself and start taking control over your own brain and how it deals with things emotionally.

 

And what market do you work in where they let staff off five days for Thanksgiving weekend??? You must live in a real crap town because news still happens on holidays in most places. (Assuming some of that is vacation or comp time) But don't let me make you feel guilty because you are off, unless, of course, you are going to give some total stranger on the Internet power to make you feel bad. Hey, I'll take whatever power I can get.

 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving holiday!!! And start laughing at the world, it's pretty damned funny!!!

[Deejette]

You can confront this engineer and tell him you do not appreciate his comments, humiliating you in front of a room full of people. You can tell him you realized you made a mistake and that he probably makes mistakes too. He is not perfect and he knows it.

 

Actually, the other people in the room probably were thinking what an ass this guy is. People who go off on other people like that only show themselves up as being out of control power freaks. His behavior was poor and anyone with any smarts would see that he is the idiot, not you. So, you can take some comfort in that.

I worked as a news photographer/reporter for a television station in the 13th largest market and never ever did we use 30 watt bulbs for anything that I can recall. Any person would have gone ahead and plugged them into an outlet and what you did was absolutely reasonable. As far as the engineer's bad manners and rudeness, your feelings are YOUR fault. You made the decision to feel bad because of what he said and how he said it. Your feelings had NOTHING to do with him, only with you. We make the decision on how we respond to all stimuli during our day. If your day was going great, it was absolutely INSANE to let some ignorant, scumbag engineer, probably union and pissed off that you touched something, have such a dramatic effect on how you feel. He probably wouldn't have said anything if he hadn't had an audience. He also showed his own incredible stupidity and lack of class. People who make demeaning remarks like that do so only to make themselves feel superior. Engineers at television stations like to feel like Gods, mostly because they rarely get recognition and people in TV land don't even know they exist. They have an identity crisis. They are jealous of the newsies who get to go outside the station, gather video in all kinds of exciting circumstances and get instant on-air recognition for their efforts.

 

So you have to ask yourself why you would be so cruel to your own self to make yourself feel so bad. It was NOT the engineer. If we went through life at the total mercy of other people and how they dictated that we feel, we would have no free will and we would be pretty bad off. In this circumstance, I would NOT have given this jerk the satisfaction of knowing I decided to feel bad about his remark. I would have told him I appreciate very much him telling me what happened, I probably would have told him I needed to talk to the General Manager about rude-proofing the engineering department so co-workers wouldn't try to embarass employees in front of others.

 

You are not responsible for this engineer's rudeness, immaturity, insecurity, etc. But you are responsible for the way you feel. Chosing to feel bad and ruin your day because of the remark of some guy who is the REAL idiot in this scenario is just plain crazy. If you don't learn now, you will learn later on, or you will die without knowing. We are all individually responsible for the way we feel. Feelings are a decision. We don't realize this because we are trained as children to jump to feelings automatically without thinking. But if you look at people of different personalities, you will notice some that hardly ever get upset. These are the people that rationally control how they feel, who chose to seldom feel bad, and who react in emotionally healthy ways to the environment.

 

Believe it or not, there are many people who go to their graves actually thinking it was OTHER people who made them mad, embarassed, depressed, guilty, jealous, etc. Nobody ever told them it was their own decision to feel those things. You could have reacted by laughing at yourself, you could have just seen this as a mistake you made, but to me it was something 99 percent of the people in the station would have done. You are NOT an idiot. If I called you a giraffe, would that make you a giraffe? Giving other people the power to devastate you and ruin your day is grounds for committment to an institution. It is insane.

 

I hope you will make the conscious decision to be happy today and not to react to other people's rudeness. Don't make snap emotional decisions that will put your day in a tailspin. You be the captain of your feelings. Go to a bookstore and buy (or order) "How to Practically Never Upset Yourself About Anything" by Albert Ellis. Read a few pages here and there in your spare time. You will be absolutely pleased with the person you will become and you'll never be embarassed, depressed or upset again. You only go around this planet once. To allow anyone, especially some puny engineer with an inferiority complex, to make you feel bad and ruin your day IS NOT something you ever ever want to do again. You say in your post that you "hate how one person can destroy your day in a matter of minutes." I agree that you shouldn't hate yourself because that's excatly what YOU did to YOURSELF. Now if you feel bad because you read this post and I implied you might be insane, you still need a lot of work. I used those references to insanity only to make a point. You may just be a very sensitive artist. You better get over it. We are in a cruel world here. Get a handle on yourself and start taking control over your own brain and how it deals with things emotionally.

 

And what market do you work in where they let staff off five days for Thanksgiving weekend??? You must live in a real crap town because news still happens on holidays in most places. (Assuming some of that is vacation or comp time) But don't let me make you feel guilty because you are off, unless, of course, you are going to give some total stranger on the Internet power to make you feel bad. Hey, I'll take whatever power I can get. Have a Happy Thanksgiving holiday!!! And start laughing at the world, it's pretty damned funny!!!

[pappaNAGU]

heheh confront the engineer... umm no. Actually this engineer is just an a**h*** in general that nobody really likes. However, because he is the chief engineer and been there for 8 years he would never get fired.

 

As for Tony, after reading your post I knew how right you was. Your post was an eye opener in every way possible. I work in a fairly small market, in the lower 100's in a small town. Actually, I always have the weekends off so it just worked together to give me 5 days off.

 

Since I worked last thanksgiving I was told I could have this thanksgiving off.