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going to get an apartment soon and worried about my parents taking control


Patty

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Today I talked to my mother about my day at work.

 

My guy wants to rent an apartment together.He had my friend translate to me in English about it.

 

So I just told my mother about it a few minutes ago.She said "Well I'll have to talk to your father about it." Why? I'm 32 now and told her to just let me start living like an adult.All she says to that,well I'm real worried and looking out for you.Well I understand her concern and respect that.It just made me mad that she told me earlier that I would have my freedom living on my own and could live with him.And now she tells me she has to talk to my father about it.She did promise me I could have my freedom though,so I dont know why shes doing this.

 

Patty

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HokeyReligions

She's worried about you because she loves you.

 

Ask both of your parents to help you make sure you understand the apartment lease and the utility bills and how to manage your money so that you can't be taken advantage of. That will help ease their fears too because they will be more confident in your abilities to take care of yourself.

 

I'm a little concerned that you will be moving in with someone whom you need help understanding because you don't speak the same language. Communication in a relationship is very important and you have a big barrier right off the bat. Are you both actively learning each other's language now?

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Yes we are trying to learn.

 

His family told me that he wants me to teach him English.I was going to take a course in Spanish in September.I dont think I can afford it though.I have a Spanish program installed on my computer and I practice alot.I need him to learn English too and how can I do that? The only thing I could come up with is making flash cards.To learn really good I think we would have to take a course together.Only trouble is I can afford it.So I dont know what to do.I guess draw pictures on 1 side of the card and English words on the other? What other ways could we learn fast without having to take classes?

 

Patty

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Only here in America do WE have to pay for spanish classes!!! Ironic. Can he not get the English classes free anywhere closeby?

 

Patty, I'm really surprised that your mom has agreed to let you move in with him! This seems like a major stepping stone to her understanding and valuing your independence. Congrats. Just work on the language barrier.

 

Everything around you, tell him what it is in English. That's the only idea I can come up with. You'll see that some of the spanish language is quite similar to our ( :D ) language.

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I've seen on tv a couple times where people put index cards that have the word of the item on it in Spanish (or English, whichever you're trying to learn) and then tape it to that item. Maybe you could get your friend who translates what he says to you to help you learn Spanish and him learn English. Maybe they would be good at it since they've had to learn both languages.

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kellydontwanttasleep

are your parents supporting you? why is it up to them at all?

 

HokeyReligions

 

I'm a little concerned that you will be moving in with someone whom you need help understanding because you don't speak the same language. Communication in a relationship is very important and you have a big barrier right off the bat.

 

thats very true, be careful

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From how I understand it, it is extremely easy to sign up for an English as a Second Language course. Most around here are free, and there are quite a few places offering such courses. I'll admit that I'm quite confused as to why you want to move in with someone you cannot talk to.

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Your mother is just worried about you. I really think you shouldn't move in with this guy until you two are able to communicate with each other better.

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