He doesn't trust me for no reason, is it Borderline personality?

[jnb637]

We have been together for almost two years. I have never cheeated or really lied to him. He tries to catch me in lies all the time but has a hard time because he can never prove it (b/c I don't do it). Everytime he accuses me I go out of my way to prove it to him.

 

He thinks I call my ex on my cell so I printed out the past six months of my cell phone bills and gave it to him. Not one single phone number he didn't know. Why does he still check my phone everynight? While at work, if I have to use the bathroom I call him first and tell him and then call him when I get back. G-d forbid he were to call when I was away from my desk. When I have meetings at work I worry he wont belive me and find someway to prove it by printing out the email talking about the meeting and bringing it home. The list goes on and on. I bring the phone in the shower with me in case he calls while I am in the shower.

 

Pathetic, right?

 

When he is not second guessing me and we are together things are perfect. He even says: "I don't trust you as far as I can see you" But why? He has no reason. Alot of you talk about how you cheated or they cheated in the past but I never cheated how is he so distrustful.

 

Am I ever going to prove myself or am I going to try to prove myself (for no reason) until I die? He admits he has no reason for not trusting me but he can't get these ideas out of his head.

 

Although, I have to say it goes both ways. I like to know where he is who he is with and what he is doing but as long as it is logical i dont second guess him.

 

Has anyone been through this? Can a not trusting person ever trust? A few people have mentioned borderline personality disorder!?

[faux]

You should not have to prove yourself to be trusted in your relationship, unless you broke that trust before. I believe that both partners should trust one another to do what is right, to be honest and open, and remain faithful.

 

Why are you in a relationship with a man who obviously cannot trust you?

[moimeme]

He may not have any disorder at all. He may just be controlling. Do you really want to live this way?

[Mary3]

He is *I-N-S-C-U-R-E *big time....

 

My advice : You cant cure him of this...it only gets worse...often abuse follows when he loses control of this situation.

My advice GET OUT ! You are not his therapist....You dont need a controlling whining loser who needs you to PROVE everything...YOU need prove NOTHING to NO-one Ever at ANYTIME.....Get on with your life and get him out of Yours !

[The_Analyzer]

It could be too, that since he doesn't trust you or is making false accusations against you with no proof as to why he feels this way, he is either plain insecure or he is doing something he shouldn't be. Its called "transferring" or "projecting", they transfer their guilt for something they have done over onto you. I'm not saying thats what is going, on but its very possible. Good luck.