DStation Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 i'm going to apologise now 'cause this is going to be really long winded and I'm going to sound like an idiot, but here goes. basically i drunkenly slept with a guy from work. a week later he text me asking if i was ok about the whole thing and wondered if i though it was worth doing again. we continued sleeping together and he admitted to really liking me. i somewhat jokeingly said it was because i was sleeping with him no strings attached, he denied this was the case. he woud text me everyday and out of the blue asked me out one night. we've gone out a fair few times now and we've shared some pretty heavy stuff about each other. he doesn't like me flirting with other guys in work and was put out when i said what we were doing was just sex and he drunkenly asked where we were and where we were going....i pretended to be asleep. basically, i'm not used to the whole...dating thing and i'm starting to think ive been coming on too strong, i'm the one who texts him now (it was always the other way round) our text conversations are a lot shorter than they used to be and he seems to be really distant in work unless we're out smoking on our own or im round at his and then he's really talkative and likes to cuddle etc. basically i dont know if i've put him off by suddenly coming on too strong,or he's lost interested or what's happening. any insight would be appreciated. that's a basic summary of things, there's other wee tid bits but i've rambled on long enough!!! thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Archgirl Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 He's sulking and putting up his protective manbarrier against you because he likes you and you basically said you only want to use him for sex. He's making you do all the work because it convinces him you have feelings for him and makes him feel les vulnerable. Do the right thing leave the poor guy alone, he's obviously not a no-strings guy, at least with you. But you could also be a little more honest with yourself, you care enough to feel vulnerable for making all the moves lately and to be posting about it here - maybe figure out exactly what you want and find a way to let him know. I suspect if you stopped making all the moves, after a while he'd start again but it would be cruel to let him if you arent interested in more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DStation Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 i really wish that was the case. he knows i like him for more than just sex and since i admitted that i think i've come on too strong, plus i've seen him talking to his ex a few times now so im guessing that's why he's backed off all of a sudden. decided just to leave it and not make a fool of myself with him anymore! thanks for the reply! Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted February 6, 2013 Share Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) maybe figure out exactly what you want and find a way to let him know. He wants to date and it would appear that this means dating exclusively. You put up barriers to this and avoid giving answers to where you feel the relationship is going. And somehow it's his fault for backing off? You criticize him for disliking your flirting, while at the same time dislike his chatting up his ex. He's not comfortable with an FWB relationship and that is your limit. I don't mean to imply that one of you is right and the other is wrong, but you two do not appear to be a good match. Edited February 6, 2013 by imtooconfused Clarifying one point Link to post Share on other sites
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