I Just Don't know where I stand??

[Matty2013]

This is going to be a little long winded. I want honest answers, and please some guys out there, give me your honest opinion. Is this guy playing me, am I making a fool of myself or should I just sit back, wait and see what happens.

 

I met a guy nearly 7 months ago, we have become really really good friends. We talk, text, email every single day. I know that I am as close to him as his best friends. He has told me this.

 

I also know that he is not seeing anyone, but this is because he clearly states that he is unavailbe and not looking. He doesnt want to have a sexual relationship of any kind with anyone. Wants a break from that.

 

He has stated clearly, I am a friend - that is it.

 

In recent weeks, I have thrown a little bit of a tantrum. I don't exist outside our conversations. Like a virtual friend - we live in different countires by the way. I stated that I am non existent in his life. His response was that you are far from non existent to me.

 

Then he said how much he was looking forward to seeing me on my next trip. Here is where it gets interesting. I told him I had feelings, he balked, disapeared for a few days and came back telling me again we are just friends. That is fine with me but I would like more. I am attracted to him but would never tell him or let him know I want more because I think he would disappear from my life completely and I don't want to risk it. The connection we have is very deep and something that neither of us have ever experienced.

 

Anyway, his messages to me are very friend like. Never any intamacy. I had expressed an interest in the fact that he sings and plays the guiter. Next thing I know, there is a video sent to me, him playing a love song he knows I really like and singing it. What am I supposed to make of that. Still he says we are just friends.

 

We are meeting up in 2 weeks for a 3 day break (as friends) I have made it clear that I expect nothing intimate, he said that is fine and that is his expectations as well. But I am getting very mixed signals.

 

Am I reading far too much into this? Would a guy really send a video like that without realising the implications it could have? Is he just not telling me how he feels?

 

Help I am so confused.

[bittersweet memories]

I think you are reading to much into it. He's a musician and he send his good friend a video singing her favorite song.

 

 

He knows you have feelings for him. If he was interested why wouldn't he just go for it. He has nothing to loose but something great to gain.

 

 

Give it time...maybe he'll develope feelings. After all, friends make the best lovers.

[TaraMaiden]

I agree. You are pushing for something he is obviously not in any way inclined to give.

he has made it repeatedly clear that this is purely platonic; it's just a friendship.

 

Sure, men can be a little bit 'dense' about what messages are sent, as he did in in sending that song, but really, I think he believes that you know already, by now, that this is going absolutely nowhere fast.

You're hitching your star to a wagon with no horse, three wheels and a broken seat.

 

I've never meant this more seriously:

You really need to get out more.

 

I suspect the reason you attach so much to this particular relationship, is because you've never taken the opportunity to go out dating, having a good time and meeting other men.

 

How many other single, attractive and available men have you been out with in 7 months?

[Ladybugz]

I think you are reading to much into it. He's a musician and he send his good friend a video singing her favorite song.

 

 

He knows you have feelings for him. If he was interested why wouldn't he just go for it. He has nothing to loose but something great to gain.

 

 

Give it time...maybe he'll develope feelings. After all, friends make the best lovers.

 

So you are going to see him for the first time now?

And in such a short time hot can you believe that you are like a best freind.

 

Maybe you are to naive and desperate.

And i think often when a guy say no and you keep trying yes or keep

hanging out to get yes, they will use you or abuse you

and leave.

 

So if he is not interested i think you can better leave it. and move on.

Dont keep looking for things in him that you want to see.

[Matty2013]

Thanks for your responses, I appreciate it. I know I sound a little silly, but when you speak to someone every single day 2 or 3 hours at a time. Text constantly and email you do build a close bond.

Tell me this? He sent me another song. One I had never heard before and it depicts not knowing wether something is turning into a relationship or not and the confusion the writer feels. he said he chose is for me.

This guy is a player of old, seriously knows woman and I am more than sure that he would know how a female would feel receiving these songs, is he playing with me? or am I still in the friend zone? Am I over analysing things because I tell you that his words do not match his actions.

[TaraMaiden]

Thanks for your responses, I appreciate it. ......Am I over analysing things because I tell you that his words do not match his actions.

 

Good girl - now you're getting it.

 

Actions, actions, actions.

 

D'you remember the song in My Fair Lady?

 

"SHOW ME!!"

 

Take everything with a grain of salt, until he can be arsed to actually DO something... If he's a player, don't just become another string to his bow.....

Let him 'sing' all he likes.

 

Until he 'dances' it's all very nice, yeah.... but.....

[Quest]

Take everything with a grain of salt, until he can be arsed to actually DO something... If he's a player, don't just become another string to his bow.....

QUOTE]

 

Think this hits the nail on the head. Just watch what he DOES and ignore what he says. Also, I'd stop the texts and emails for a bit and get on with your own life. It's easy to send a text or video link and it isn't giving you what you want, just messing with your head. If you back off and concentrate on your own life you'll break the obsession and maybe meet someone who actually gives you what you want.

[kamani]

I think you are feeding his ego and he's enjoying your attention. He already knows that you are attracted to him, so this feeds his ego. If he is really interested why can't he be straightforward? Stop texting and emailing him and see what happens. If he directly says that he likes you after, he himself starting to contact you again, you will get it. Otherwise if he starts the same old thing, sending songs and all forget it and move on. Don't hang on to him. You are wasting time.