Woman i met loves me to death , then aloof and secretive

[bones1]

Ok, i have been dating an older woman for over a month now. Chemsitry is fantastic, sex is great, and we spend alot of time together when she is not travelling for work. But i see 2 different sides of her.

 

When we are together, she appears to be completely in love. She asks me about future, travelling with her, living with her, meeting her family, speaking of love, and we are hugging and kissing non stop for days at a time... SHe obviously wants me to fall in love with her.. SHe coinstantly initiates future talk, and love talk. I am 29 years old, and have never met anyone so wanting me to love them.

 

Then i leave and notice that certain days she does not call me back at all. Its like we are completely in love when together, but when apart she is distant, secretive, and aloof. My first question is how can we be together for 4 days every week , everything perfect, and then monday, tuesday basically ignore me. She keeps alot of secrets, about when she has the kids, when she works, what she does etc etc.

 

So one tuesday when she said she was going to bed early, i decided to drive by late at night. Wouldnt i know it, but there is a car in her driveway. She said it was a "friend", but i am sure it is an ex of hers, that she has been mentioning in conversations recently. She was also mad i drove by. My second question is..... should i ignore this? Since it has only been a month maybe it is too soon to be exclusive? It is just strange to me as I never had anyone try to get me to fall in love and say so many things, and then at the same time play these other games. She also swears she has not seen anyone else. Should i drop her? Give her the benefit of the doubt? It feels like i have to ignore her, to have her interested in me, as if i seem to interested when apart, she gives me the cold shoulder. Is this normal?

[amer]

then it is not good.

 

she's just having a good time with you, is not serious.

 

face it, you are her love toy.

 

Move on!

[notloved504]

i've been there before and i think i am there again man. but for me its not ignoring her its trying to hide my upset feelings from her. sometimes she can tell when i am upset and asks me what's wrong and i tell her nothing is wrong i just don't feel good or something like that. but when i am away from her i get that feeling like she is living a secret life when she isn't with me.

 

the best piece of advice i could give you for now is just back off a little bit and let things take its course. i found that when you talk to your partner all the time they tend to drift away from you. but when you don't talk as much your heart and hers grow stronger for each other. hang in there if its meant to be then everything will work out for you. if it wasn't meant to be then i am sorry i know how it feels and seems like there isn't much you can do to make it work. if you need anything or someone to talk to just email me.

[Mary3]

This is not love...it is infatuation on her part...this is a romantic high for her....and a case of * Out of Sight Out of Mind * ...The only thing you are going to get is hurt here.....and she is doing something strange like acting like you dont exist when you are not around....she may be screwing around with someone else.....Could she possibly be married ? hrmmmm....

[SoleMate]

Sounds like she is involved with someone else, possibly even married. If you're looking for a serious, exclusive relationship, this is not a good beginning. Hold out for what you really want out of a relationship.

 

One caveat...she may just be busy. Not calling, and having to spend time with the kids, can be excused. But the car in the driveway, secretiveness, and feeble excuses, make it 99% certain that she has someone else or is headed that way.