Girlfriend wants to meet up with old friend (who she fancied).

[aworriedguy]

We've been together 7 months. She is very loving and has already suggested moving in together and told me she wants to marry me. Most of the time we are very happy although she can be very stubborn and childish when it comes to arguments.

 

Had a few issues when we first got together as although she was honest, cheating multiple times on her ex and once that I know of with the guy before filled me with dread. But I love and trust her and we could possibly be soulmates.

 

She has a lot of guy friends. I'm fine with this abs when I ask the history (with a little directness) she tells me the history.

 

So when she said an old friend contacted her and said he'd split up with his long term girlfriend, I was a little edgy, especially when it came out she used to fancy him. "Ow, he's a bit of alright" was her words describing it.

 

So I'm out next week one night and she text him to ask him out for a drink. I was honest and said I felt uncomfortable with this but would never stop her. She asked if I trusted her - I do, but not the other guys.

 

She said she would rather meet him alone as she doesn't want to throw a happy relationship in his face. But she doesn't want to do anything I won't feel comfortable with.

 

The meeting is going ahead next week. I spent the night waking up from recurrent nightmares of the scenario.

 

I should add that our sex life has taken a nose dive, although she says it is down to the new pill she is on. This all stacks up.

 

I KNOW I'm being insecure. I KNOW pushing it will turn her off and drive a wedge. Just feel so vulnerable.

[aed]

We've been together 7 months. She is very loving and has already suggested moving in together and told me she wants to marry me. Most of the time we are very happy although she can be very stubborn and childish when it comes to arguments.

 

Had a few issues when we first got together as although she was honest, cheating multiple times on her ex and once that I know of with the guy before filled me with dread. But I love and trust her and we could possibly be soulmates.

 

She has a lot of guy friends. I'm fine with this abs when I ask the history (with a little directness) she tells me the history.

 

So when she said an old friend contacted her and said he'd split up with his long term girlfriend, I was a little edgy, especially when it came out she used to fancy him. "Ow, he's a bit of alright" was her words describing it.

 

So I'm out next week one night and she text him to ask him out for a drink. I was honest and said I felt uncomfortable with this but would never stop her. She asked if I trusted her - I do, but not the other guys.

 

She said she would rather meet him alone as she doesn't want to throw a happy relationship in his face. But she doesn't want to do anything I won't feel comfortable with.

 

The meeting is going ahead next week. I spent the night waking up from recurrent nightmares of the scenario.

 

I should add that our sex life has taken a nose dive, although she says it is down to the new pill she is on. This all stacks up.

 

I KNOW I'm being insecure. I KNOW pushing it will turn her off and drive a wedge. Just feel so vulnerable.

 

I think you have to follow your own guts. Not make excusses. This is very iggy, and I know some people will say different. But your girl, wants to meet a guy (You don;t know). So he has not bin in the picture for 7 months. That is not a close friend of her. And she wants to meet him alone because: "She said she would rather meet him alone as she doesn't want to throw a happy relationship in his face". You are getting played, is what I think.!

[aworriedguy]

Thank you.

 

I'm really trying to stay positive as I understand they we're quite friendly in the past. Went out on nights out and stuff. He's a friend of her brothers too and said he'd kick his ass if he found out he'd tried anything.

 

 

Thing is, do I push it and ask to see him together? Don't want to sound controlling or insecure.

[aed]

Thank you.

 

I'm really trying to stay positive as I understand they we're quite friendly in the past. Went out on nights out and stuff. He's a friend of her brothers too and said he'd kick his ass if he found out he'd tried anything.

 

 

Thing is, do I push it and ask to see him together? Don't want to sound controlling or insecure.

Do you really believe if she says that her brother will kick his ass?

 

second you can set boundaries, and when they crossed walk away. Because if she is going, you know where you stand! Also setting clear boundaries t is not insecure or controling. You standup for yourself. That is never clingy.