don't know how to go on

[A confused gal]

I met with a French young man 3 years ago. He have ever written me many letters and sent me gifts everytime when he wrote to me. When I failed to reply in time, he would seem to be really sad. Though being so far apart, we keep in touch, and both of us enjoyed the communication. We have discussed about how to get together to pursue a new life for both of us because it seemed to us that we could not went on just like penpals. However, after that, he suddenly stopped to write to me without any explanation. I waited and waited in vain till I persuade myself that what we shared was not a realistic love or maybe he has fallen in love with somebody else... He won't explain unless he will, and I hate to force him to do anything that he is not ready to, so I finally decided to say goodbye. To my suprise, he replied this time and told me that he always loved me and he would explain his behaviour to me... To be frank, my heart was full of happiness while I read his letters, perhaps the one in love is just the one most likely to be fooled by love, I don't know. I can't go to Frence at present to solve my problem, and don't like to give up when he give me hope, so what I have to do is just wait for him in the darkness. I don't know how he feel this time but I do know how I feel, painful, hopeless, and confused... for all the illusions created by him and myself. Please help!