Gibson_Girl Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 TheOw, I empathize with you. Mine started last July 4th. Over the course of these last months I have lost 20 pounds (105), stomach issues, mouth ulcers, depression, anxiety... the list goes on. I never wanted the MM to know how much stress it put on me either for fear he would drop me. The bottom line is, we shouldn't have to a) feel that way and b) if we are share it with the person we love. I went through a divorce 7 years ago and relocated a 13 year old 1000 miles from home, but nothing compares to the pain and depression this has caused me. The last week of no contact has been the only thing that is helping me gain my strength back. He sends random texts asking how I am, or insinuating he is in pain. I just delete!!!! Girl Power!!!! I've found that nearly every one of us on here has experienced nearly the same gamut of emotions. In reading some of these posts, because of their near-identical situations, if the person we've been involved with is one of the people on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverGuilt Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 It doesn't matter and I shouldn't care, but I still do. Some days I feel indifferent & don't think about him much, others I feel sick to think he's happily reconciled with his W and considers me a disgusting mistake. YES, you said my words! Pure torture at times. I would rather have a broken leg. At least I would know that it would heal with help of rest, crutches and meds. There is nothing to heal this pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 (edited) YES, you said my words! Pure torture at times. I would rather have a broken leg. At least I would know that it would heal with help of rest, crutches and meds. There is nothing to heal this pain. Hey ForeverGuilt. Don't let what he thinks about the affair torture you. All that matters is what you've learnd from the experience and how it helped you grow into a better person. He learned that his marriage was important afterall and it made him commit to making it better. You can't fault him for that even though it sucks that he used you to figure that out. The same will come for you during the healing process. Pain can be the best teacher on the road to self discovery. Use it help you and don't dwell on what he's thinking and doing now - it's not relevant anymore. What matters most is the lesson in this whole experience. Focus on that and what he is doing and thinking will no longer be a factor in your life. Cry, be angry, beat your pillow if you have to - that's normal because your healing. Take it a day, an hour or a moment at a time to get through the pain. Focus completely on your healing and one day you will find yourself on the other side of this a stronger healthier person who KNOWS what you want and need! Edited February 10, 2013 by spice4life Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverGuilt Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Hey ForeverGuilt. Don't let what he thinks about the affair torture you. All that matters is what you've learnd from the experience and how it helped you grow into a better person. He learned that his marriage was important afterall and it made him commit to making it better. You can't fault him for that even though it sucks that he used you to figure that out. The same will come for you during the healing process. Pain can be the best teacher on the road to self discovery. Use it help you and don't dwell on what he's thinking and doing now - it's not relevant anymore. What matters most is the lesson in this whole experience. Focus on that and what he is doing and thinking will no longer be a factor in your life. Cry, be angry, beat your pillow if you have to - that's normal because your healing. Take it a day, an hour or a moment at a time to get through the pain. Focus completely on your healing and one day you will find yourself on the other side of this a stronger healthier person who KNOWS what you want and need! Thank you for the supportive words. It's like I need to keep affirming myself. And you are correct in that there is nothing wrong with saving a marriage. I put myself in the crossfire. I should be happy for them. Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Thank you for the supportive words. It's like I need to keep affirming myself. And you are correct in that there is nothing wrong with saving a marriage. I put myself in the crossfire. I should be happy for them. Hey, not being happy for them right now is completely normal because it is all still so raw for you. Don't beat yourself up for that! You have enough on your plate at the moment. that understanding will come later in your healing. I meant it more in the sense that it is part of the risk when invlved with a MP. Link to post Share on other sites
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