Can't shake off jealousy and comparision of others

[aaronb87]

I am a 25 year old male about to turn 26 in a month or so. I have had major jealousy issues for a while now and they happen to be about other people that I know or see. I can be jealous of others weddings, having children, better cars, houses, etc. I been engaged for 22 months with a beautiful and special person in my life but still we have no wedding date set. I just get down when I see others have that I want but I know I cant get it. I have aspbergers syndrome so it is hard for me to understand things from time to time. I work as a self employed computer technician and a karaoke assistant to a DJ that is a friend of mine. I guess I crave for attention and had that since I was a kid. I know I shouldnt be jealous of others but I just cant shake if off me. I moved away from my mother last year due to personal issues and she made me watch my autistic brother all the time so I feel I missed out on a lot and never had a life at all after high school. I have however made a change in the new year to start saving money since I realize I had a major addiction to spending money the moment I get it. I have managed to save up nearly $1k in 5 weeks time. How can I stop having these re-occuring moments where I get all down and feeling like nothing will happen when others are ahead of me?

[aaronb87]

Wow, no one wants to reply huh?

[aaronb87]

fine, no one wants to help me. i was just asking what to do but obviously i get ignored.

[whichwayisup]

Sorry I just saw this thread now.

 

Gotta ask, why haven't you two set a wedding date? Talk to your fiance. Maybe your jealously has more to do with where you are in your life, in the sense of settling down, marriage, children, a family - You see others moving on and growing? You feel at at stand still so it is bothersome.

 

Do a daily list of what YOU want out of your life. Your expectations, your hopes, dreams... instead of being envious or jealous of what others have, stop and focus on the positives in your life. List all the great things you have and love.

 

Have you also thought about going to talk to a therapist about this stuff? Much of it, your pain and what you feel you've missed from your childhood, younger years, being forced to help your mom out and being stuck at home with your brother. that takes a toll on a person, especially when you want to live life and you're obligated to be there for your mom at young age.

 

We all have insecurities and stuff from our past that affects us time to time, but these issues are severe enough now that it's making you feel not so good. Time to change that so you can be happier.

 

Hope this helps.

[aaronb87]

The reason we havent set a date is because of money issues. I have not saved any money until the new year came along. I just feel like i missed out on so much and its painful. I cant afford a therapist, I would like to talk to someone about my issues. I still have a grudge against my mother and step father for making me stay at home for so long. I try so hard not to be jealous but it is always there.