21heartless Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Lost a girl I really cared about today. We have been together for a year. Will we ever get back together only god knows but I let her down so bad. We both had a fling two years ago but we both still loved our exes and ended up cheating on eachother so we broke it off. Then we got back together after 2 year and lasted for a year. I feel like killing myself for hurting her. I'm use to always talking to her and telling her my problems. I know our relationship wasn't perfect and she is very stubborn But she was mine. Throughtout the relationship we've had our problems and break ups but this fight was my fault I had recently the past 2weeks been messaging females and sending naked pictures and recieving them. I kept them. She saw them when I left my phone in her car by accident One of them I was cumming she doesn't know I never sent it. She's broken up with me numerous of times and said things to hurt me I even confronted her about it but that doesn't justify what I did. When she went thru my phone she deleted all my pictures of us she ripped our photobooth picture and gave me my half and cards. She said I'm a sick pervert and doesn't want to be in my "collection." She says she doesn't care about us and feels stupid for loving me. the last think I told her was I would do anything to work us out counseling therapy etc. She hasn't responded that was my last message to her and will be at least until valentines day I really do love her and just her. I messed up I was doing so good. Should I just move on and never talk to her again to save myself the embarrassment? Even though she may be the one. I just need some advice and opinions. If I do move on how should I do it. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 If you really loved her as much as you say you do you wouldnt be exchanging naked pics with other women There are some people who just cant seem to be monogamous, perhaps youre one of them. Sorry if that comes across as harsh. These tend to be people who just are too impulsive and lack self control 4 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 (edited) If you really loved her as much as you say you do you wouldnt be exchanging naked pics with other women You beat me to it. If you loved her like you say you do, what compelled you to do all that stuff? What was going through your mind while it was happening? It doesn't seem like you have much remorse for what you did, you only seem to regret that you got caught doing something you knew was wrong. Should I just move on and never talk to her again to save myself the embarrassment? Personally, I think you should do it for her sake, not yours. You screwed up big time, leave the poor girl alone already. If she wants to talk to you, she will (although, no offense - I hope she doesn't). Edited February 5, 2013 by normal person Link to post Share on other sites
Author 21heartless Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 You beat me to it. If you loved her like you say you do, what compelled you to do all that stuff? What was going through your mind while it was happening? It doesn't seem like you have much remorse for what you did, you only seem to regret that you got caught doing something you knew was wrong. Personally, I think you should do it for her sake, not yours. You screwed up big time, leave the poor girl alone already. If she wants to talk to you, she will (although, no offense - I hope she doesn't). Despite what you guys say I do really love her. I know exactly what compelled me I needed a confidence boost while we were going through bad times and I felt guilty soon after that's why I stopped and I had promised her before I would never delete anything from my phone incase she ever wanted to look. I've been praying to forgive myself and for her to forgive me beforehand. I will take you guys advice and never contact her again for her sake she doesn't deserve me hurting her. I pray that I'm given strength to just leave her alone and continue NC even if she decides to talk to me. I've been thinking about moving and just force myself to cope with this all alone and find myself. I will miss her and alrdy do. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 What did you expect would happen with this relationship? You guys cheated on eachother in the past, you just happened to do it one more time than her. You two should find a way to stay with eachother so you don't end up cheating on others that don't deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 21heartless Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Honestly I don't know what we expected. We are in love well atleast i am. This all happened yesterday. Our relationship was good and amazing until she started breaking up with me every single fight then we would get back together like a game. Her problems were more toward her anger and saying things she wouldn't mean. And I had my problems. I felt alone every single time we broke up like I was nothing to her then I messed up I felt like I need more convidence and i did what i did I consider myself good looking and I've been told. But when she would break up I felt like **** like no one was intersted in me and never would. She knows I didn't like when she would do this but she doesn't know how bad it hurt me. She doesn't know that when I would take a shower or was alone that I would break down thinking I lost her or something. I should have broke it off instead of doing what I did. Now I'm stuck in the crossroads of giving up or trying loving or hating. But I have learned something and I am remorseful Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I felt alone every single time we broke up like I was nothing to her then I messed up I felt like I need more convidence and i did what i did I consider myself good looking and I've been told. But when she would break up I felt like **** like no one was intersted in me and never would. She knows I didn't like when she would do this but she doesn't know how bad it hurt me. She doesn't know that when I would take a shower or was alone that I would break down thinking I lost her or something. I should have broke it off instead of doing what I did. Now I'm stuck in the crossroads of giving up or trying loving or hating. But I have learned something and I am remorseful You keep acting like you're the victim in all of this, you're not. If you didn't want to feel this way, all you had to do was not send some other girl a picture of your dick. It was that simple. Just because you're upset about it now doesn't make it any less of a poor decision at the time or less painful for your girlfriend. I don't think it's fair to say to your girlfriend: "Hey, I know I practically cheated on you but I'm still really sad that you broke up with me for it. I deserve another chance because it hurt me so much." Your feelings are irrelevant at this point. The disregard you seem to have for your girlfriend's perspective on all of this is kind of depressing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 21heartless Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 You keep acting like you're the victim in all of this, you're not. If you didn't want to feel this way, all you had to do was not send some other girl a picture of your dick. It was that simple. Just because you're upset about it now doesn't make it any less of a poor decision at the time or less painful for your girlfriend. I don't think it's fair to say to your girlfriend: "Hey, I know I practically cheated on you but I'm still really sad that you broke up with me for it. I deserve another chance because it hurt me so much." Your feelings are irrelevant at this point. The disregard you seem to have for your girlfriend's perspective on all of this is kind of depressing. I never said I don't care about her feelings actually they are all I care about thats why I'm doing NC. this happened at time where she didnt seem to care i should of known she did. if she decides to talk to me and I hope she does I don't know if I should reply or not. I want her to know I care only about her and only love her but I feel as though I should never contact her to remind her. I hope she knows. I made a mistake and I'm aware of my conquesences I deserve my pain even though times were rough. if she does actually care and is extremely hurt I want her to be happy sooner than me. I'm not looking for sympathy for the way I'm feeling. Im looking for advice and opinions on what to do. I want her back defiantly but I won't persue her because I made a mistake. I'm going to pursue therapy to help better myself be a better man before things got rocky I had plans of marring her and having a family. I know the ball is her court now should let her be? We haven't talked since and this will be only day 2 of NC Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Despite what you guys say I do really love her. I know exactly what compelled me I needed a confidence boost while we were going through bad times and I felt guilty soon after that's why I stopped and I had promised her before I would never delete anything from my phone incase she ever wanted to look. I've been praying to forgive myself and for her to forgive me beforehand. I will take you guys advice and never contact her again for her sake she doesn't deserve me hurting her. I pray that I'm given strength to just leave her alone and continue NC even if she decides to talk to me. I've been thinking about moving and just force myself to cope with this all alone and find myself. I will miss her and alrdy do. Stay out of relationships. You will never find a relationship that is good all the time. They have ups and downs. You cannot use "bad times" as an excuse. You cannot handle the downs of a relationship and some people never have the ability to handle them... Youve cheated on two separate women...doubtful youll ever change by this point. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author 21heartless Posted February 5, 2013 Author Share Posted February 5, 2013 Stay out of relationships. You will never find a relationship that is good all the time. They have ups and downs. You cannot use "bad times" as an excuse. You cannot handle the downs of a relationship and some people never have the ability to handle them... Youve cheated on two separate women...doubtful youll ever change by this point. Sorry Yes I know and we dealt with or ups and downs Without cheating. I messed up this time. And hope I become strong enough to never cheat again I hate the feeling and wasn't worth losing her at all. I love her. The first time we both had just broken up with our exes and were having make up sex with each other and devolved into a relationship we both cheated then because we were still in love with our past relationship and we split there was no pain because we weren't in love truleyy yet Fast forward 2 years we rekindled some how and had an exclusive relationship. And fell deeply in love. It's was a year before I cheated though it wasn't physically I've still hurt her. I know I can change for her and myself again I just don't know if I should try and prove it. I've let both of us down Link to post Share on other sites
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