Been married 5 years, the spark has never left. When will it die down?

[Clockwork]

Alright, I met my wife 7 years ago. She was young, sweet, friendly, attractive and all the things I had hoped for in a woman. We started dating and once the sex started I thought I could never ever get sick of this woman because I not only lusted for her but also loved who she was. 5 years ago we got married. 2 years ago we had our son. In every step you always assume the sex and the spark will die down. You assume it after you get married and you are more "comfortable" with each other. Then you for sure think after a child it will change. Her body is supposed to change. It did, for a bit, but she is now 10lbs. lighter than she was before she got pregnant.

 

When she was pregnant we had sex at the same percentage as before (4 times a week or so). That ratio has been the same since we were dating. Even to this day with both of us working and handling parenthood we haven't lost the spark at all.

 

If I were to have sex with one woman it would still be her. I love her and am in love with her obviously but I haven't lost that animal lust for her and still look at her in the same way as the first time we hooked up. It is almost as if being a mother made me find her even more sexy.

 

So that's my story, I have a wonderful sex life, but does it ever end? I've only got 7 years under my belt and haven't burned the candle out at both ends yet. But what about the people who have been with their spouse much longer. Do you still have that spark like when you met? Or has it ended and if it did when did it die down?

[xxoo]

We're past year 20, and still have that spark. It's lovely!

 

I wouldn't say that it is just as it was when we first got together, because I remember struggling to sit through family events without obnoxious PDA. We can be proper in public without any effort at this point. But when alone, we are like magnets....

 

I think some people just have that kind of chemistry. If you care for your relationship, and keep the emotional closeness strong, I believe it can last a lifetime.

[seibert253]

You gentlemen are very blessed.

 

I'm jealous.

[KraftDinner]

Things sound a little too perfect. It is right about the time for the seven year itch. Sometimes women in affairs will be rejecting of their husband (because she is in love with the OM); sometimes they will be even more loving to the husband (because they are so turned on by the affair); sometimes they will seem exactly the same (to hide the affair).

 

If I were you I would be keeping a real close eye on her.

 

No one with a seemingly perfect marriage comes to love shack to ask questions like the one you asked.

 

Something is causing you to doubt.

 

I like cynicism as much as the next person, but...

[wanderluster]

I think it's amazing you have found someone who makes you feel this way and has continued to make you feel this way throughout your marriage..

Cherish it and don't take it for granted.

[whatever1]

Yes. Amazing. Congratulations! Count your blessings everyday!

[Clockwork]

It's not cynicism to acknowledge OP's obvious insecurity.

 

Although he hasn't stated what the reason for it is, it must be there.

 

Generally, the first notion that many people get about a problem in their marriage comes through as a "feeling" they can't place their finger on that something is "just not right" or "intuition."

 

OP obviously senses something is "just not right" in his marriage but hasn't been able to define why he feels that way.

 

Posting here about it, to me, is a huge red flag that all is not well in the marriage.

 

A little bit of a downer, don't you think? The marriage is excellent. No marriage is perfect however and I wasn't suggesting that at all. That's impossible. But we still carry on like we're teenagers in the back seat of a car on prom night. The only question I was asking some veterans of an even longer marriage is if that spark can last forever. Sorry to burst your bubble here, but I don't question a thing about my wife from a faithful standpoint. It was just a mere question.

[ceres12]

The spark will last until your wife gets tired of you in year 17 of your marriage at which time she will cheat on you, tell you she needs "space," move out to her own place so she can carry on her affair, then divorce you and take more than half of all your worldly wealth.

 

So I reckon you have until about 2025.

 

That was kinda mean and a harsh thing to say, was it truly necessary to treat someone like that on here, i mean really?

 

anyways,

 

clockwork, stay happy and enjoy your marriage, don't think about when it will die down or when it will go sour, you guys are obviously doing something right. My parents have been together for ever an eternity and they are happy as ever, sure they had their issues, and arguments but who doesn't think about it is about two individuals with completely different interest joining together and living together obviously you will have a disagreement but who doesn't? and until this day they love each other more than words can express. Be faithful to each other love each other and by the looks of it, it seems you both are doing just fine and it is obviously working out, don't worry you are very blessed. Sooner or later i will be one of those probably asking you for thoughts on how to keep the marriage strong haha so dont worry you will be fine It is truly all about that amazing chemistry and you seem to have that

[TaraMaiden]

The 'regulars' will get that this poster is an old-timer when it comes to troll-olling... I believe he's a 'returning visitor'.

 

New members should feel very welcome to disregard his comments as what they are.

The 'ignore' facility is alive and kicking.

It starves them of attention you know.

 

They can't abide it....

 

I would point out his vitriol is directed towards women only.

At least he's consistent....

[Clockwork]

The 'regulars' will get that this poster is an old-timer when it comes to troll-olling... I believe he's a 'returning visitor'.

 

New members should feel very welcome to disregard his comments as what they are.

The 'ignore' facility is alive and kicking.

It starves them of attention you know.

 

They can't abide it....

 

I would point out his vitriol is directed towards women only.

At least he's consistent....

 

Could be a troll, who knows. I think that word sometimes gets overused on the internet nowadays but there is also the chance a poster like that has a bitter past they haven't dealt with which explains the negativity. Anyway, thanks for the other posts on this thread.

[TaraMaiden]

Never mind.......

Edited February 6, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[Clockwork]

Never mind.......

 

Never mind.........what?

[giotto]

mine didn't last (married 23 years), but there are plenty of couples who are perfectly happy and still have that spark. So, you are lucky, but it happens.

 

The spark, in my relationship, lasted for about 10 years... so, not bad either.

[Millard]

The spark died down after two years for us. We've been together for 4. We're about to buy our first house, so I suppose stress would be the answer..

 

However, I can count that in the past year we've had sex 4 times, and it wasn't really sex because I got too tired in the middle of it. I've started going to the gym to loose weight and building stamina. Even went to a class to learn how to put make up on to look better.

 

But I guess the stress just grew too much. He's hardly in the mood anymore and I'm getting angry. It's been a good 10 months to almost a year since the last time we've done anything. I'm hoping once the stress of moving is over, it'll go back to normal.

 

Buuuuuuuut....If it doesn't, I'll be too good looking to give a **** anymore. Yay for weight loss!

[BetheButterfly]

Alright, I met my wife 7 years ago. She was young, sweet, friendly, attractive and all the things I had hoped for in a woman. We started dating and once the sex started I thought I could never ever get sick of this woman because I not only lusted for her but also loved who she was. 5 years ago we got married. 2 years ago we had our son. In every step you always assume the sex and the spark will die down. You assume it after you get married and you are more "comfortable" with each other. Then you for sure think after a child it will change. Her body is supposed to change. It did, for a bit, but she is now 10lbs. lighter than she was before she got pregnant.

 

When she was pregnant we had sex at the same percentage as before (4 times a week or so). That ratio has been the same since we were dating. Even to this day with both of us working and handling parenthood we haven't lost the spark at all.

 

If I were to have sex with one woman it would still be her. I love her and am in love with her obviously but I haven't lost that animal lust for her and still look at her in the same way as the first time we hooked up. It is almost as if being a mother made me find her even more sexy.

 

So that's my story, I have a wonderful sex life, but does it ever end? I've only got 7 years under my belt and haven't burned the candle out at both ends yet. But what about the people who have been with their spouse much longer. Do you still have that spark like when you met? Or has it ended and if it did when did it die down?

 

I met my husband 2 years ago Today is our first phone call anniversary lol!!! :bunny:

 

I still have saved in my voicemail his first voicemail message to me!

 

From what I have learned from older couples, keeping the spark takes understanding, effective and honest communication, and enjoying each other! Love is action, not just a feeling or a chemical reaction (though feelings/chemical reactions come through the actions). It takes work and purpose and just like you, I very much hope that the spark with my husband never dies. The way I can contribute to never let the spark with my husband die is by keeping feeding the spark.

 

Congratulations to you and your wife for 7 years of wonderful sex and i hope your passion and love and pleasure continues for half a century at least!!!

[Nyla]

Although I have only been married for nearly three years, I have been with my husband for almost six.

 

Our sex life is wonderful. No matter what kinds of challenges we have, that is the one thing that remains constant.

 

I played the field before I was married and got all that out of my system, so I have absolutely NO DESIRE to be intimate with any man but my husband.

 

My hubby has been sick for the past week and we have not had sex or kissed on the mouth, so that he doesn't give me his cold. I am aching for his kisses and lovemaking. Sigh.