Nyla Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 That is what I did with my friend who was raped: I listened and told her the truth: that it's not her fault and she didn't deserve that. She deserves love and respect and is a wonderful human being and we her friends love her very much. (and I wanted to lead a group of police to that guy for them to arrest him!) I encouraged her to tell the police and prosecute that guy who raped her, but she didn't want to because she was drunk at the time of the rape and she is afraid her character would be maligned. I personally don't think her character would be maligned but it is true that some lawyers can be cruel and some in the past have ripped rape victims to shreds with their mean accusations and trying to say the rape victim is lying somehow. There is NEVER EVER any excuse for rape. I do still wish she would tell the police and file charges against this guy, but I can't force her and I can't do it for her. So, I just listened and comforted as best I could. I didn't tell her to file charges anymore, because I didn't want to put her through more anguish in feeling like she needed to justify her decision not to. Anyways, she is doing well now, as far as I know, and is in a relationship with a guy who I think truly loves her! I do really wish though that all rapists faced justice for the harm they do to others. Another good friend was sexually abused (including rape) when she was a child by her stepfather but he was never prosecuted. I really wish he had been. I just want to add, one of the reasons why I think my youngest sister is going to Law school is because she wants to help victims of rape and wants to help in making the earth a safer place. I am so proud of her!!! Most rapes go unreported because of the shame that the victims feel and fear that they will not be believed. I did not report the sexual abuse in my childhood until I was 19. The sexual abuse happened when I was 7. The court system re victimizes rape survivors by calling their morals into question. It is not easy to admit to police or family that one has been sexually abused. Few experiences are more humiliating....my parents and my brothers gave me hugs when they found out. They were sad that I held in the secret for so long that it began to cause depression and self harm. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hello from moderation: This thread topic is about the abuse that rape is and how it affects victims and the aspects of 'man-hating' which can result and whether and how these people can be helped. There is an excellent thread on pornography to discuss relevant aspects of rape and victimization to that medium: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/sexual-reproductive-health-practices/305439-porn-definitive-discussion So, hence, we'll discuss the topic I outlined here and pornography there. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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