What would you guys make of this relationship?

[ls32ssibm]

It's so old for me, but I've never written about it or have gotten any "blind" perspectives on it. I'm over it affecting my personal life, but I'm bored. So here you go.

 

The guy: My best friend, 25. Physically, honestly, probably a 9.5/10. Has those damn ice blue eyes, like Jesse has in Breaking Bad, could basically get any girl he wanted if this category was high priority. Makes about 50k/year, no college. My IQ is between 125-130, and I'd say we are about equal in this regard. Has a German Shepherd.

 

 

The girl: 24, Physically, a 5/10. Dropped out of community college (culinary), works part-time at Walmart. No car; no driver's license. Social media addict and narcissist.

 

 

Relationship: 7 years, on and off. Currently, on. Longest hiatus was about one year, brought on because she was sending nude pictures of herself to other guys online. She's an idiot and didn't bother covering her tracks. When the relationship started, my friend and I had plans to attend the same college and she convinced him not to go because she didn't want to be alone. Essentially nothing in common besides compatible genitalia.

 

 

 

It's been a few years since we've talked about it, but basically his self-confidence is surprisingly low and he just has no desire to find somebody "in his league".

 

 

Has anybody ever seen anything like this?

[KathyM]

I haven't seen it personally, that a guy with a lot going for him would put up with crap like that from a girl. He must have gotten a lot of negative messages from his parents when growing up that has damaged his self esteem, and he thinks he can't do better.

[ls32ssibm]

As backwards as it sounds his dad was normal but his mom was really screwed up. He just had an awkward time in high school which was his last time in such a setting since he never attended college.

 

 

Anyway, he knows he can do better, but just chooses not to. He has said many times he has no plans to marry this girl, but just doesn't want to be single / date. I honestly think he likes the convenient sex with the companionship without any complication that "real" relationships brings. His life, his choice, I'm not offering him advice because he chooses not to listen. Just sucks seeing someone waste so much of their life on somebody so lame.

[TheGuard13]

Has your friend had any previous bad relationships?

 

I have a friend who had one bad relationship in high school, and is now basically afraid of women, who mostly love him.

[Lani]

What I see is that he's lazy. And he probably will end up marrying her, because she sounds like the deadbeat type that would get herself knocked up, and he's probably too nice a guy not to marry her when that happens.

My sister is in a deadbeat relationship. Because she's too lazy to find anyone else.

They go nowhere, and are never really happy. But you know what, it's their problem. And although it is hard to watch, you have to eventually just put it to the back of your mind. Because it will probably never change.

[ls32ssibm]

TheGuard - she was his first girlfriend although he had others while they were split up.

 

 

 

Right on about the laziness. Really is too bad. She is such a disease. The most ambitious and driven I've ever seen him is when she wasn't around.

[gaius]

As backwards as it sounds his dad was normal but his mom was really screwed up. He just had an awkward time in high school which was his last time in such a setting since he never attended college.

Makes sense. I have a friend who's mother kind of used him a surrogate husband / beat boy when she was broken up with his father. He ended up falling hard for some girl who made him wait forever and gave him an STD while she was in between banging guys she actually liked and respected. Also slept with one of his friends. It's been a few years since they broke up but I think he's still not over her. He's super good looking and makes decent money, has a BMW. Some guys just like a certain self-destructive dynamic and if the girl delivers it doesn't matter what she looks like. Not sure if it's really a confidence thing.

[Emilia]

I've seen something like this last weekend. Not quite as extreme as the OP's example but still a very strong contrast between the guy and the girl, I didn't even realise in the beginning that they were together as it seemed incredulous to me. She ran after him a lot though so I think maybe his reason for slumming it is to get a girl who thinks he is a good catch. Confidence issue I guess. I don't know his family dynamics.

[ls32ssibm]

I think the reason is obvious. She'll do things for him that girls considered more attractive and therefore have become more privileged will not.

 

Good looking women become too entitled and stuck up so they don't know how to please a man or don't want to. Basically they have never had to work for it.

 

There are two kinds of good looking women. There are those who know it and realize they could get another man easily if they don't like your requests. Then there are those who don't know it but have been getting fat off the attention of men for reasons unbeknownst to them causing them to never fully mature especially in ways that would be considered disgusting to a child.

 

 

 

The only thing she "does" for him, from my perspective, is put up with him putting extremely minimal effort into the relationship.

 

 

The funny thing is, I think that she will end up breaking up with him X amount of years down the road. She's done it before. While it's true he's good looking and has a lot going for him, her type is Edward from Twilight or some twink like that. He's a clean-cut, healthy looking average male.

 

 

Once she finds a guy who likes the same music as her, or something stupid like that, she'll leave him again. All the can be hoped is that he finds someone, because if he's single, lonely and sexless again he'd take her back.